Fantasy's Dividing Line Part Two

                1

                Bubbles slouched.  The orange beneath her rolled slightly to one side and she groaned.  Its delightful citrus scent drifted to her nostrils yet did little to lift her spirits as her gaze fell over the ice cream tub named Pop and the cat Ginger.

"I was on my way to buy cream for Sugar's cat's hemorrhoids when it happened," Pop said.

Ginger's ears perked up.  "Sugar's cat has hemorrhoids?"

"Oh, yes, big ones with gross purple veins..."

"Can we get back to the subject of the Crystals," Bubbles interrupted.

Ginger swished her tail from side to side as she sat up.  "Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride are what to look for, right?"

Bubbles nodded.

"I commit those sins every day, sometimes every hour," Pop added and raised a purple cup to its plastic lips.

"But for a human they are deadly," Bubbles reminded it.  She frowned.  "You don't even know what lust is."

"Excuse me," Pop countered, "I lust after Carl's KFC and Sugar's assortment of exotic lotions.   I know a bit about lust."

Bubbles sighed as she narrowed her eyes.  "Fine," she said as she wobbled on her orange.  "What about gluttony?"

Pop tossed the cup aside, belched and replied, "Gluttony exists in many forms."

"Give one example," Bubbles said.

 "You walk into an adult toy store...."

"Give a different example," Bubbles interrupted.

"Okay.  Kentucky Fried Chicken," Pop exclaimed.  With every word its eyes rounded, mouth widened and yellow gloved hands flapped wildly at its sides.  "You know that you can never get enough!  You buy a bucket of mouthwatering chicken, perhaps a couple hundred biscuits, a side or two of mashed potatoes, coleslaw and you realize they forgot the butter!  So then you have to go all the way back to the counter and demand that butter or else those biscuits will go down like a tampon!"  Ginger and Bubbles stared in silence, eyes mere slits and mouths tiny o's until Pop's cleared its throat and added, "Well, that's just me though."

"How about greed," Bubbles then asked.

"That's an easy one: not sharing said food with anyone," Pop answered.

"And sloth?"

"On some days I don't feel like waddling around.  I sometimes need a wheelchair or I just glide into the bathroom to do my business.  Then there are other time where using my hands is just too much work.   So I just lay there watching the wall, hoping that something interesting happens because rolling over to the other side is just too much..."

"Okay so you are the master of sloth," Ginger interjected.

“And wrath," Bubbles queried.

Pop straightened.  "Someone trying to still my KFC will bring out my wrath.  Anything and everything will become a weapon."

"And envy," Bubbles asked.

 "The guy sitting next to be in the booth got one more chicken leg than me, the jerk!"

"And pride?"

 "Knowing that if I can fart loud enough and stink up the joint that all the KFC will be mine will make me mighty proud."

"I don't think that counts," Bubbles said.  "Pride is more like a person tries to disarm a terrorist because he or she will be considered a hero and save lives.  Sure they do it to save people, but there is still the idea of feeling being idolized among peers for a heroic deed."

"I'm not following you," Pop said and belched again.

 "Forget it," Bubbles sighed.  "I think we should get a move on.  The sooner we find the Crystals the better."

                2

It stood in the distance, staring down at them as they slowly advanced, but its crumbling walls dressed it in a suit of despair. Sidestepping a broken brick cluster Bubbles glanced over her shoulder.

Pop hiccupped and flapped its hands as another pink bubble exited an unseen orifice. “I think I have to poop,” it then whispered followed by a grunt and groan.

Ginger hissed and walked on her tip toes around him, her back curved and fur rigid, as she screeched, “You aren’t dropping a bomb here!”

Bubbles narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have a butt to poop.”

“What does that have to do with anything,” Pop asked.

“Are you a man or a woman,” she shot back.

Pop’s lid bulged as he grunted. A scoop of ice cream plopped out soon after. “Oh,” it said softly. “That feels better.”

“Answer me,” Bubbles exclaimed.

Pop waddled back a few steps. “I think we all know the answer to that.”

Bubbles squinted, her cheeks flushed with dark pink color.

“Let’s just say I am a man,” it proclaimed in a high pitched voice. Then a deafening scream followed as he flapped his hands wildly and danced from side to side. “That thing is eating my ice cream poop!”

Bubbles glanced at the berry creature licking at the melting ball of strawberry delight. “We have to find the Crystals,” she repeated.

“What if they are protected by scantily clad maidens whose only goal in life is to taste my ice cream?”

Now both Ginger and Bubbles stared in his direction.

His eyes widened. “It was just a thought.”

As they proceeded forward Pop continued to ramble on.  “Do you think it is possible to fart big b***s? Why do fat guys’ chests look like runny eggs? Have you ever noticed that when a fat woman walks her butt looks like two basket balls dribbling?” He paused, but only to then add, “Why do humans have only one anus? Their poop smells nothing like ice cream. And they don’t pee rainbow streams either. Weird, right?”

     3

Bubbles shielded her eyes as brilliance flooded the chamber. Upon the rays a foul stench drifted to her nostrils and she doubled over, her long fair pigtails tumbling over her shoulders. She reached out and curled her fingers around a smooth cylinder. As she plucked it from its cradle darkness swallowed them.

“Poop power,” Pop yelled and instantly a soft effervescence encircled them.

“Poop power,” Bubbles asked as she stood and looked at him.

Pop smiled. He was quite pleased with himself even though he did nothing to help retrieve the crystal. The only useful thing he did was accidentally squirt ice cream in some skeletal guardian’s eyes and blinded it, not that it had eyes to start with, but rather than try to make sense of it, Bubbles seized the moment to thrust the guardian against a stone wall thus shattering it to pieces.

“With our powers we could have just summoned the crystal into our possession,” Ginger stated slyly.

“But where is the fun and adventure in that,” Pop argued. “I think I have heartburn.”

Bubbles brushed dirt from her skirt and retorted, “It would serve you right. Pressing into the dark corridor she glanced over her shoulder at them. As they followed she added, “We can’t use our abilities in an exploitive manner.”

“Can I use mine to pop that zit on your butt,” Pop asked, his round eyes growing rounder as he waddled forward.

Bubbles sighed, her pigtails rising and curling like a pair of snakes. On top her head they wound around and around until it looked like duel balls sitting there with an occasional bounce as she proceeded into the corridor.

“The air in here smells like an old man’s fart,” Pop then said and hopped over a jagged stone.

“The crystal,” floated a husky voice that seized them in their tracks. “It belongs to me.”

“Are you Santa Claus,” Pop asked.

“You insignificant fool!”

Shadowed streamed together and in a twirl of dust and rock two crimson eyes emerged.

“Krosnos,” Ginger hissed. The striped fur on her back stood on end. Her body arched and as her ears lay flat against her scalp she walked on her claws.

“So that is where the smell is coming from,” Pop replied.

“The crystal,” Krosnos repeated. “Hand it over or suffer dire consequences!”

“Like constipation,” Pop asked.

Bubbles slashed the air with a closed fist. In a blink of an eye they stood elsewhere and Krosnos-free. A caramel sun blazed overhead among cotton candy clouds and a vibrant blue sky. Chocolate scented the air with every gentle breeze.

“He’ll find us again,” Ginger said, relaxing her rigid stance as she curled her tail around her legs. She closed her eyes as she tilted her face upward.

“I know,” Bubbles said softly, clutching the crystal against her chest.

"Let's have a bit of poop justice," Pop exclaimed.