n-ever

i twist i turn my mind it burns. my eyes tear up lips turn down brow furrows up as i fall to the ground and i shout out. 'you cant drift far if your already lost.' this is only a glimpse its far from a thought. i open doors to nowhere but i never give up. i twist i turn i fly and fall i stretch beyond my reach and hold. i fight i fail but ill never fail to fight  ill reach for the stars and beyond the reach of their light. so you say you cant climb the mountain or swim beyond the sea but i would  sooner drown or freeze as to never take that step that says you have a chance to be free, you can choose who you wish to be

Author's Note

if you must comment on my grammar or spelling please show examples so i know how to improve also thanks for reading

Reviews

[Boranus]

it's actually has power. but you need to work on omitting words. cutting and streamlining it like a polished sword, that way your poetry will cut deeper, quicker and leave a hole in my soul because you drove your point to the place where it's most vulnerable.

[RayXor]

I'll see what i can do. Thank you for commenting :)

[olla]

I like raw poetry.. especially when it has a sense of determination to prevail.. perhaps you could do this or that and make it more civilized.. but would it have the same intensity of emotion.. I think not..

[RayXor]

thank you. i always enjoy your comments :)

[Rose Diamond]

Really, really interesting! I'ts very inspirational, and there are quite a few quotable lines in here! Great job! The only thing I can say is don't forget to capitalize and to use punctuation! Example, all of you I's should be capitalized, and when using "I will", you must remember to put an apostrophe in there. There's wuite a difference between I'll and ill. :)

[RayXor]

Thank you for an awesome comment. I've always had trouble with spelling and grammar so it is much appreciated.