Military Police Jeep

A Story by Mr Alednac

It was the middle of the day, and it was scorching hot. The sand all around was baking and the patches of sand that were already baked were dry, crusty, and cracked with dead weeds sticking out of them. There would be a shrub or a cactus here and there in this lonely patch of the desert, that was about it for the local fauna and the desert animals were all underground, avoiding to be barbecued by the sun. If one looked on to the distance in either direction all you would see would be a giant blur of blue mixed sandy brown, and a bunch of heat waves of course. That's what Carl Ray saw for miles and miles, just blurs of blue and brown. Carl Ray, a 26 year old man was just wandering aimlessly in the desert. He didn't know what he was doing there; he had no memory whatsoever so he did what anyone would do if you were stuck in the desert, just keep walking.

Carl Ray was walking in a brisk pace with his long sleeve flannel shirt wrapped around his head like a turban. He had no choice to do this for his head; it was either his head drowning in heat or getting an opportunity to work on his tan. "Goddamn Mexican banditos, I know they did this to me it’s the only logical reason! Hating on a fellow Mexican American, hating because I'm not as dark as them and don't know a word of Spanish. Of course, it was that one bastich at my cousin Rudy's wedding I bet mad just because I was talking to a white girl, well F**K YOU!!! But hey whatever man, I'm working on my tan right now so don't even sweat it Carl you'll be a darker version of Brad Pitt and Fabio put together, I'll be sexy as hell when I get my tan and I sweat out all this junk out of my body, s**t this is a natural sauna out here boy you can believe that!" Carl pointed at a rock and kept asking the rock if he was right and when he heard no response from the rock he said, "Oh f**k you, son of biscuit."

Carl Ray continued roaming through the dessert throughout the next couple hours, he knew that the hottest time of the day was from noon till five in the afternoon and the heat was finally getting to him, “Lord, why you make this sun such a c**t?!?! It’s hotter than hell over here I bet Satan is saying nuh uh I rather stay here in Hell, at least I get AC in my office, that son of a b***h but damnit! What really irks me is that everything is so dry over here! This whole place is as dry as a nun’s p***y!!!!” Carl threw a rock in anger and quickly felt sorry for what he said and quickly asked for forgiveness and made the sign of the cross across his face. After Carl’s episode he stopped for a minute and looked to his right, he caught a glimpse of something in the horizon; it was a military jeep heading his way. Carl jumped for joy and ran towards the jeep and while he ran he begged that it wasn’t an illusion and it turned out that it wasn’t. The jeep had two MP’s in the front two seats, and when they quickly saw Carl they drove over towards him. Carl ran towards the MP’s with open arms, “I’m saved! You guys are awesome you know that? I’ve been stranded here for who knows how long, can you give me a lift to your base or something?” The two MP’s looked at each other and smiled, the MP who was the passenger of the jeep said, “Sure we can give you a lift but you do know you’re on restricted space that no one is supposed to cross right? Technically we’re supposed to shoot ya right now for seeing you here, isn’t that right Rinalldi?” Private first class Rinalldi looked at his partner and winked, “That is correct Sims, but I say you shoot him I shot the last two a******s who came over here.” “That sounds fair, Rinalldi.” Carl quickly begged for his life, “please! Don’t shoot me!!! I’ll… I’ll make you feel good.” Rinalldi and Sims started laughing hard and Carl just stood there not knowing what to do, “don’t sweat it man we’re just bullshiting you, of course we can give you a ride,” said Rinalldi, “But! You gotta eat this prickly cactus fruit first,” said Sims. Sims grabbed a cactus fruit from a nearby cactus and Carl snatched it from his hands and wolfed it down quickly. The two MP’s were laughing again and gave Carl ride back to base, while Carl was sitting in the back seat of the jeep, he began to feel weird. Everything around him was happening so slow and extra wavy. When they finally arrived to the base Carl was even worse! He began mistaking the jets at the base for helicopters and the personnel on the base as aliens. Carl quickly lost it and jumped out of the jeep yelling, “They’re here! Run you sons a b*****s! RUN!!!!” Carl was quickly shot by a tranquilizer gun and some other MP’s along with a Colonel came to pick up Carl’s unconscious body, “Take this man to a local hospital in town now!” said the colonel and the others quickly acknowledged the order “and you two, how many times do I have to tell you not to give civilians the cactus fruit!” The two MP’s Rinalldi and Sims were quiet and they both said, “Sir, it was funny as hell, sir!” “Well you do got a good point there, hell next time you kidnap another civilian and bring him out here in the desert, give em some cactus juice as well as the fruit when you go and pick him up and we’ll see what happens?” The two MP’s smiled and said, “Sir, yes, Sir!”

© 2012 Mr Alednac

Author's Note

I changed the title and image to make it fit more with the content of the story and the title also acts as an homage to a favorite song of mine that is similar.

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Derek Cummings

That was a fun read. I liked how chose to show instead of tell. This brought me into the story. The last paragraph was a bit of a marathon, but I was able to follow it well. Good short story. Than you for sharing and I anticipate reading more of your material!