The Violin Room

The Violin Room

A Poem by Livana Lowell

I conjure in my head
the smell of wood and rosin
and sweet romance as I would stroke my violin
as her lilting voice would settle around me
until she began to scream a jarring noise,
disrupting the flow.
I dropped my bow.
Silence pierced the air like a crescendo.
I didn't know,I would taste the salt in my tears
when I felt your betrayal kiss my ears
and pulled down my pants-
Cold against my skin, your Judas hands
and when I looked you in your haughty eyes
I wanted to kill you, but that day, I died.
I stood as a ghost in that room
laid down my violin and my tomb.
The room would stink of slithering silence, tears, sweat,
and my feet that ran away and tried to forget.
It's through my writing I face it with all my strength
in all my glory at having defeated death.

As this poem ends.
I release all my pain and hurt
like pieces of scrap in the wind.

© 2016 Livana Lowell



Author's Note

Livana Lowell
Sooo, I had finished an anime called Your Lie in April, which reminded me how much I used to love playing the violin, but remembering the violin makes me remember that incident and feel sad I didn't just- idk continue it even though I didn't feel safe at the school.

I want to know if you can feel with me. Did I paint a picture? Could you see yourself there? I know it's a sad subject.

Perhaps, I shouldn't post this, but I wanted to touch the memory and see if it didn't feel sore. I wanted to see if I could actually face that experience on a computer screen/piece of paper and speak out about it. I feel like I never really dealt with the loss of that so I thought I would write about it. I'm sorry it came out as a sad song, but I wanted it to sing. Hope that makes sense.

My Review

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Featured Review

It's funny I searched violin to see if someone could capture it. So firstly allow me to say you did that extremely well thank you for that.
From the placement of the instrument to where you placed your hands I appreciate it the pureness of the way you expressed it. It helped me a lot that at the end The Love of it the scent of the wood to the scent from the strings on your bow. At the end the things that I appreciated were peeled back and taken away and that part in particular made me feel that everything I loved within those moments had been taken. In my mind I saw it being peeled like petals and released in the wind of the opened window in what felt to be a windowless room and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Thank you for sharing this. This is the first of yours that I have been privileged to read.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is brilliantly written and reminds me of a teacher of music back in middle school our Violin teacher Mrs.Bickle she and a flaming passion for teaching the violin lessons to her students and I for one think the violin is a depressing instrument.

Posted 1 Week Ago


This is the ghostly tale of a soul that has been spirited away, it is incredibly moving and brings back memories of loved ones funerals

Posted 1 Month Ago


this is realy painful. i can feel your emotions at each words. very heavy climbing with so many twists . if you aske me if you did well. yes you did. all the troubles have end and sometimes can be also make happy end. prephas maybe you can make happy end even is never take place

Posted 1 Month Ago


It's funny I searched violin to see if someone could capture it. So firstly allow me to say you did that extremely well thank you for that.
From the placement of the instrument to where you placed your hands I appreciate it the pureness of the way you expressed it. It helped me a lot that at the end The Love of it the scent of the wood to the scent from the strings on your bow. At the end the things that I appreciated were peeled back and taken away and that part in particular made me feel that everything I loved within those moments had been taken. In my mind I saw it being peeled like petals and released in the wind of the opened window in what felt to be a windowless room and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Thank you for sharing this. This is the first of yours that I have been privileged to read.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A haunting and sad tale. You left the reader with something to think about. The topic honest, direct and cold. Some memories will make us cold till death. Thank you for sharing the powerful poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Month Ago


I'm so sad to find this is based on a true experience. I'm sad for you, but also sad this is still happening at such an alarming rate in our so-called civilized society. I definitely relate to your gut-wrenching expression of how this happened & how it still haunts. The best part of your writing is the way you use all the senses, setting up a stark contrast between the fond memories & the harsh ones, in terms of the smells, sounds, feelings, etc. I believe in owning our full stories, as it's ridiculous to throw parts of history away just becuz of someone else's bad behavior. I'm so glad you posted this becuz it's part of all the things that make you such a strong & poignant writer.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Damn. You really nailed this piece in how vividly you created the moment. To address your author's note: yes, you did paint a picture, and every word did sing. I didn't picture myself there though ... I pictured you ... I visualized it more as an outside observer than someone actually within the story. Nevertheless, I could still feel the emotion involved; it wasn't just sympathy for the character but the actual fear and surprise that the character felt ... reading this was almost like watching a movie.

For critiques, there needs to be a space after the comma in line nine. Also, I was confused by these lines:

when I felt your betrayal kiss my ears
and pulled down my pants-

Are you saying that someone's "betrayal" both kissed your ears AND pulled down your pants? If so, the phrase "pulled down my pants" needs to be "pull down my pants" for parallel structure.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gosh, JL!
This felt so real in the way your words reached in and grabbed my core It stunned me, really, in a way I did not expect, but being a deep hearted, compassionate person, I am sensitive to emotion, disappointment, and discomfort in others.
I see you as a rather naive, dedicated, and unsuspecting student, putting your trust and belief in a teacher whose motives were less than honorable, at your expense … and, for this untoward experience my heart reaches out to you with touching empathy and complete support.
It is said that what does not break one will make them stronger, and it is my perception that you are, indeed, a strong individual to be able to compose and share such a trying personal experience so openly and honestly.
It is my hope that you continued your lessons on the violin elsewhere, as I can feel your passion for its haunting beauty is almost spiritual in familiarity to your being … it would sadden me to know this experience has bade you quit.
Goodness! Just looked back up at all I've written, and your poem has not even been mentioned: Well, let me say how dearly I've enjoyed your skill in composing this excellent work in Free Style form, how spot-on your syntax, well-placed rhymes, and ease of flow, clarity, and emotional nuances are rendered and shared.
Brilliant, Dear Poetess, you've embraced my senses with mental, spiritual, and emotional textures, colors, hues, and strokes of sheer mastery any artist would admire and respect, and it certainly includes this humble olde bard … smiles 'n hugs to you, dear fellow Lady-Texan! ⁓ Richard

(200/100, if I could)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It felt real. The imagery had a great combo of motion and picture, that I really enjoyed. I naturally pictured you being the violinist due to your picture. When I got to the part about the "pants" the whole genre changed, and left me saying, No!!! for the beautiful imagery was gone. But at the same time I was wondering why you'd put this in your story, me thinking all was fiction. As I kept reading the genre got stronger and I started focusing more on the feeling than the imagery. But at the end I still looked at it as you playing a violin, because I was sad that it had to end, but again, I thought it was fiction, because it's 90% of all that I write. The first half stood out to me personally for personal reasons. The change in genre really drew the half mark, dividing it had nothing to do with the words, so yes it was very powerful. But then, I read your authors note and everything fell into place, I was like, "Oh my it was based on a true story," and just when I thought its impact couldn't get any stronger, it did!

Now speaking to a poetess I say you've done an outstanding job with this poesy!
But to the person I say, I'm sad that you had to go through that! And take courage, for your not alone.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Completely off topic: I loved "Your Lie in April!"

Very sad tale. I hope you have the courage and strength to pick that violin right back up.

I don't know if it was you, or another who went through this tragedy, or both, but... (there's no words to express my sorrow, for such a circumstance to take place.)

Yeah... the poem is sorrowful, written well, but the content pangs my soul.

We also share images now!

Posted 1 Month Ago


Livana Lowell

1 Month Ago

Yay! Your Lie in April had me bawling the whole day and reminded me the power of art and a poet thro.. read more
Liquified Realities

1 Month Ago

Remember to smile beautiful soul! Remember to smile.

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357 Views
13 Reviews
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Added on December 30, 2016
Last Updated on December 31, 2016
Tags: powerful, uplifting, depressing, sad, memory, violin, rape

Author

Livana Lowell
Livana Lowell

Huntsville, TX



About
Sooo, hello guys! Not much to say about me. I've been a writer since I was in kindergarten. I used to write stories about dinosaurs surviving the meteor (my favorites ones usually lived) because I had.. more..

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