The Violin Room

The Violin Room

A Poem by Livana Lowell

I conjure in my head
the smell of wood and rosin
and sweet romance as I would stroke my violin
as her lilting voice would settle around me
until she began to scream a jarring noise,
disrupting the flow.
I dropped my bow.
Silence pierced the air like a crescendo.
I didn't know,I would taste the salt in my tears
when I felt your betrayal kiss my ears
and pulled down my pants-
Cold against my skin, your Judas hands
and when I looked you in your haughty eyes
I wanted to kill you, but that day, I died.
I stood as a ghost in that room
laid down my violin and my tomb.
The room would stink of slithering silence, tears, sweat,
and my feet that ran away and tried to forget.
It's through my writing I face it with all my strength
in all my glory at having defeated death.

As this poem ends.
I release all my pain and hurt
like pieces of scrap in the wind.

© 2016 Livana Lowell



Author's Note

Livana Lowell
Sooo, I had finished an anime called Your Lie in April, which reminded me how much I used to love playing the violin, but remembering the violin makes me remember that incident and feel sad I didn't just- idk continue it even though I didn't feel safe at the school.

I want to know if you can feel with me. Did I paint a picture? Could you see yourself there? I know it's a sad subject.

Perhaps, I shouldn't post this, but I wanted to touch the memory and see if it didn't feel sore. I wanted to see if I could actually face that experience on a computer screen/piece of paper and speak out about it. I feel like I never really dealt with the loss of that so I thought I would write about it. I'm sorry it came out as a sad song, but I wanted it to sing. Hope that makes sense.

My Review

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Featured Review

It's funny I searched violin to see if someone could capture it. So firstly allow me to say you did that extremely well thank you for that.
From the placement of the instrument to where you placed your hands I appreciate it the pureness of the way you expressed it. It helped me a lot that at the end The Love of it the scent of the wood to the scent from the strings on your bow. At the end the things that I appreciated were peeled back and taken away and that part in particular made me feel that everything I loved within those moments had been taken. In my mind I saw it being peeled like petals and released in the wind of the opened window in what felt to be a windowless room and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Thank you for sharing this. This is the first of yours that I have been privileged to read.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

there was once a pain small as a pebble growing into the rage of soul. as one who lived in violation i can truly sense the other side of your soul.

regards,
al

Posted 3 Months Ago


'As this poem ends. ~ I release all my pain and hur t ~ like pieces of scrap in the wind.'

My goodness, you've felt both the bliss of music and the foulness of violation. How terrible that the love of the one should be slain by the other. Your words are dramatic, heavy with pain.. I can only hope, pray, that one day - if not already, you can yet again feel and hear your precious music once more.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Mournful and resonating like the haunting tune of a long forgotten song. Why are the painful memories always the more vivid? Very thought provoking and well written.

Posted 1 Year Ago


This is brilliantly written and reminds me of a teacher of music back in middle school our Violin teacher Mrs.Bickle she and a flaming passion for teaching the violin lessons to her students and I for one think the violin is a depressing instrument.

Posted 1 Year Ago


This is the ghostly tale of a soul that has been spirited away, it is incredibly moving and brings back memories of loved ones funerals

Posted 1 Year Ago


It's funny I searched violin to see if someone could capture it. So firstly allow me to say you did that extremely well thank you for that.
From the placement of the instrument to where you placed your hands I appreciate it the pureness of the way you expressed it. It helped me a lot that at the end The Love of it the scent of the wood to the scent from the strings on your bow. At the end the things that I appreciated were peeled back and taken away and that part in particular made me feel that everything I loved within those moments had been taken. In my mind I saw it being peeled like petals and released in the wind of the opened window in what felt to be a windowless room and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Thank you for sharing this. This is the first of yours that I have been privileged to read.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A haunting and sad tale. You left the reader with something to think about. The topic honest, direct and cold. Some memories will make us cold till death. Thank you for sharing the powerful poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


I'm so sad to find this is based on a true experience. I'm sad for you, but also sad this is still happening at such an alarming rate in our so-called civilized society. I definitely relate to your gut-wrenching expression of how this happened & how it still haunts. The best part of your writing is the way you use all the senses, setting up a stark contrast between the fond memories & the harsh ones, in terms of the smells, sounds, feelings, etc. I believe in owning our full stories, as it's ridiculous to throw parts of history away just becuz of someone else's bad behavior. I'm so glad you posted this becuz it's part of all the things that make you such a strong & poignant writer.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Damn. You really nailed this piece in how vividly you created the moment. To address your author's note: yes, you did paint a picture, and every word did sing. I didn't picture myself there though ... I pictured you ... I visualized it more as an outside observer than someone actually within the story. Nevertheless, I could still feel the emotion involved; it wasn't just sympathy for the character but the actual fear and surprise that the character felt ... reading this was almost like watching a movie.

For critiques, there needs to be a space after the comma in line nine. Also, I was confused by these lines:

when I felt your betrayal kiss my ears
and pulled down my pants-

Are you saying that someone's "betrayal" both kissed your ears AND pulled down your pants? If so, the phrase "pulled down my pants" needs to be "pull down my pants" for parallel structure.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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16 Reviews
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Added on December 30, 2016
Last Updated on December 31, 2016
Tags: powerful, uplifting, depressing, sad, memory, violin, rape

Author

Livana Lowell
Livana Lowell

Huntsville, TX



About
Sooo, hello guys! Not much to say about me. I've been a writer since I was in kindergarten. I used to write stories about dinosaurs surviving the meteor (my favorites ones usually lived) because I had.. more..

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