Daunting CursorA Story by RebelRegan
That would just give it away.
“That damn daunting cursor…” she thought to herself starting at the
rhythmic pattern that damn annoying line flashed in. She just couldn’t
figure out how to put into exact words what she wanted to convey to her
family. She started her sentences every few minutes only to find herself
to slam the delete key back to the beginning.
This was the hardest thing she has ever had to do. No matter how
pleasant she wrote it out, she knew the delivery would not be accepted
well. She has kept many secrets from her family, but this past week has
brought about a whole new bag load of issues. She wasn’t ready to go
there yet; admitting was so final. She wasn’t ready to believe in
finality. “By God, something will change… it has to change. We aren’t
given this life to have such misery the whole time…” she mournfully
thought to herself.
But there it was, haunting her, that damn cursor. It prompted her to
finally map out her thoughts and let her family know the truth. She has
started her entry a number of times over the last couple of days, but
couldn’t even compose one sentence; one word. Her perfection in life
wasn’t life itself, but the mastery of hiding and the finesse of lying.
No one, not even her closest friend, knows the reality that surrounded
her. But, as if life has put her on trial for her falsities, she must
confess it all.
“To Hell with it!” She slammed the lid to her laptop down. She made
her way into the kitchen to refill her tea mug, grabbed a handful of
chocolate covered almonds and headed back to the table. She sat down,
breathed in and slowly let it out. “Now is not the time to worry… time
isn’t even relevant for me anymore.” She took a sip of her tea,
embracing and rejoicing in the fine mint, clove and orange blend. She
held the cup to her upper lip, and breathed in the serenity the cup held
within. “To hell with it….” She reopened her laptop and started at that
damn blinking cursor…and began writing.
“I, Lara McGuinn, being of sound mind, do swear by this Will and Testament being honest.”
Only able to get the first line down, she wept 23 years worth of pain and disease from her core.
© 2011 RebelRegan
Added on April 10, 2011
Last Updated on April 10, 2011
Bigfoot Migratory Path, WA
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