I Tried

What happens when you watch a person die, a person you were meant to take care of? How can anyone be expected to deal with years of watching someone slowly perish and then act as if it was fair?

Fear's controlling me,

It's killing me,

I can't help but sit and cry

Yeah it's hurting me,

Forcing me,

To wish I weren't alive

And I want to run

I need to hide

Escape before you die

I swear I've tried my best

I've always cared

But it's too much for me to take

Why do I have to watch,

You rot and die,

I'm too tired to even cry

Yeah they said you'd live,

They promised it,

But their words are nothing now

And I want to run

I need to hide

Escape before you die

I swear I've tried my best

I've always cared

But it's too much for me to take

And I want to run

I need to hide

Escape before you die

I swear I've tried my best

I've always cared

But it's too much for me to take

Reviews

[Enar]

I like your intro quote almost better then this poem itself.

I tend to want to read the chorus faster and the rest more drawn out and slow

I wonder how you write such poems. It is good bytheway.
not with just powerful words, but they have strong meaning. sad meaning :(
I bet you have to get into a strong emotional state, at least I have to, to right a strong poem, but then I usually switch emotions quickly and will never finish the poem because it lost all the energy.

Obvious conclusion: It seems that your grieving for one's death.
I hope you don't feel like this all the time. Because it sounds super depressing and suicidal.

[Dean Kuch®]

It's pretty good. I like the message. It's so hard to sit next to someone and watch them waste away. Whether it be beside them in a hospital bed, or watching a good friend drink and drug themselves into obscurity. It's hard...

[K-mo]

really good, the flow of the poem is good and like you said the pauses do the poem justice, really nice!

[Siena - Silent Awakenin..]

I lovee this, you write in a certain way which keeps the reader alert.. pure excellence. - Siena

[The Scholar]

Flow of information: not hard to follow at all. Works perfectly.
As I don't frequently listen to heavy punk-rock, I can't give you much help there, but I think this is a well-written, poem/song that tugs at the emotions.
Haha, and it's not complete rubbish, nothing is with a little work, especially not this.
Write from inside, man; that's all they can ask from you.

My pleasure reading this. Hat's off to you.