SOUR

SOUR

A Poem by Rene Velez

she inhaled, a
sour essence of creativity
she talked barefoot and teasingly
her hair like aspen  
exhaling her dragon
high on the hill
and when she did pass
it was to new heights
I could not have imagined
she brings my smile so easily

lips like sugar echoed the Bunnymen
in the brown station wagon of joy
fire flies flickered against the stars
her hands upon the red dust of Mars
she giggled at the faintest noise

her posture and poise
and of the world
she told what she knew
enlightened in her truths,
and the loves that she blue
collected thoughts she held on to
like childhood toys

midnight daisies share her space
as she ponders the sour taste

and like a dragon she said
"am I poetry?"
as she floated towards
the fields ready for harvest

© 2011 Rene Velez


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Reviews

Thank you for the amazing poem. The story was beautiful and I like the ending a lot. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


Vivid write. Defiantly made me smile, the childhood toys..Thanks for sharing..xx

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wonderful writing - a magical experience to read this!

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is amazing, breathtaking! Shared with me by my friend Brad and I can see why! Beautiful, beautiful poem, full of enchantment and wonder and whimsy!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Outstanding write. Intense imagery and powerful expression. Complex and deep. Great lyrical lines: 'could not have imagined / she brings my smile so easily' ; 'collected thoughts she held on to / like childhood toys'. Have added to my favourites. Incredible. Just incredible.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Whoa. This was excellent writing. I loved the raw feeling behind it all.
The imagery was great...fantastic..but yet realistic. It all played out in
my mind with ease. She is an enchanting figure.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I really like this one. "midnight daisies share her space, as she ponders the sour taste" I have a question, though, with the third stanza, fifth line. Should it be blew? If it is a play on words I guess I just don't get it. Not to take anything away from the poem. Overall it was a very enjoyable piece.

Posted 7 Years Ago


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.n.
There are some really nice lines in this sweet piece. I like the all lower case too. It's an interesting mix of poetic imagery and straight up talk. I'm diggin the line 'collected thoughts she held onto like childhood toys'. Some good poetry here.

Posted 7 Years Ago


nice poem rene and a really awesome ending !:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


A fluid motion within the prose helps me to sense you forlonging for tender apprecation, a truly masterful working Rene, well done, good read.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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937 Views
24 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 13, 2011
Last Updated on August 16, 2011

Author

Rene Velez
Rene Velez

New York City, NY



About
Poetry... what else needs to be said? rene.velez@yahoo.com more..

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