December Confession

“Is she here?”

 

21-year old Jeff Gilbert asked himself out of sheer impatience and idiocy. He was sitting in his old grey coat, snug and comfortable on the worn out couch with a cup of now-cold coffee at the table before him. The rest of his box-of-a-house was quiet and somewhat dead and eerie. A cold chilly air was swirling around the house, probably coming from some distant open window, and it was sending jitters down his spine consistently.

 

It was the middle of December, and the cold was at its very peak. 21-year old Jeff Gilbert, an assistant at an antique book store, was restless, and all his senses were up and awake. He was so excited since morning for her to come that he had done all his chores. Peculiarly, his whole house was in order and everything was neat and clean. That was unlike Jeff. Jeff usually kept his things in a relatively messier manner, and intended to keep his place that way, because he found his things easily and knew exactly where everything was. He had never been very neat of prim and proper anyway.

 

But that day, he was. And everything in his reach was. Everything had to be perfect that day. There was no room for error. And even perfection wasn’t a choice. He had been waiting for this day since countless months and weeks. Five hundred and forty seven days to be exact. Yes. He had counted.

 

Suddenly, Jeff heard a knock at his door.

 

He practically leapt out of the couch, stumbling, but he managed to keep his balance. Before he opened the door, he made one last check on himself. His hair was okay, and his scarf and coat were perfectly in place. His shoes were a bit damp from the walk he had taken that morning, but he simply stomped them on the ground to shake away any uninvited snowflakes. He took a deep breath in and opened his creaky little door.

 

‘Who says nobody’s perfect?’ Jeff thought to himself.

 

The angel in the form of a mortal standing before him was in herself, nothing but perfection. Her long straight blonde hair was open, and her favourite red cap was protecting her ears from the harsh cold. She was wearing a brown coat with a dark sweater underneath and a grey scarf. She held a heavy bag in her right hand, and Jeff immediately took the weight from her, not wanting to wear her any more. But his eyes didn’t leave hers. Her own deep violet orbs glistened like an iris flower would on a sunny afternoon.  She was all he needed to feel better. One look at her made his day, and he felt like he was on top of the world. Those eyes held his whole world in them.

 

She was his world.

 

“Good morning Jeff! Happy birthday!” she exclaimed with childish delight, wrapping him into a hug. Jeff reluctantly looked away, but happily invited her to hug him.

“Thank you, Emily,” he said leading her to the kitchen. “What have you brought here?”

“Just a little gift I thought you’d like. We do need to celebrate now, don’t we?” she replied, hanging her coat on the rack. “Why are you still in your coat?”

“It’s way too cold. This one is pretty old already,” was his reply, as he went to the kitchen counter to make some fresh coffee for both of them.

Emily gave out an elfin giggle. “Oh then you’ll like my gift,” she said, opening the bag, and then took out a brand new glittering brown coat.

 

Jeff smiled at both, the coat, and the happiness in his dear Emily’s eyes.

 

“You shouldn’t have” he said, and hugged her again.

“Oh, it’s nothing. You have no idea how nice it is to have a friend in a city like London. Especially if you’re new here, and if you don’t know anybody,” Emily replied, helping Jeff with the coffee.

“Ah, I know what you mean”

 

They had a little chit-chat over coffee, and both Jeff and Emily relished it wholeheartedly. But throughout everything, all he kept asking himself was if he should do it, or not.

 

Jeff and Emily had been friends since about three years, and Jeff had loved her since the day he laid eyes on Emily. Not only was she gorgeous, she was also the sweetest person on planet Earth. It wasn’t easy for him to keep his feelings locked away and hidden from her. But he was too much of a coward to tell her. He was afraid of her reaction in exchange of his revelation and reluctantly preferred not telling her, for he was afraid she would never want to see his face again.

 

What Jeff Gilbert loved the most about Emily Grace was that she was unique, and not like the other girls of her age who were too involved in their make-up, jealousy and gossip to pay attention to anything else at all. She was simple and decent and plain, but she had a certain charm only a few could behold and understand. She was elegant and special in her own way, and she didn’t know that which is why she wasn’t proud of it.

 

He loved her unconditionally and honestly didn’t crave for or expect anything back. He just didn’t want to lose what they had by telling her what he felt. He wasn’t Romeo who had nothing to lose. He was Jeff Gilbert who was irrevocably in love with his best friend. He wasn’t living in a fairy tale. If only he were…

 

Finally came the time when Emily had to leave. Jeff had promised himself that he would inform her of his feelings precisely at this moment in time, because he wanted to give her enough time to think about her decision. Emily stood up and went to the coat rack by the door. She put on her scarf as Jeff followed her.

 

“I had a good time,” Emily said smiling her warm smile.

Jeff’s heart was racing. He smiled, the nervousness clinging to his face. “Yes. I had a good time too”

 

He opened the door for Emily to leave. With every second, he was losing his nerve. His stomach was tying itself into knots, and his heart was pounding. The moment-HIS moment-was slipping away, and he hadn’t spoken a word.

 

“Em!” Jeff practically shouted and grabbed for her hand as she was just beginning to leave. Emily was frightened for that moment. She looked back, sheer surprise and shock changing the look on her face.

 

Jeff himself was just as surprised. The hand with which he was holding Emily’s was trembling. His eyes were wide with shock, and he opened his mouth, and he opened his mouth, but no words seemed to come to him. His head began to throb all of a sudden, and his mind went blank. Both of them were frozen in the same position for a few seconds.

 

“Yes, Jeff?” Emily asked him innocently, this time, turning completely to face him.

“Have… have a good day. And thanks for the coat,” he finally managed.

“You too Jeff. And don’t mention it,” she smiled again and left, closing the door behind her.

 

Jeff Gilbert was struck. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He had just come this close to telling her. Part of him was happy he didn’t. It was a last minute decision and he simply didn’t know how to feel. Jeff turned and saw Emily standing there.

 

“Your… mail was on the door mat” she handed him the confused bunch of letters, and left with a wave.

 

That December day, Jeff had something to think about. Did Emily come back for a reason? Was that another chance for him to tell her of his love? He didn’t know. And he doubted if he would ever know…

 

Author's Note

Love...

Reviews

[Juan de Rajah]

Oh the many ways to portray an old concept, unrequited love, yet you have done well. The concept has been a cliché for a long time, yet your portrayal I find wonderful.

[TL Boehm]

I found it interesting the way the tone changed in this piece. It started out chilly, lonely and I almost expected a "horror" story brewing. Then the thing warmed up with the entrance of Em. It was a nice change and a bit unexpected. I too would like to see where you take these two

[Jules]

I enjoyed your piece here. I hope you write more soon. I want to see how you are going to stretch Jeff as a character :)

[Lina Grey]

Jeff Gordon is a NASCAR driver. change that, aye?
Otherwise, beautiful. love the suspense, the imagery. there are a few minor things, like Hester pointed out. Such as when your angel comes in; "Jeff immediately and at once took the weight from her." immediately and at once mean the same thing. You should pick one over the other. Also, I find it odd how you repeat "21-year-old Jeff Gordon", as if we have to be reminded of his age?
It is a great piece, dear. well done :)

[Aehr]

Thank you :D I've changed the name.

[Lina Grey]

haha that's better :)

[Rhea752]

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Gordon

Ya definitely change the name. After that everything was absolutely perfect. The details, imagery, and plot. I really feel for Jeff. Keep writing!!!! :D

[Aehr]

Thanks! And yes, I changed the last name to 'Gilbert'

[Hester Vane]

Definitely Love! You have conveyed the unrequited love thing well, sometimes I find it can be a bit clichéd but this isn't. You will have to re read it because I feel it needs a few more commas in certain places to, you know, help the flow of the piece better. One thing I would change, and its so minor that you might not want to, change Jeff's last name. I feel like I've heard or seen the name Jeff Gordon somewhere before and you want your character to be unique! Apart from that, a good story

[Aehr]

thank you Hester. :) I changed the last name to Gilbert.