The Tree House

I wrote this poem at the beginning of seventh grade. I know its a bit kiddish but i was getting bored and when i thought of the wierd things my little sister does, I threw it out on paper.

I have a little sister

And when she was three,

She used to come out in her pram

Strolling down the street with me

Now one day it happened, we went to shop

To buy my little sister a lollipop

And on the way my sister

Saw a park

Behind the park was a home

With a door like an arch

And behind the house

Was a tree

With a cute little tree house

Worth to see

Now as soon as

I took the pram home

I put a jacket on her back

Because it was getting cold

She ran to a tree in the garden

Oh, wasn’t it big!
She climbed up little on the roots

Then fell down on the grass with the sound of twigs

I told her this funny story now

She laughed and laughed and still he laughed

Grabbed my hand and took me out

‘Oh sister! I cannot believe

You didn’t understand too

I wanted that little tree house

To play all day with you

And so we smiled and ran to dad

And told him what we want

To build a tree house of our own

And have a lot of fun

Now there are empty coffee cups

And loads and loads of paint mugs

And pieces of wood here and there

But I’m standing on my own little

Tree house built with love and care

Reviews

[closed..acct]

Now there are empty coffee cups
And loads and loads of paint mugs
And pieces of wood here and there
But I’m standing on my own little
Tree house built with love and care

Oh how i love these words here, brought back some memories
around my old house. This is amazing. Love the imagery in this write.
You are very talented. I love your writes.

[luna11]

I love this poem, it's really nice :D

[❀ Gabriela ..]

Really sweet poem! Great job :)

[Thea]

Wow...This was really nice and interesting...I actually enjoyed reading it...Keep it up!
:)))

[AK]

Not kiddish, honey amateurish. I'm sure it will improve with time too, but if you want to know what you should be focusing on, please let me know:D

[Aehr]

thanks akansha, i know its kiddish but as you said, it'll improve with time

[AK]

If it is your first poem, then it's amazing! My first was written when I was in fouth standard, quite bad. You will find it here...
If you want serious advice(alert-it will hurt mostly:D) please ask me. It's your first so I'm not going to say too much. Your style, use if words, rhyming, et cetera will improve with time. So keep writing!

[Aehr]

yea it is my first poem

[AK]

Is this your first/about first poem? I'll review it accordingly. I don't want to go overboard with it. Great write!

[Aehr]

plzz review and let me know how it is...