Dancer in the Dark

"i have a talent but i choose yo hide it"

She have a talent,
But she chose to hide it,
Dancing in an old stage,
Which concealed her true visage.

Afraid to be seen,
What a coward she have been,
Letting her performance
Be seen by the darkness only.

Not imagining a crowd's applause,
But accepting silence,
Because every shoe sound,
Contains the happiness she felt.

Reviews

[Patricia B. Hepler]

'...I have a talent,
But I choose to hide it,...'

...'Not imagining a crowd's applause,
But accepting silence,
Because every shoe sound,
Contains the happiness I felt.'

Thought provoking; especially like the text quoted above^. ~pat

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for reading and reviewing (:

[Akashi]

Good poem.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for reading (:

[Akashi]

You're welcome for reading (what?).

[Rhianne Ney]

reading the poem

[Akashi]

Oh. I was saying what about what I said. You weren't reading it I WAS.

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah, right sorry I got tad bit confused there (:

[Writer #00]

What a coward she have been-->she has been. have is when the verb refers to a plural noun. : )

This poem conveys a great message, and the language is beautiful. I especially liked the lines: Letting her performance/ Be seen by the darkness only--and--the last stanza. Well done.

Limitless/100

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah, thanks for correcting me (:

[Writer #00]

No problem, thanks for sharing such a nice poem.

[KKBatoretto]

It's a pretty good poem, and I love how you were inspired by a manga. I love how it doesn't rhyme but still seems to flow very well. ^^

[Rhianne Ney]

I'm not very good at rhymes

[KKBatoretto]

That doesn't matter! What matters is your skill and you have good skill!

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks (:

[KKBatoretto]

No problem (:

[Heather's Musings]

very thought provoking indeed. My daughter also reads Magna, she loves it. I can see how you got your inspiration from it for this poem. You have a great way of taking inspiration and turning it into a beautiful poem.

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks I was just finding something to write about

[John McFadyen]

Then it is time to stop hiding it because it is beautuiful and as you say you believe in God. He believes in you. Do not diss him!

[Rhianne Ney]

this poem is dedicated for a "Manga" I read i'm not hiding my talent... It's very well exposed... I joined the WC to learn a lot... so-- to mislead you *nearly apologized again*

[John McFadyen]

You hide you talent from yourself. You don't believe how special you are. Look around the site and believe and do not worry about your parents or the people who would drag you down.

[Rhianne Ney]

uh... This conversation is quite I guess going astray... I want to clear it out for you... Okay, I'll apologize for the confusion... I entered this site to learn a lot since I'm a literary arts student and I get some disappointing scores for my Journal... My parents know that all I can do is write... and this is really my only talent... I hope I didn't confuse you once again

[John McFadyen]

Only talent? it is not my intention to patronise you Rhianne. You have more talent than most your age so maybe there are things you just don't convey on your course. Maybe you should be on a creative writing course? More focussed. Anyway I am not here to lecture you just some of your 'negative' sounding comments (the internet is bereft of true feeling) make me frustrated as you clearly have enormous potential talent. I will refrain from eulogising though and simply indulge myself in enjoying your work.

[Rhianne Ney]

You don't have to patronise me... it's quite embarassing... I'm at the age of confusion... so maybe there's still someone sleeping inside me that I've to meet and greet

[John McFadyen]

Possibly. I never patronise! I always say as I SEE. it is a talent and an impediment. I have decades of confusion behind me so I simply would use it to accellerate your learning and get you to liberation.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thank you..

[Eile MacIntyre]

Very poetic. :) I love the concept, it's wonderful. I like how they're doing it for themselves, to make them happy, and not someone else.
I think the middle verse is my favorite... definitely something I've experienced.

[Pencrafter]

Everyone has their own 'happy place' of retreat and security. There they can relax and be themselves. Enjoy the moment.

[Ruby]

I like it its really good

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for liking it, Angel...

[Ruby]

your welcome :)

[Anonymous Girl]

Beautiful =)

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the review... you've been kindly reviewing my poems lately...i'll try to review some of yours (;

[Anonymous Girl]

Its okay.. And thanks I'd appreciate that :)

[Rhianne Ney]

you're welcome