Paper Planes

Divided by a thorn fence,
I still made a bridge,
For the two of us to meet,
I sent you a paper plane.

A paper plane with my heart on it,
Words which convey my love,
Words which convey my feelings,
Words which connects us.

You're my pillar,
Even though I have a deadly illness, you gave me health.
Even though I'm weak, you gave me strength.
Even though I feel hopeless, you gave me a hand.

Tomorrow, I'll still send you a paper plane
A paper plane which became our bridge,
A paper plane that connects my heart to you,
A paper plane which you can keep forever...

Reviews

[T*Fuyumi]

Vocaloid! Sorry I'm not very good in literature and it's terms but I know I enjoyed reading this, how you clearly brought out the feelings that paper planes were able to carry between them two. How it can convey things, connecting them to form a "bridge"

[Rhianne Ney]

Thank you very much for your aspired review~ ;D

[Rouge (Roshan)]

it sounds very mystical and magical almost fairytale which i love. the imagery was solid and emotive. a very good read!

thanks for sharing, im happy that this is the first one i have seen of yours =)

pen on! mmmmmmkay?

[Rhianne Ney]

yeah, thanks (:

[Writer #00]

Such a nice rendition of the song (which I like a lot, by the way). You did Rin/Len justice. This poem is even sadder when you know how the song ends...and the part with the father makes the last line full of sorrow. Is that why you ended it with an ellipse (...)?

[Writer #00]

By the way, in the description you have typed 'became our' twice. : )

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah, sorry again (:

[Writer #00]

No need to apologize, plenty of people make similar mistakes (like me). I've notice your happy emoticons start with the parentheses and then the colon [ (: ]. I type colon then parentheses [ : ) ], not that it matters, I just thought it was interesting.

[Rhianne Ney]

Yeah, lolz

[Acropolix]

Mesmerizingly heart-warming. I enjoyed it very much so. Certainly brings strength to the days we may feel weak and isolated. I hope to be flying on this plane one day!

[Rhianne Ney]

I hope your wish will be granted :D

[Allycat]

Another great poem! You never cease to amaze me :o you're an incredible writer, and I hope you continue to write for a long time!

[Rhianne Ney]

I hope you do also...
if you have time you can watch where I got this it's Japanese but translated
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmiuWTBZAtY&

[Allycat]

Just checked the video out..that's actually really cool :D

[Rhianne Ney]

oh, thanks... it really is cool ;D

[KKBatoretto]

This is a really good poem! I love how you based it on an actual song! (Rin and Len are so awesome too! XD)

[Rhianne Ney]

of course they are... they are one of my faves!

[KKBatoretto]

Len's my fifth fave, before him (in order) are KAITO, MEIKO, Gakupo and Luka. I love RIn and Miku, purely because they are them but their voices are too high sometimes, but I still love them^^

[Rhianne Ney]

My top one is GUMI, next is Deco 27 then many to mention I will flood this if I mentioned a lot

[KKBatoretto]

Deco*27 isn't a vocaloid! He's a real person! ^^

[Rhianne Ney]

OMG! really I didn't know

[KKBatoretto]

Yeah, he actually writes some vocaloid songs, like Coward Mount Blanc and Mosaik Role by GUMI, he does sing some stuff too though ^^

[Rhianne Ney]

Oh.. I see cool

[KKBatoretto]

^^

[John McFadyen]

You are fourteen and you write this?!!!!! You have amazing talent! Amazing. This is a lovely poem with flow and metre and emotion. So well done!!!

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the review... I'm not kidding bout the age... I'm just counting three months until I turn 15... well done on your part also (;

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

In love? hehehe

I see that you are falling in love with writing in repetition :D

[Rhianne Ney]

yeah

[zainul]

Very innovative idea for connecting with the beloved one.
Lovely piece.

[Rhianne Ney]

I was surprised when you added it to your library and you subscribed this poem... I am inspired by a music video.. and wanting to share I posted this... Wishing that it didn't sound immature... thanks again (:

[zainul]

Thank you ,Rhianne.
Who blames you to be writing immature thing!
Love is innocent and it is born with birth of a person.
May we get the music video on this page?
Keep on writing.You already have some lovely reviews.
This a great positive sign.

[Rhianne Ney]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmiuWTBZAtY&feature=related
this is a Japanese song with English subtitles... It's inspiring... hope you like it too (:

[zainul]

Thank you lovely poetess.
I will explore its treasures.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks...

[zainul]

You are always welcome

[Katerina]

Expresses someones feelings for someone else romanticly. At least that's whatI think.
100/100