The light of my Soul

My current state

 

I lay here in the dead of night

Silence all around, except of my pounding heart

I shiver and twitch and pull the blanket tighter

Every night it is the same, I wake in search of my light

 

The dawn comes and offers nothing in sight

Giving me no reprieve from the dread in my soul

I rise and pull on the mask of strength and happiness

Every dawn it is the same, I wake in search of my light

 

The day marches on, and the dread pulls with might

I navigate the twists and turns that life throw

Every so often the mask slips revealing a glimmer of my soul

Every day it is the same, I search for my light

 

And as the night draws nearer

I want to run but have nowhere to hide

And so I return to my bed, alone.

The light of my soul has gone forever.

Author's Note

This is to say a trying period in my life.

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

I've been here in this place - and a dark place it is I know. I liked the repetition of the line: "every day it is the same, I search for my light" - it really ties this entire piece together. I think in some sense, most everyone can relate to this as well - for whose life is so touched that they've never dwelt in the dark? excellent write.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I think we all visit this place from time to time and it is glorious when we leave it and do find our light. Very well penned.

[Michael X]

Haunting imagary describing what it means to be eternall lost, look for a way
out of darkness, the imagery has soul stirring features, the passionate
sincerity behind the wording is expressed with truth and sincereity, I also
think the dynamic wording accentuates the vision, draws the reader to ponder
life and the meaning of death, powerfully surrendered in all subtlety

[poetforlife]

Keep looking for you light and it will appear when you least expect or plan for it. I wish you much light and happiness!

[Rachel DeHart]

This is a really strong poem, and not to sound tacky, but I really do know the feeling you describe here.

I hope it will get better for you soon, sometimes, just try to make your own light? But then we wouldn't have this beautiful poem on our hands.