Sometimes ⁓   (lost in yesterday)

Sometimes ⁓ (lost in yesterday)

A Poem by Richard
"

English [Shakespearean] Sonnet

"


-·~·~·~·-~**~-·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·-


     Sometimes ~ when twilight falls I lie awake,

     pure image of your face I’ll contemplate;

     then, loneliness … my heart beats with such ache,

     no fantasy of You will compensate.


     Sometimes ~ a sadness sweeps throughout my soul …

     forlorn, with wispy dark clouds gath’ring low;

     soft, blue skies form, a gentle breeze ~ I’m whole!

     All life becomes a tender, warming glow.


     Sometimes ~ I know and never shall forget,

     while other times I wonder what fate holds,

     but always sings my heart, a minuet …

     sweet rose bouquet our every word enfolds.


         Sometimes ~ beside our pond I’ll dream awhile,

         content within the country of your smile ~


-·~·~·~·-~**~-·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·-

         Richard W. Jenkins

                    ©2015





© 2017 Richard



Author's Note

Richard
Honest, critical, and constructive reviews preferred, please. : )

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Featured Review

Richard,
I found myself in the gentle, lovely allure of images and romantic feelings brought into the mind through the use of nature and its truths in your poem, "sometimes."
"When twilight falls-I lie awake." and "a sadness sweeps throughout my soul. to "wispy dark clouds gathering low."
Then this up swell of hope's joy once known; "Soft blue skies form, a gentle breeze- I'm whole."
Who can resist roses? "Sweet rose bouquet our every word enfolds." I even found myself seeing them as dark red!
Last but not least, just because it lends to sense of beautiful out of doors. "Sometimes- beside our pond I'll dream awhile, content within the country of your smile." Although Country may mean home land where your self and memory of loved one are citizens. I truly found this an inspiration to my heart......Blessings to you...............Kathy

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kathy Van Kurin

7 Months Ago

Richard,
I feel if something is read it should be understood. I try to understand. Maybe some.. read more
Richard

7 Months Ago

Such a joy you are, Kathy … I bow! ⁓ Richard
Kathy Van Kurin

7 Months Ago

Me too then! Kathy



Reviews

Skillfully crafted and beautiful writing, a very real sense of a seperation yet-"blue skies, form a gentle breeze, I'm whole, all life becomes a tender, warming glow"-a celebration of hope being able to blossom in the midst of heartache-for me the concluding two lines sum everything up so well especially "...the country of your smile" a country- a place where one can live, move and move on, great writing

Posted 5 Months Ago


V1 L3 "... my heart beats with ..." seems to make the accent on with .. doesn't seem just right to me ..but i may need to re-read a couple times to get the sense you are after ..
the rhyme scheme called for is abab cdcd efef. then gg when i looked it up ..you cut a fine line in Vs 1 &2 ... I have to call you on that .. "dark clouds" and "soft, blue" seems you stretch the iamb a bit... dark and soft having just a bit too much strength in them (to me) same with "...what fate holds,"
pentameter is correct .. turn is sublime and correct .. and who can ever complain about your love themes Richard! not me! your V1 L4 is such a depth of ache ..love it! and again your closing line contains such grand love and admiration .. profound and worthwhile love for sure ... now..critique my critique so i can learn some more ;)))love and peace
E.

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

7 Months Ago

ahahaha i knew that was coming ..you are right of course; i was reading with emphasis to check mysel.. read more
Richard

7 Months Ago

The only firm rule is that we don't "force" words into an iambic beat to unnaturally fit into our ne.. read more
Einstein Noodle

7 Months Ago

:) ...................
Richard,
I found myself in the gentle, lovely allure of images and romantic feelings brought into the mind through the use of nature and its truths in your poem, "sometimes."
"When twilight falls-I lie awake." and "a sadness sweeps throughout my soul. to "wispy dark clouds gathering low."
Then this up swell of hope's joy once known; "Soft blue skies form, a gentle breeze- I'm whole."
Who can resist roses? "Sweet rose bouquet our every word enfolds." I even found myself seeing them as dark red!
Last but not least, just because it lends to sense of beautiful out of doors. "Sometimes- beside our pond I'll dream awhile, content within the country of your smile." Although Country may mean home land where your self and memory of loved one are citizens. I truly found this an inspiration to my heart......Blessings to you...............Kathy

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kathy Van Kurin

7 Months Ago

Richard,
I feel if something is read it should be understood. I try to understand. Maybe some.. read more
Richard

7 Months Ago

Such a joy you are, Kathy … I bow! ⁓ Richard
Kathy Van Kurin

7 Months Ago

Me too then! Kathy
Life alone, now left with memories
Struggle with love, never meant to be
Remember the darkness in your eyes
Allowing this love to slowly die.

A sadness now grips me to my core
exhausting, each breath a painful chore
Love of my life, you rejected me
Destroyed our future can't you see?

Please release your hold upon my heart
Permit forgiveness to do its part
This baby bird needs to learn to fly
Unrequited love was meant to die.

Oh the feeling in your "lost in yesterday"......I have to catch my breath.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Susan  Capozzi

1 Year Ago

you know what that is Richard? it's that simple and basic understanding of one's feelings..when you .. read more
Richard

1 Year Ago

I'm swept!
Susan  Capozzi

1 Year Ago

payback! :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
As always.. it is lovely reading your pieces aloud in the quiet of a room.. seems to be a dreaming piece of looking sweetly back at a past love...
I do have one question:
while the poem seems to lean towards a past love that is not present..
the last line and use of the phase "country of your smile" makes me think she is beside you..
is that in remembrance of a moment? or a present within the poem?


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

My most grateful thanks, Renée!
Truly gratifying, these warming sensations from the essence .. read more
Renée

1 Year Ago

Thank you Mr. Richard for answering my question.. I can see now...like country that you remember fon.. read more
A touch of melancholy memories, and than the hope brought by a gentle breeze, the wonder of fate, finally the smile... You've penned an entire love story in a few short lines. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you most gratefully, Bill, for sharing your take on this romantically-contemplative effort, an.. read more
Nicely done very well put together

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Anna Dear … warmest blessings! ⁓ Richard
Beautiful piece!
How the image we hold in our memories are sometimes sufficient to live our lives with. And sometimes the same cannot quench our thirst at the moment of need.

Great write! Enjoyed the imagery!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

It is nice to enjoy one another, eh? : )
Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

..Indeed...
Richard

2 Years Ago

`;.•:*˜ 😊 ˜*:•.;`
Not quite understanding "country of your smile" ...
but still I appreciate the warmth in your words...

Lovely........................
Jazz

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

The "world" of your smile, the "realm" of your smile, the "universe" of your smile, etc.

read more
J. J.  Nightingale

2 Years Ago

Oh.. I was thinking that was the meaning.... Thanks Richard......................J.
J. J.  Nightingale

2 Years Ago

You are welcome..(unable to see the thank you here.. but saw it on home page..)..
I liked it. Very well done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Alex … just the boost I needed to get my olde pen moving again! ⁓ Richard

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Added on May 14, 2015
Last Updated on April 28, 2017

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Richard
Richard

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From the darkness I come to darkness I return, my life but a spark in the night. "MY BLOGS" (click on Blog in the menu above).............................. 1) Reciting Vs Silent Reading 2) On Fre.. more..

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