"Eights 'n Sixes" (see "Author's Notes" below for rules: I would be honored if any would like to try this original form, and any who do, please let me know)
"If all the stars fell from the skies,
the sun and moon, both failed to shine ...
if every sea and river dries,
still in my heart ~ You're always mine."
If there is nothing left like the sun and moon, and river dries
then love wouldn't exist. Love creates everything beautiful.
But I get what you mean. This is wonderful and beautiful
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you, writergurl 😌
Your praise is so inspiring, and the interesting comments .. read moreThank you, writergurl 😌
Your praise is so inspiring, and the interesting comments added just the needed touch this humble piece needed.
I'm not sure if I can review this poem and give it the praise it deserves..format aside ( one of my favorites)...it pulls at my heart from start to finish..I think those tenderest of souls have that unique ability to wrap up those memories and cherish them a lifetime..always choosing to remember then forget sweet love from another time.Ohh this brings out such feelings in me, makes me remember,hope and always dream. Just amazingly touching...I feel like crying (no worries, happens all the time) Such poetry goes straight to the heart and snuggles in. I truly loved this piece. Thank you Richard.
Well, Susan,
Im my mind's-eye, you've done a marvelous job of adequately expressing yourself .. read moreWell, Susan,
Im my mind's-eye, you've done a marvelous job of adequately expressing yourself in gifting this original poetic form in homage to the memory of enduring love all it deserves … and, I think you've more than amply praised and blessed it; certainly, beautifully so.
Thank you, Dear Poetess, for loving anything about anything I've composed …
coming from a writer of your caliber, I'm beside myself with pure joy! ⁓ Richard : )
So lovely, but my favorite :
Be ever glad for all we've had,
'tis long our hearts now wed;
that blossomed rose of ours that grows
drank every tear we've shed,"
Another interesting form, my friend...you make me want to try it. No breath holding though!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
LOL!
Okay, Claire,
I'll not hold my breath waiting for your rendition of Eights 'n Six.. read moreLOL!
Okay, Claire,
I'll not hold my breath waiting for your rendition of Eights 'n Sixes, but knowing your beautifully, skilled, creative, and expressive heart, mind, and soul I can almost taste the wonderment it would be, and, of course, I'm all astir with happy hopes you will. : )
Thank you for the "lovely" compliment, M'Lady, and for selecting this romantically sentimental piece from my imagination to read and comment-on, and most certainly for picking my very favorite verse … great minds, and all that*
Happiest smiles 'n hugs to You! ⁓ Richard
A lovely tender piece - when I read it, I quickly set a slow and quiet pace, like that of a lovers whisper, and to be able to make a reader do that, I feel it takes a lot of skill on the writers part. The rhymes enhance the roll-of-the-tongue flow of the poem. The only possible thing I can bring to your attention is the rhyme in the first stanza (Dear and care) - to me this doesn't rhyme but I might just be reading it wrong or you might have done it purposefully... the last thing I can think to mention is the wonderful picture at the top - for me, the fine "butterfly" wings represent the delicate beauty of love, and the dark sky represents the ever present threats in life...
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Ross,
Some of the most enjoyable and rewarding aspects of your reviews is that you let me kno.. read moreRoss,
Some of the most enjoyable and rewarding aspects of your reviews is that you let me know how the poem you are reviewing makes you feel, how you interpret it, that you enjoy it, praise it, and that you advise me of anything to correct of you believe will help me become a better writer.
What more could an author wish for? Thank you for these treasures of gratification, My Friend.
Addressing the first verse off-rhyme you mentioned: It is referred in the poet world as a soft, near, or slant rhyme … not a perfect, but a close-sounding rhyme, as in the sort of rhymes songwriters often use in their compositions. Some poets accept these kinds of rhymes, while others (purists) do not; I accept them, as long as they are not too far off rhyming.
If you'd like to, I will entertain any suggestion you might have for me by rewriting the first verse, either partly or whole, in an effort to setting the rhymes into perfect hard or straight form.
Thank you again, Ross, for being one of my most enjoyable and thorough reviewers … blessing to you! ⁓ Richard
8 Years Ago
Like always, it was a pleasure to read your work. As to the first stanza, I want to thank you for th.. read moreLike always, it was a pleasure to read your work. As to the first stanza, I want to thank you for the little lesson; it's always a pleasure to learn something new, and I can certainly relate the soft rhymes to songs, like you mentioned.
Very gracefully stated message about love & longing. I like the way this poetic form sounds when reading aloud. Your message is reminiscent of a love that's lasted for decades, the kind where two people almost become each other, they're so connected. I'll be honest, some of your phrasing has been taken from the book of over-used descriptions of love . . . but just like the people who immerse themselves in this kind of love, they also appreciate familiarity more than originality. Good job & good example of how to use your poetic form.
Thank you so very much for reading this piece of romantic triteness, M'Dear, and for whatever of it .. read moreThank you so very much for reading this piece of romantic triteness, M'Dear, and for whatever of it you were able to derive pleasure from.
I very much like it that you read it aloud and enjoyed the sound of the form.
I guess I've just been in-love too any times to be original … LOL!
Perhaps, you, in your more contemporary style, might compose one in the form so I can appreciate what fresh love poetry feels like … I'd very much enjoy that.
Hugs 'n warmest thanks to you for selecting this one to read, and I appreciate your honesty — maybe, I'll become a better poet from it … one can surely hope, eh? ⁓ Richard
8 Years Ago
I haven't been in love for decades, so I'm sure I'm no expert . . . (((HUGS)))
8 Years Ago
Oh, I think you know well enough what love is all about* ; )
Thank you so dearly for the coz.. read moreOh, I think you know well enough what love is all about* ; )
Thank you so dearly for the cozy hugs!
Simply beautiful Richard. You have created your own form thus proving your mastery of the poetic form. In this one you capture romantic emotions in a flowing, classical style.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you, John,
it is always a pleasure to receive your gratifying words of praise and appre.. read moreThank you, John,
it is always a pleasure to receive your gratifying words of praise and appreciation for my humble efforts.
May your words flow like liquid gold! ⁓ Richard
I like the rhyme scheme that you have invented. It adds beautiful rhythm to the poem. The title leads the reader in the main intent of the speaker, and the verses open a new window into his soul for the beloved.
The imagery whispered through the vivid imagery is but echoes of the longing heart.
Thank you for giving my form a try, and for all the accolades and appreciation bestowed upon this ro.. read moreThank you for giving my form a try, and for all the accolades and appreciation bestowed upon this romantic little piece.
I don't know much about form and structure Rascal, but I do know what I like when I read it. This is gorgeous!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you, Lynn! : )
Well, the world of poetry is composed of literally hundreds of .. read moreThank you, Lynn! : )
Well, the world of poetry is composed of literally hundreds of forms, so if you're writing good poetry you are following some kind of form, and I've read your beautiful poetry.
That you find favor in this sweetly romantic little effort says so very much of you, the woman and poetess, and I like what I see.
What a wonderful compliment … thank you again, with many warm blessings, Lynn! ~ Richard
Richard, this is an awesome rhyme. And it's all beautiful, but I really like those last four lines.
I'd like to try the form. It looks tough though. I'll let you know if I can do it.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Dear Matt,
I sincerely and gratefully thank you for reading this sweet poem in its unique for.. read moreDear Matt,
I sincerely and gratefully thank you for reading this sweet poem in its unique form, and for your praise, but most of all for selecting this form for your beautiful composition titled "For My Son", which I hope everyone will take advantage of the opportunity to read and review … simply a marvelously touching and heart-grabbing work of sheer inspiration.
Bless you, my friend … big smiles to You 'n your Boy! ~ Richard
Gorgeous...so beautifully written. I love the form too Richard...Enjoyed as always...SyberRose
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you ever-so gratefully and humbly, Dear Rose, for your praise and for loving my form.<.. read more
Thank you ever-so gratefully and humbly, Dear Rose, for your praise and for loving my form.
With your talent, you should give it a try … it is easy to write-in and makes for a truly beautifuly flowing poem.
I so love a poet who pays as much attention to form as he does to content. Most of all, your voice is strong and beautiful.
"...that blossomed rose of ours that grows
drank every tear we've shed,
and when it blooms, its sweet perfumes
caress us once again."
This is just divine!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
How shall I adequately reply to such a delicious portion of enthrallment, dear Linda, from such a he.. read moreHow shall I adequately reply to such a delicious portion of enthrallment, dear Linda, from such a heavenly, talented poetess as yourself; especially, breathless as I'm left?
That you love anything about me sends the senses reeling … ohhh-MY!
Those lines you chose suggests so much ~ tenderly-stirring imagery in pure, warm bliss.
"Divine" aptly exemplifies such wonder of your highly appreciated and favored review, M'Lady Faire … thank You most gratefully, Linda! ~ Richard