when you walk with me (sheer joy)

when you walk with me

in flowers' home
our footsteps
languidly fall side by side
shuffling slowly to life's song
to our hearts' beat

then, I think …
why is it
when your skirt floats up
between your slender legs
I can hear the wind
call me to look

mmm …
odd that I would
question Nature's directive,
the way your hair flirts
with my amazement,
the way bees find honey
I find yours;

is it,
I wonder …
laughter of children on a swing,
the way a cloud fills the sky,
or how a bird

knows its mate instantly
that draws me
into you

telling me …
how lucky I am,

like those ageless stones
beneath your feet
touched over and over again
in such
tenderness

as you do
each and every time
when You
walk
with
me?


Richard W. Jenkins
©2015

"WINNER"

in

Free Verse Joy Contest

Author's Note

I was asked if I ever write anything that is not grammatically correct … here is one of my rare few.

Critical reviews are always welcome and preferred! : )

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Well, of course I loved this... And, I see you received a Joy award!!
There is doubt in my mind why you won this!!! You captured the readers attention in the first line and kept them reading ...to find more.
Deep love drifts off your page and into the heart of the reader.
So clever... your line about the skirt...and how could you not look... ahh, that is what sweet love (and lust) are all about. Those special moments..
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

How delightful of you, Lisa,

To read this little homage to a joyful stroll with a beloved and find such inspiring favor.
That you "love" anything from me is truly blissful to know; this is exactly what I'd hoped for when composing it … thank you ever-so warmly. : )

I'm glad you've shared these "special moments"! ⁓ Richard

[Lisasview]

You are so welcome!!

[Aura]

Wow, even though it's not grammatically correct, you still capture the feelings of one person during a peaceful walk, the love and desire for the companion. I can see how even though you don't use rhyme at all in this free verse poem, it still has poetic voice and it reads naturally, I forgot that there wasn't any rhyme in this one, I guess that's what a properly composed -- writing wise-- free verse poem should do. Though how much I'd like to, I won't edit the poem to make it grammatically correct but it could use capitalization, and I believe at some parts you pose your lines as a question, so I think a question mark would be needed. An enjoyable read, thanks for sharing!

[Richard🖌]

Ahhh, Dear Aura 🌦

Once again, you bless me with the beautifully expressed deep candor of your brightly sweet, knowing poetic voice.
How truly insightful, too, your keen grasp of grammatical dexterity in perceiving such details needing to be addressed, and in clarifying my lack, thereof, I'll refer to the Author's Note: "I was asked if I ever write anything that is not grammatically correct … here is one of my rare few."
Then, your poetical mature acuity sings out, "I forgot that there wasn't any rhyme in this one, I guess that's what a properly composed -- writing wise-- free verse poem should do."

Aura, you are such a pleasurable delight to write for and share with.
You'r ever-so welcome … my thanks to you, as-well, Dear Lady-Poet! Richard 🌧

[Aura]

You are most welcome Richard :)

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'when you walk wih me'
Richard,
This was a good one for me. I write prose and this was a free write which freely flowed between nature and the nature of affection between two. To find natural beauty intertwined with caring affection really worked here.
Bless you much.
Kathy

[Richard🖌]

"Richard,
This was a good one for me."

Mm, Lady Kathy 🥂
You make me feel like the king of poetry … you've no idea how I love it when you're near … so, I'll try to explain it:
Who else takes time to read and reread my poems sometimes, wandering around in my portfolio, selecting something to read and find such effulgent favor in; then, writes a deeelightfully blush-worthy review any hope-filled bard would swoon over and want to hug you 'til you sigh in sweet surrender. ; )
Well, you can see where this is going 🙄; so, let me windup by admitting that I'm totally smitten by years of your special loveliness when you come to see me.

With warmest hugs of happy thanks, Dear You! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Carol Cashes]

"why is it
when your skirt
floats up
between your slender legs
I can hear the wind
call me to look"

Laughing...this could be every man's excuse for daring to sneak a peek!

This is light, but a love letter, nonetheless, and not to be taken lightly.

This is very good, and I'm glad I read this on this rainy Sunday morning with the dark thoughts that seem to be the order of my day.

[Richard🖌]

Well, Dear Carol,
Yes, we guys do have our ready excuses. ; )
It certainly would be sweet if this joyful little piece to gentle romance bade those dark thoughts change to gently warming smiles of imagery on a private rainy day.

I know your enjoyment and praise has warmed me …
happy hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[Susan 🦋]

When soulmates find each other..all is right! the attraction farrrr beyond what can be seen. Something that surrounds and pulls one towards another. Somethings, such as love..cannot be explained, only felt.

[Richard🖌]

How insightfully lovely and deep your words so tenderly touch, Susan.

Thank you, Dear Lady-Poet … smiles'n hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[usman]

so romantic...well written

[Richard🖌]

Thank you most gratefully, Dear Poet!

Your thought shared and inspiring praise gratifies an olde bard's humble effort!⁓ Richard

[andrew mitchell]

What a tender write Richard. Perfect in every respect Loved this and your poem reflected the picture of Colour!

[Richard🖌]

Many grateful thanks, Andrew, for your delightfully enjoyed words and praise in review of this touching Free Verse poem.

Blessings, My Friend! ⁓ Richard

[jacob erin-cilberto]

absolutely love the personification you use to give this poem such a wonderful personality---

listen to that wind...constantly inconstant.......but often pretty wise.

[Richard🖌]

Mm!
Of course, Jacob, us guys have a knowing, secret way to conspire with the wind, eh? ; )read moreMm!
Of course, Jacob, us guys have a knowing, secret way to conspire with the wind, eh? ; )

Thanks, always, My friend, for one of your excellent reviews! ⁓ Richard

[Sultrysoul]

A lovers stroll sends enthralling, enticing, deliciously blissful emotions. To walk the one you love ... nature gives praise to the love that has graced them to witness. With longing, loving eyes the lover gazes upon the beauty found within their other half of their soul seeing how nature speaks through them allowing you to reflect and praise the magnificence of this love and the preciousness of this enchanting moment with true depth shared in this moment of two lovers.

I love hoe your words are spun like delicate silk. How the flow like the calming river. Your words are graceful, creating true depths of feelings for the reader (myself). You are amazing. There is none like you.
Thank you for sharing once again such beauty.

[Richard🖌]

Dear SS,
How I ever missed this gorgeous review, I'll never know.
Your words in review have created a gorgeously caressing poem all their own … oh-MY!
If there is "none like" me, you are even more rare, M'Lady!

Warmest hugs to thee! ⁓ Richard ; )

[Sultrysoul]

Warmest hugs to thee as well

[Richard🖌]

Oh, Belinda Dearest 🥀

As I look back to those days you were so vibrant, happily sharing your poems and making friends, writing with such beautiful skill and sweet heartedness … how could you have been taken so soon.

With these tears I miss you with my every fiber.
Bless you eternally, Sweet Poetess ⁓ Richard 🍃

[JMKane117]

It reads so easily, in the best way possible. Your poetry makes me feel so little. Whenever I read poetry like yours and try to do the same, I end up writing prose.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, JM!
I am so happy you selected one of my poems to read and comment on, and I see you are interested in the Free Verse form, but are having a bit of an issue writing correctly and easily in this form.
If you wish, I will be very happy to help you, so you'll no longer feel "so little". : )
Thank you so much for your wonderfully inspiring words of praise and enjoyment of my little efforts … ands, big hugs to you for making me feel so BIG! ⁓ Richard

[JMKane117]

Lol I'm too scared to make another foolish attempt at poetry :P

If you don't mind though, maybe you could read a chapter from my novel I'm working on. I'm new here and starting to get near the end of my novel. I'm eager to see if my work months of work have paid off. From what I've seen poets usually got really unique perspectives. Thanks if you do! And I'm glad I found your poem :)

[Richard🖌]

Thanks again, JM.
Sadly, I know nothing of writing, and anything I gave you would only confuse us both, I am sure, but if there is anything poetical you would like my help with, I am along-tenured teacher who now teaches without a fee … giving back to our craft.
I really wish I knew how to critique writing, because I would so love to, but I'd first have to learn the skills of a writer. I feel a bit guilty, but I am just not qualified, M'Dear; so sorry! ~ RJ

[JMKane117]

That's ok ;)