One Desert Night ~ (twilight romance)

One Desert Night ~ (twilight romance)

A Poem by Richard
"

Pantoum

"

                                          One Desert Night ~

                                          One cool, dark night, bright stars above ...
                                          bloom cactus flow’rs o'er moonlit sand.
                                          Soft, soothing, coos the desert dove,
                                          quiet descends 'cross starlit land.

                                          Bloom cactus flow'rs o’er moonlit sand;
                                          coyote's howls, I'm lonesome, too.
                                          Quiet descends 'cross starlit land;
                                         'neath tall saguaro, dreams ensue.

                                          Coyotes’ howls, I'm lonesome, too;
                                          behind my eyes your face takes shape.
                                         'Neath tall saguaro, dreams ensue;
                                          in harmony ~ this world escape.

                                          Behind my eyes your face takes shape;
                                          lips soft like down caress my soul.
                                          In harmony ~ this world escape,
                                          while making-love, flow one and whole.

                                          Lips soft like down caress my soul;
                                          soft, soothing, coos the desert dove ...
                                          while making-love, flow one and whole,
                                          
one cool, dark night, bright stars above.


                                          Richard W. Jenkins
                                                      ©2015

"A Contest Capers Winner"

© 2016 Richard



Author's Note

Richard
"PANTOUM"
The pantoum is a poetic form derived from the Pantun, a Malay verse form: Specifically from the Pantun Berkait, a series of interwoven quatrains from the 15th century, a short folk poem.
The Pantoum is similar to the Villanelle, in that there are repeating lines throughout the poem. It is composed of a series of 5 Quatrains in lines of 8-syllables each; the 2nd and 4th lines of each stanza are repeated as the 1st and 3rd lines of each ensuing stanza, as follows:

Line 1 - Rhyme A
Line 2 - Rhyme B
Line 3 - Rhyme A
Line 4 - Rhyme B

Line 5 - Line 2 previous verse B
Line 6 - Rhyme C
Line 7 - Line 4 previous verse B
Line 8 - Rhyme C

Line 9 - Line 2 previous verse C
Line 10 - Rhyme D
Line 11 - Line 4 previous verse C
Line 12 - Rhyme D

Line 13 - Line 2 previous verse D
Line 14 - Rhyme E
Line 15 - Line 4 previous verse D
Line 16 - Rhyme E

Continue the cycle carrying the even lines to the odd of the next stanza for as many stanzas as you wish - though, with a minimum of four stanzas and a final Quatrain, as below:

EXCEPT FOR the last stanza which is built as follows:
Line 2 of previous stanza E
Line 3 of FIRST stanza A
Line 4 of previous stanza E
Line 1 of FIRST stanza A

—————————————————————————————

Critical reviews are always welcome! : )

My Review

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Featured Review

It certainly does work very well. The 'short folk poem', with its interesting repetitions, reminds me of music. Like music, it is heard with different senses. I can see you poem, I can hear your poem, I can feel your poem, I can envisage your poem, and even identify with it. Beautiful Pantoum!

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

5 Months Ago

Thank you, Dear Astri,
Your lovely words of understanding depth and delightful expressions ar.. read more
Great Aunt Astri

5 Months Ago

I am pleased it ignited the right buttons! Thank you very much for appreciative review.
Richard

5 Months Ago

You're a pleasure, Astri … hugs! ⁓ RJ : )


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Reviews

A great write Richard and I enjoyed the education behind this. Nicely explained and informative Thank you for sharing!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Andrew, I cannot thank you enough for reading and enjoying my poetry, My Friend, and your praise is .. read more
Well, Richard, few have gotten me to review poetry, but since you've overtaken me as a reviewer, I decided to see what you had to offer! I was looking for prose, but having found none, I decided to take a look at this. It is a lovely poem; knowing zilch about poetry (and generally not liking it which may be related to not knowing much about it), I like the form and I appreciate your author's note explaining it. I found the poem very soothing and graceful -- the repetition of the themes and certain lines felt like swirling meteors in a starry sky or perhaps Van Gogh's "Starry Night." Lovely images -- coyotes' howls the auditory expression of the narrator's loneliness. You appealed to all of the senses . Your poem was "soft like down" to caress the soul.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Hi, Taylor!
What a privilege and honor it is to have my poetry reviewed and critiqued by such.. read more
Reading this was a form of meditation. You personified the desert's unspoken gentleness and created a firm bond between it and the speaker. It almost seemed like a calming bridge between the speakers present self and fond memories of the past. Interesting note on the form as well.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you most gratefully and warmly, Jake, for your thoughtfully insightful review … a poem withi.. read more
It doesn't get much better than this. The picture and the words fit together so well. Thanks for pointing out what a pantoum is. I'll try one in the future. Excellent work Richard.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Love this form. Beautiful work. Soothing and gentle as a late Summer breeze.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Even though I don't know every form of poetry (as I am truly eager to learn) every word you write always speaks to my soul, resignating in my heart, reaching deep within me. You are truly magic and I am gifted through every word. Thank you for sharing. Warm hugs to you

Sultrysoul

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Ya gotta be kidding, SS!
How on earth did I ever miss this heavenly review from the site's mo.. read more
Sultrysoul

1 Year Ago

Better late than never. I'm pleased to always gaze upon the grace of your words it's always an honor.. read more
A beautiful poem, Richard. And wow, what a puzzle the form is. Thanks for letting us know about it. :)
Here you show us, not just your talent for beautiful wording, but your "mental elasticity"... It takes a lot to wrap your mind around all of this and seal the phrase. Haha

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you most sincerely, Matt!
With praise and acknowledgments of insightful understanding a.. read more
Reached the half way mark and wondered why you were repeating certain phrases; wasn't sure whether i liked it or no. Then at last, the thought dawned - maybe this is a specific form of poetry..Read on and - realised it was - fool, me. FINALLY, of course arrived at your Author's Note! Should have read it first perhaps?

No, NO, glad i didn't because i 'd so appreciated the meter of the piece and of course, its content. Had i known more, am pretty sure i'd have focussed on the technicalities rather than the actual 'wordage'! Thank you for the lesson on how to.. tis really interesting.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you truly and gratefully, emma joy, for not giving-up on this little effort at poetic expressi.. read more
As Roland said... I live in the desert, so this verse caught my eye..
Favorite line... soft, soothing, coos the desert dove .............

I don't care for form .. never use it..

But this flows cool and mild.........

Jazz

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you most gratefully, Jasmine, for reading and commenting on this lovely Pantoum poem of desert.. read more
J. J.  Nightingale

2 Years Ago

You are welcome Richard...................
The pantoum makes my head spin (or maybe it's the wine). Will I ever attempt this? I almost certainly would have to dry out first. What attracted me to the poem is that I live in the desert, and your description is perfection!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Roland Petrov

2 Years Ago

My first pantoum is posted!
Richard

2 Years Ago

Oh-BOY!
I'm running over there fast as I can!
A super English Sonnet next, eh? : )
Roland Petrov

2 Years Ago

You will see that iambic pentameter is not my strong suite, but thanks to your dogged determination,.. read more

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Added on August 23, 2015
Last Updated on April 14, 2016

Author

Richard
Richard

TX



About
From darkness I come to darkness I return, my life's a mere a spark in the night. "MY BLOGS" (click on Blog in the menu above).............................. 1) Reciting Vs Silent Reading 2) On Fr.. more..

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