Sweet Island Girl ⁓ (Caribbean fantasy)

English [Shakespearean] Sonnet

Author's Note

Constructive critique is always welcome! : )

Reviews

[Aura]

This is an imaginative Sonnet Richard, about the allure of an island girl. You do a marvelous job with elision such as "o'er", " 'pon ", " e'er". It's just enough that the readers know what word you've shortened without scratching their heads.

I have a question. In your first stanza, first line it says:

"As she pulls back her flaxen, sun-kissed hair,"
as SHE pulls BACK her FLAXen, SUN-kissed HAIR,
Could you explain how there isn't any stress on "kiss"? Usually I think when you have a word ending with ed, the dominant word would be stressed while ed would be unstressed. Could it be the word that preceded kissed , so sun, was stressed already and that lessened the stressed Syllable of kiss?

[Richard🖌]

Greetings, Poetess 🌾

Another brilliantly constructive review from one of our beautifully blossoming writers in praise, expressed appreciation, and with a growing aptitude in the use of finer poetic devices.
In addressing your V1,L1 question on Iambics: words such as MEDiCATed, IRRiTATed, etc; do have soft or unstressed sound. But, words line FIXatED can fool you, because the long syllable sound is in the middle of two normally unstressed syllables. Sometimes, stresses depend on where in a line a word falls in a normal/natural pronunciation of a line, sentence, or phrase, etc; that may change it iambic beat from soft to HARD and vice versa. A word by itself may be unstressed or STRESSED; then, change when inserted into a poetic or recited line. Often, there might be clear and decisive iambics, in others only slight nuances that alter the rise and fall of STRESSES.
This is rather advanced, iambically speaking, but is exactly why reading poetry written in iambics is such a great teaching tool … because, it touches on details a lesson might not, and the reader is the one noticing and asking; not the teacher striving to stuff it into a student … LOL! An odd analogy, I know, but there's a good deal of truth in it, nonetheless.

What I think's amazing here, is how in your final paragraph, you figured it out, answering your own questions. Now, you have to learn that every word that ends in "ed" is not another syllable … smile*

Thank you, Dear Poetess, for such an exhilaratingly productive review … way to go! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Richard🖌]

🤔 All the deletes are because the site kept cutting my review off on the second line … why it does this is due to the little floating "X" that interferes … I often forget to put it away by clicking on it.

Mea culpa!

[Aura]

Oh that makes a little bit more sense then. So depending where z word is in the line can also affect whether it's stressed or unstressed. Interesting, thanks

[Terry O'Leary]

I don't know about 'Virgin Isle champagne', but your words are intoxicating...
I have no 'critique' to offer...
An exhilarating read!!
Terry

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Terry, for your words of expressed enjoyment and appreciation for this savory island romp.
"Virgin isle champagne", of course, is metaphoric for her sweet, intoxicating flow.

Smooth sailing, My Friend! ⁓ Richard ; )

[samiha zubair]

A gentle and yet vivid expression of one's dream girl

[Richard🖌]

Many thanks, Samiha!

Blessings upon your day, My Poet Friend … namasté ⁓ Richard : )

[Willard Wells]

I smiled a bit at the comment "just for you", but now that I am here I understand. Beautiful imagery and the words paint a beautiful picture of what sounds to be an Island Princess.

The allure of an Island Girl will haunt men forever as it did the first adventures that stepped foot on an island paradise the first time. Thank you for pointing me to this great poem.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Willard,
I knew you'd find sweet favor in this luringly stirring little piece.
read moreThank you, Willard,
I knew you'd find sweet favor in this luringly stirring little piece.

Your review, a poem in itself … grin! ⁓ Richard

[Valentine]

How can I ask you to improve this gem. Your old time style of writing is so beautiful, I love reading your writes. Valentine

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Poetess, ever-so warmly for your sweet words in appreciation and enjoyment.

Hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard ; )