there.... (first time)

Free Verse

there....

                it still can

                be seen in a heart

                two initials

                carved carefully

                into the bark

                fourteen years

                two months

                nine days ago

                come midnight

                her young slender

                fingers guided him

                there....

                into

                his first glimpse

                of heaven.

                Richard W. Jenkins

                                  ©2016

                                 1st Place Winner

                                       

                             First Experience

                                     Contest

Author's Note

Photo by Shutterstock

Any well-meant, constructive help will be gratefully welcomed! : )

Reviews

[heavenscentgirl1]

Reading your words had me right "there" as I read this sweetly sensual little piece of heaven.

I loved everything about it, the descriptive words you've chosen, the easy to read layout and that gorgeous picture makes this an exquisite piece of artistry. Well done Richard!

Blessings, 🙏
~ mj

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Mary Jo,
Your lovely words of appreciation, enjoyment, and understanding tenderness in nostalgic embrace, truly gratify my humble efforts in composing and sharing this sweet little piece from my fertile imagination, hopefully, many will relate to and imagine from their own first experience.

Hugs 'n warmest blessings! ⁓ Richard : )

[Kathryn Smith]

This is graceful Richard. Well done. xx Kisses.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Kathryn Dear! ; )
How beautifully your gracious words touch ⁓ Richard x0x

[William Liston]

Edgar Poe once said, "delicacy is the poet’s own kingdom — his El Dorado." I couldn't help but think of that quote as I read this piece. Each line was warm and feathery, portraying every meaningful detail of a special memory in a highly poetic way. I also liked the subtle descriptions in how they let the reader infer the sensual details.

I really enjoyed the brevity and stylistic choices in the piece ... the short line breaks, absence of captitalization, and virtual lack of punctuation complemented the overall feeling. Overall, you've written an amazing piece. There's nothing I can critique.

- William Liston

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, My Dear Friend! : )
I think you reviews speak to me more clearly, deeply, productively, inspiringly, meaningfully, and enjoyably than any other's.

Bless you, William! ⁓ Richard

[horizon]

I really really really really loved the photograph..and what to say about the poetry it's just awesome blossom in my language...the words two initials carved carefully just went through...the exact amount of time referring as years months...it's beautiful

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully for your lovely, treasured words … warmest hugs to you! ~ Richard

[R.M.C]

A wonderful piece - in its simplicity, its flow and the captured idea. Though many see simplicity as a lack of talent and a constriction in how you draw the reader in (and engage with them), it is anything but; sometimes the deepest feelings can be easier to feel when the words are simple yet detailed and explore the beautiful allure of imagery. Your poem has spoken to the reader and connected with them - in my opinion, that determines how good a poem is and yours is great. Hope to see some more simple and captivating poetry of yours in the future. Ross

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Ross!
I very much enjoyed your words of deeper understanding and praise for this brief little piece, and I must agree with your thoughts that simple can be the most clear and impacting kind of poetry to connect with the reader.
I'll try to keep it "simple" for you, My Friend … grateful smiles 'n many blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Dave]

What more can you ask for? You have shone a light on the beauty of first love in all its' innocence.
Don't we, can't we, all remember that first time? Time stood still and it was just the two of you. You may tinker all you wish, but its' beauty lies in its' simplicity. Damn and bless you Richard! You have stirred up so many fond memories!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you Dave,
For such a thoughtful and insightful review, and the smile from being chided for igniting long ago, sensationally-felt memories, eh? ; )
I am honored to have been chosen twice this day to be blessed by your keen words, and to have my poems read and enjoyed by such an artist as yourself.
Thank you, again, Dave! ⁓ Richard

[Ellen Kolman]

I love it...allows the imagination to identify memories of our own...first time love; new love; our first glimpse of heaven...how beautiful it was under a tree.....

[Richard🖌]

Oh, Ellen*
You words in review, a poem in themselves, stir emotions and warmth of beautiful memories — enticing such welcome feeling.
Much joy, M'lady … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[DIVYA]

I adored it as it is. You captured the moment in all it's glory. 👏

[Richard🖌]

Sweet words, Divya*
How very happy I am you adore this sweet, simple bit of youthful verse.read moreSweet words, Divya*
How very happy I am you adore this sweet, simple bit of youthful verse.
Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully … hugs to you, M'Lady! ⁓ Richard

[Willard Wells]

Simple with a great memory of love and the first time. As a fan of short verse, you know I love this piece. Not your best is still above the rest.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Willard!
Thank you, My Friend, for finding favor in this simple little homage to youthful romance, for your gratifying praise, and for loving it.
My very best to you, Willard! ⁓ Richard

[emmajoy]

Seems first time Innocence is almost a dirty word these days, The sad result of a sad society that pays for seats to see rivers of blood, sightless zombies and twenty gun shots in five seconds. Your poems 's a beautiful and charming memorial to a an almost dying intention. Long live lovers who feel the thrill of heaven.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, Em!
Yes, it is such a shame that love stories and movies seem to be replaced more and more by mayhem and gore … whatever happened to to the wonderful enthrallment of warmth and romance?
Hip, hip, hooray for the thrill of heavenly lovers feeling it … you're my kind'a woman!

Thank you again, Em, for your gracious praise and comments! ⁓ Richard