Written with air ... (dolor)

Free Verse

Written with air …

There may come a time
when thoughts dissipate,
like frost that lingered
as lace on green blades;
and, like early dew,
you are no longer here,
inside my mind, my soul ...
my heart unthawed
by life's sun bowing  out,

in abjured encore.

Where have our moments gone,
those that called us out to dance,
to warmly embrace it all,
to revel in laughter's afterglow,
shining with tears of forgiveness;
and, what of all the gold we shared,
our hours spent
in ethereal lovemaking?

I knew you - oh so well ...
the child inside,
the woman of you, too,
and all that life called us to be,
together ~
in the spark of eternal
forevermore.

Our days and nights,
spent wrapped in splendor,
thrust together,
entwined like vines
with insatiable fingers ...
swimming your pools
of endless depth,
those verdant portals
into your soul.

It is as though ...
a mystical wand passed over us,
and like the sigh
of a baby's first breath ...
here, in soft feathered touch,
... shhh!

Gone now,
forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air.


Richard W. Jenkins
©2016

Not my best work, I know, but I needed to say something that felt real,
exactly as it crossed my heart ... I know you understand.
I didn't even stop to check for spelling ...

so very much unlike me ... LOL!
Any help is welcomed.

Author's Note

Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

Yeah, I know, it needs something … any help will be appreciated. : )

Reviews

[lovelymarina]

The vivid imagery in this one was so alluring... made me want to keep reading...and the ending was the best part. "As if we, You and I, were merely, Written with air" That line struck me. You are so talented at guiding the reader to feel every word spoken in your poetry. Another masterpiece!
Marina

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Marina Dear, most humbly and gratefully.💫

Soon enough, M'Lady, graciously compelling words, such as yours, will adorn every review on every piece your enthralling pen can bestow.

You make me want to reread every poem you've reviewed, just to know how wonderful they must be.
Miles of cozy smiles! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Lisasview]

Oh this one is fabulous... Tender~heart warming words..Deep love...
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

More like deep sorrow and distress, Lisa 😔

I appreciate any time spent on this one! ⁓ Richard

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
Interesting what one takes from any given poem....
Lisa

[kitty]

True to life ... and life is what we make of it. Deflated dreams are when reality sets in and the heart sinks to lowest depths and cries.We ask is it possible to forget those times that have made indelible marks on mind body and soul.

[Richard🖌]

Kitty,
Your words are so real, so knowing, so very deeply touching.
I realize your question may be rhetorical in nature, but to answer, "I don't think so; not entirely, or if it is, I've never found it possible."

Thanks, Dear Poetess, for another great read and commentary! ⁓ Richard : )

[kitty]

Thanks for understanding the rhetorical nature of my my review. I am sure other readers will understand too. A good week end to you., M'lord!

[Cherrie Palmer]

It is a wonderful expression of thought in motion. It is graceful and thought provoking.

[Richard🖌]

Aw,
Gee, thanks, Cherrie.

[kuDEErat]

Am new here.....and this was the first piece I saw on my feed and I enjoyed it.am looking to more

[Richard🖌]

Welcome to the site, and thanks for reading my poem.
Glad you enjoyed it, too.
Brush-up on reviewing technique if you expect helpful critique on your poems. There are loads of examples on this site … check out some of the reviews below.
Did you get anything from this poem? Did it touch you in some way? Did any line, verse, or phrase stand out over others? How about the presentation? Were you touched emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc?
Do you have any suggestions you believe will make this piece better … what do you think of it and why? Did it encourage you to write in this style, or not, and why? One and on, a poet wants to/needs to know anything you can offer that will let him/her know how their efforts effected you, what made it worth your while reading it, or not.

[AnayaJ.]

Wonderfully expressed! Personally loved 'As if we, you and I, were merely written with air'. Amazing

[Richard🖌]

Hello, Anaya! : )
How delightfully lovely your words touch and praise an olde bard's hopeful efforts.

That you love anything about my poetry sweeps warmly through me … grateful hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Mari Baptiste]

This is so beautifully descriptive and vivid! You're very articulate and eloquent. Detailed, but not verbose. You were able to describe things without sounding obscene. Instead, you were able to describe it as passionate and firey love affair. :)

Well done, Richard! :D

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Mari,
Welcome to the Café. : )
Your lovely and meaningful review of this rather poignant piece is a nice surprise to find waiting for me.
Your praise is warmly accepted and inspiringly appreciated.
I've enjoyed your take on this poem's theme and that gracious compliment, too … you're why I truly enjoy sharing my humble efforts.

Hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air."

I think this is my favourite of yours, Richard, after that French Kyrielle! The words you chose to portray the emotions really touch the heart (at least mine lol) and it does feel relatable too...
Beautiful read! (:

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Lady Yumna! : )
How wonderful to see you today, and to receive such an appreciative glow of heart touching emotion … now, I'm assured my words have connected deep within you.
The premiere lines you've chosen have spoken your understanding of this rather poignant piece of tender despair … and, how beautifully rewarding this is to an olde bar's hopeful efforts.

Thank you sincerely, too, Dear Yumna, for that warmly gratifying compliment … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome, Richard! A pleasure always reading your pieces (:

[Susan 🦋]

ok, it's still early morning.. and I've been hesitant to review this piece, been "ignoring it" for days...ok here it goes.Free verse and technique I'm sure, is spot on. general theme...you're killing me! :-p Overall feeling?...ouch ouch and more ouch! Forgotten love?.oh the pain! sweet loving memories and a question in regards to what and who is remembered.Hard to believe such things can be written in the air...and just blown away. Why and was 'it" ever real to begin with. Why must it be this way. idk.

[Richard🖌]

Susan,
Though, I certainly appreciate and enjoy it that you've selected this piece to read and review, "killing" you was definitely not my intent. : )
That it touched you emotionally and deeply is gratifying, satisfying, and rewarding in the highest.
As to "who is remembered", it is intentionally left open, that the reader might place whomsoever in their mind and heart befits the scenario.
Yes, that which was real one day is, sadly, often gone the next, as though it might never have existed, for the little it meant to the one who left, or for all one has put into it, only to have nothing remaining (perhaps, both), and it may as well have been written with air.

Thank you, Dear Susan … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Tazeen Ahmed]

I think the way you structure it makes it more charming and lively. The picture depicts feelings written in air(I guess),the title also suggests something which doesn't have much impact. I think the overall idea is love.
I admire the vocab and I need to say, I'm drawing a lot of inspiration!
Wonderful! "shining with tears of forgiveness;"

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Tazeen,
Your thoughtful, in-depth, and insightful review truly has blessed my humble efforts to write for and ingratiate the enjoyment of my poet friends desires and needs, and you've let me know my efforts were not in vain.

Happy days to you, dear poet! ⁓ Richard : )