Written with air ... (dolor)

Written with air ... (dolor)

A Poem by Richard
"

Free Verse

"



Written with air …

There may come a time
when thoughts dissipate,
like frost that lingered
as lace on green blades;
and, like early dew,
you are no longer here,
inside my mind, my soul ...
my heart unthawed
by life's sun 
bowing  out,

in abjured encore.


Where have our moments gone,
those that called us out to dance,
to warmly embrace it all,
to revel in laughter's afterglow,
shining with tears of forgiveness;
and, what of all the gold we shared,
our hours spent
in ethereal lovemaking?


I knew you - oh so well ...
the child inside,
the woman of you, too,
and all that life called us to be,
together ~
in the spark of eternal
forevermore.


Our days and nights,
spent wrapped in splendor,
thrust together,
entwined like vines
with insatiable fingers ...
swimming your pools
of endless depth,
those verdant portals
into your soul.


It is as though ...
a mystical wand passed over us,
and like the sigh
of a baby's first breath ...
here, in soft feathered touch,

... shhh!


Gone now,

forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air.


Richard W. Jenkins
©2016


Not my best work, I know, but I needed to say something that felt real,
exactly as it crossed my heart ... I know you understand.
I didn't even stop to check for spelling ...

so very much unlike me ... LOL!
Any help is welcomed.


© 2016 Richard



Author's Note

Richard
Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

Yeah, I know, it needs something … any help will be appreciated. : )

My Review

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Featured Review

A beautiful post, full of sincere emotions that poets can express so readily.. (whether edited or not.) Your sincerity is more than apparent by some wonderful said phrases, 'Where have our moments gone, ~ those that called us out to dance, ~ to warmly embrace it all, ~ to revel in laughter's afterglow,..:

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Emma Joy,
I have always looked forward to your deeply expressive, gratifying, and .. read more



Reviews

Sir, this poem of yours is likable and well-written. You are plunged in the memory of your separated lover- you have described everything beautifully with nice comparisons. Similes- entwined like vines, when thoughts dissipate like frost that lingered as lace on green blade- very beautiful and they add to imagery.
And, a very good- though sad- ending
"Gone now,
forevermore ...
as if we, You and I,
were merely ~
Written with air."
Glad you shared the poem.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you so very much, Vatsal,
It is encouraging and pleasing to know you like this piece, a.. read more
The quote you have chosen by Leonardo Da Vinci that speaks of poetry as that which is felt seems fitting for your words as you express that this is not your best work but that it is written exactly as it crossed your heart, so I am drawn to this particular poem after reading several of your other pieces because it is the emotion that has made it reach into my spirit and grab at my heartstrings. You have captured the essence of loving another and realizing the time when they are no longer a complete part of us. The mystical wand no longer waves, days and nights are now spent alone, but still filled with the memory and essence of that person, that love, that "all of all" that once was such a vital part of you. The child that was inside this lovely being has grown up, but now gone leaving you to perhaps cry as a child.
I truly feel the heartbeat of your words as well as the tears spilled for wanting once more that which is no longer to "be".
What could possibly be added to make it better, and you indicate it needs something - I say not. It is beautiful!
O' air of the night and day
Please do not stay yet away!
Come! Softly blow cross me now.
Renew then my lover's vow
To ever be one with me.
Yes! Mine for eternity!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Dear Sheila!
It's a true rarity to receive a review nearly as deeply rewarding, gr.. read more
Sheila Kline

2 Years Ago

May I take the liberty to expand the final words I have penned in response to yours and post them as.. read more
Richard

2 Years Ago


Aye; yet, might eternity e'er pass
upon these star-crossed lad 'n lass,
nay sh.. read more
This is what happens when you master your craft. Without thought of the very things you have helped me with, you pen this. The need to let your quill and ink flow freely often produces the best pieces, and that is my only critique, it is every bit as the best of your work, besides the emotion, the content, and the flow, it is real. THAT'S what makes it amoungts your best Welcome to the dark side Richard my friend, that heart you wear on your sleeve is showing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Many grateful thanks, Bill!
After reading each reviewer's take on this one, I'm beginning to .. read more
Hey, Richard, what's missing?
I think its beautiful, the thoughts of loss alongside the joys. The whole write feels like an ache that's too deep to rub out.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

"DANG!"

Matt,
I've really gotten behind in commenting on reviews, and I see th.. read more
For me, this is an excellent work precisely because it feels real and comes from the heart. No need to apologize for that!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Roland, for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and sentiments of this simple little piece, .. read more
In our younger days, when we danced and drank and laughed, we just cant embrace any of it as
memory, not when it is so fresh in our doing of it. Sometimes my mother, after her Prilosec and
Gaviscon kicks in, will recall how her and my father would dance to the big band sounds of
Count Basie and Billie Eckstein. Then she takes her seat in front of the television to watch
"Wheel of Fortune". It's as if her memory of those events were written with air and written on air,
since air is metaphor for the medium that memory rides along. (excellent)

But this is a love poem Richard, not just a poem of intense recollection. And being a love poem
it is both universal and timeless; " as though a mystical wand passed over us" and made us speak
again, of what had happened. Beautifully written...dana

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Gosh, Dana!
From the beautiful composition of your words, alone, you've bade me sigh with a d.. read more
a good poem leaves heart blood on the page, as this, and lays a blessing on us, as this...what else do we really have to share than what we love and what loves us, now or then...a sweet sadness here...thank you

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Ed!
It is such a pleasure to receive your presence on my pages, as-well, your word.. read more
This is how I usually write Richard. I just start putting my feelings into words and let the poetry fall like a snow flake condensing from atmosphere within my being in the moment.
Personally, I found the poetry highly intuitive and universally expressive.
I think many readers will respond well to this very lovely write. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Gosh, David!
You are most welcome, My Friend, and I most gratefully thank you.
How on .. read more
 David Scott

2 Years Ago

Never worry. The reviews are simply a thank you for experiencing your poetry. I'm not sure I'm in yo.. read more
Richard

2 Years Ago

Ya know, David?
You could be right! ; )
I guess it is your natural talent shining through. I found the spelling and punctuation to be fine. And even thou you claim it is not your best. Your worst is generally far above the maddening crowd of writers.

This was a lovely piece on love and the one you hold close. Well done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Dear Willard,
What a thoughtful and skilled review you've bestowed upon this doleful, heartre.. read more
Willard Wells

2 Years Ago

Your work is always a pleasure to read.
Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Willard. : )

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Added on January 25, 2016
Last Updated on April 13, 2016

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Richard
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