One Beam! (fulfillment)

Unmetered Quatrains

One Beam!

Lovely is the night,
a high, bright Lover’s Moon,
wondering with all my might,
“Will we be meeting soon?”

Although, we’ve never met …
still, I find I’m missing you;
so terrified we won’t, when, yet,
each other’s arms we rush into.

Like fingers of ribbon wrapped around
a ghostly, vaporous dream,
we fell in love with hearts profound,
from stars above held in ~ one beam!


Richard W. Jenkins
©2016




Runner~Up

in
"Emily’s Poetry Challenge"
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Use-These-Words%21/52836/  
Use These Words To Write A Poem

Lovely
Missing
Rush
Fell
Terrified
Ghostly
Ribbon

Author's Note

Artwork, compliments of Wikimedia Commons.

Though, composing from word prompts are not particularly easy to make flow and feel natural, it is great practice for variety and creativity, and I hope you've enjoyed my humble little effort.

Please, give all the constructive advice and critique you believe will help better this piece! : )

Reviews

[Calamityofgin]

This is lovely...i especially love the first verse...and the question at the end...
I love the quatrain as a literary device...it's origins ancient and so important to language and history ...period..
When people wrote when the vast majority were illiterate. It is no wonder it was so popular during the dark ages...Rubai....Nostradamus...those are so intriguing....and then when in iambic pentameter...just a language of it's own....

I am Queen Rambelon...excuse me. Lol but this was very pretty....had a "She walks in beauty....feel to it...and i dig the idea of missing someone you have not met. Thanks for this!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Lady-Poet!
The beauty and appreciation of your entreating words is exceeded only by your lovely face, sweet grace, and the heart that released them unto my own.
Your fetching discourse in poetic history gifts assurance my efforts have been enjoyed, deeply observed, and considered … yours, a blissful language all its own.
You are, indeed, a Majestic "Queen", and I love how you ramble-on when directing your attention to me.
I dearly love your take on my little effort in answering the challenge … um!
A hug 'n a soft kiss to your splendid self! ⁓ Richard

[Calamityofgin]

Oh my...I am thrilled by your response...and return your sweet kiss in

Awe...thrilled it made you happy..and return your sweet kiss with kind parted pout...🌹

[Richard🖌]

Mm … your words alone are a kiss⁓*

[Nisreen]

A match made in heaven
Guided by the stars and the moon
And how this walk those two take
To reach one another
It's really quite an elegant piece of art

Well done Richard

[Crimson_ish]

I just love the vibrant colors your poems possess. There's this radiant and vibrant color of life, of longing, of hope, of mystic, they all merge so wonderfully and create a wandering, celestial beam. I love the title, it sets the mood and theme so well, a thin, ghostly, tempting, beseeching, sparkle of light that creates a path, a beautiful stone bridge between the empirical aspiration, the reverent dream and your unconscious need of seeing that person. The sense of touching that ghostly, thin, misting mental picture of that person, the delicious time spent in wonderment, forever searching senses. I so adore the fingers of ribbon, the soft, tender touch it produces, the slipping notion it creates, and lastly the beauty it reflects. I've always admired the way you curved nature and emotions together to form an infinite movement of heart, of veins, of soul. I love this poem, thank you for such a beautiful night! I always love starting my day here with your poem, Richard! :) It's always the wait, a wait for them, it's the sweetest and the most painful moment, isn't it?

[Strawberry Evil]

Excellent! You grabbed those words given to you and perfectly made them fit in. This has a lot of feelings too, and for some reason it made me feel a little lonely... Not in a bad way tho! But I love poems that make me experience different feelings, loneliness among them! So I enjoyed reading this, like I do with all of your poems. Well done, once again.
- Strawberry

[Ruth]

Smiles...intoxicating is one word for your writing...dazzling is another and magnificent sums my thoughts up...beautiful! :)

[Richard🖌]

Goodnes, Poppy!
With such warm, lavish breath enveloping my senses, who could blame me for this thrumming surge all through!
For every nuance and sensation derived from every word you've gifted this gentle poem, I equally gift to you in gracious thanks, Dear Poetess … my warmest embrace to thee! ⁓ Richard

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Wonderful! You have done a splendid job with words given...wouldn't have even known!

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Sweet Claire!
It is wondrously nice to have your lovely visit today. : )
Though, brief, I feel the joy and appreciation dancing in your welcomed words.
Thank you, Dear Lady … you're so very special! ⁓ Richard

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Congratulations! :)

[Richard🖌]

Thanks … to You, too!

[Matching Socks]

That last line is just stunning!
Well done Richard. A very strong contribution to this challenge.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you so much, Ana! : )
Your comments, praise, and inferred enjoyment of this little piece feels like a warming embrace.
Happy hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Matching Socks]

Well then happy hugs back at ya. :)