The River, the Clouds, and Us.... (longing)

The River, the Clouds, and Us.... (longing)

A Poem by Richard
"

Free Verse

"
The River, the Clouds, and Us....
I found a place to sit in solitude,
hoping to hear
what the moment held.

I listened....
imagining stories the river could tell
of its journeys through canyons,
how it overcame every obstacle
life, time, and Nature had set before it,
either going over, around, or under it
to flow right here to be with me.

Somewhere along the way …
my focus changed
as I watched the gray clouds building,
bullying the white ones into submission,
their thunderous voices rising....
until it's clear who the victor would be.

I sat in rain for hours,
thinking about how much
you are like those clouds at times,
angry, petulant....
ready to dampen everything
at the slightest provocation;

then, there's me … I'm like the river,
soaking you in, feeding on you,
determined to face any challenge
to get back to the sea....

where summer sun will heat me,
and I’ll rise up into your arms
until you tire of me again,
letting me fall back to earth.... 
the way you always do.



Richard W. Jenkins
           ©
2016

© 2017 Richard



Author's Note

Richard
Picture: compliments of Wikimedia Commons.

Something set me into a wispy, dreamlike, drifting-off mood.

Please, feel free to offer critique, or anything you feel will help improve this piece! : )

My Review

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Featured Review

I love the cloudy images -- that stanza in particular is striking. The feeling of falling in love with a moody person, and the speaker is the calm anchor ...

one minor thing, I am sure it is just a typo or pesky auto-correct, but its journey does not require an apostrophe, unless there is something in that sentence I am missing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

That you've again blessed one of my pieces, KL … how very happy this makes me feel!
Then, t.. read more



Reviews

'where summer sun will heat me,
and I’ll rise up into your arms
until you tire of me again,
letting me fall back to earth....
the way you always do. '

How many people have tried to say those words, tried to admit the emotions they wrap around, I wonder..

We little human beings are but ants in a world of love, hate and... something indefinable . Of course to each his or her own choice! Consequently, love's differences, passion's moods are surely reflections of our surroudings. You become the the gentle flow, your lover its curving course.

You take so much care with your work, Richard: display just so, punctuation dotted and dashed.. and then, there are the words set to your own music. Think this is a poem to return to, as much as a lesson as ...

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emmajoy

1 Year Ago

For me reviews are a thank you for the pleasure of reading someone's WORK. And, if only a few word.. read more
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emmajoy

1 Year Ago

Think I'll wear this avatar for a while, it suits my sunshine mood. It was created by a superb illu.. read more
I think "drifting-off mood" fits very well. I don't know why you chose this format, it was interesting to read yet also a tiny bit difficult to stay with the flow I found once but here & there lost a little.. Other than that, the images of nature and your choice of words for this one as good as in the other pieces I read by you. You'd definitely alternate between the different poetry styles, it's refreshing to read and you're talented at expressing yourself differently yet nicely.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Closed

1 Year Ago

I can see that... It's interesting now lol but honestly way too challenging to read. Ever thought ab.. read more
Richard

1 Year Ago

Ha-hah!
I guess I'm just too complicated in my written thoughts, feelings, and emotions to ex.. read more
Closed

1 Year Ago

Thank you and you're welcome.
Beautiful thought and execution.
this piece puts us in a thought....
Claps are inevitable for this

Posted 1 Year Ago


Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Dear Poetess! : )
Iam ever-so grateful for your effulgently lovely review to this .. read more
wander girl

1 Year Ago

You're such an inspiration for young poets like me. Keep writing and I am obliged by your words. Hug.. read more
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This is lovely, Richard.
Beautiful. It flows with a gentle melancholy all its own...a wistful longing.
I love this stanza:
I watched the gray clouds building,
bullying the white ones into submission,
their thunderous voices rising....
until it was clear who the victor would be.

Just beautiful.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Dear Pam!
I am so happy you came across this unusually metaphorical little number,.. read more
This was really nice. The note you wrote about a dreamlike, drifting-off mood is something I can relate to. Love the poem.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Well, thank you, Ma'am!
It is my joy to please you and my reward to receive your inspiring wo.. read more
this is pretty darn good, enjoyed this write

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Hi, Kelcee! : )
Thank you, Dear Lady-Poet, for visiting my pages and for finding favor in an.. read more
say goodnight Gracie

1 Year Ago

thanx, have you a good day
Richard

1 Year Ago

You, too, Kelcee! : )
Well,probably not one I should have read today when already feeling down..cause once again your writing is speaking to me. So many things I can relate to...but rather not mention on a public forum. But that emotional pull..is exhausting and painful. perfectly expressed in this piece.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Aw, don't give-up, Susan!
We both know life can often a way of evening out, if we can be pati.. read more
Nature is so poetic in its own right. The imagery is splendid in this poem. Combining the river and the clouds as a representation of relational interactions is unique. Your words inspire me.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you warmly, Brianna! : )

T'would seem we've again connected in deeply meaningf.. read more
Nice way to do comparisons, when I look at the sky, its changing colors and beauty I see God's canvas laid out for all of us to see. Valentine

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Hi, Dear Kathie! : )
Thank you so very much for the nice compliment, and for sharing your lo.. read more
I can't explain anything in detail, coz I'm new to writing poems that are just...let's say, perfect. I can just say that it was stupendous.
I loved the way you beautifully expressed what many people are obsessed by, when that dreamlike, drifting-off mood strikes them.
Lovely poem. Hope you help me too in pointing out the errors in mine. You're a wonderful poet :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Dear Yashita,
Welcome to my pages … I an thrilled you meandering along to find t.. read more

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Added on June 29, 2016
Last Updated on June 5, 2017

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Richard
Richard

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