The River, the Clouds, and Us.... (longing)

The River, the Clouds, and Us.... (longing)

A Poem by Richard
"

Free Verse

"
The River, the Clouds, and Us....
I found a place to sit in solitude,
hoping to hear
what the moment held.

I listened....
imagining stories the river could tell
of its journeys through canyons,
how it overcame every obstacle
life, time, and Nature had set before it,
either going over, around, or under it
to flow right here to be with me.

Somewhere along the way …
my focus changed
as I watched the gray clouds building,
bullying the white ones into submission,
their thunderous voices rising....
until it's clear who the victor would be.

I sat in rain for hours,
thinking about how much
you are like those clouds at times,
angry, petulant....
ready to dampen everything
at the slightest provocation;

then, there's me … I'm like the river,
soaking you in, feeding on you,
determined to face any challenge
to get back to the sea....

where summer sun will heat me,
and I’ll rise up into your arms
until you tire of me again,
letting me fall back to earth.... 
the way you always do.



Richard W. Jenkins
           ©
2016

© 2017 Richard



Author's Note

Richard
Picture: compliments of Wikimedia Commons.

Something set me into a wispy, dreamlike, drifting-off mood.

Please, feel free to offer critique, or anything you feel will help improve this piece! : )

My Review

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Featured Review

I love the cloudy images -- that stanza in particular is striking. The feeling of falling in love with a moody person, and the speaker is the calm anchor ...

one minor thing, I am sure it is just a typo or pesky auto-correct, but its journey does not require an apostrophe, unless there is something in that sentence I am missing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

That you've again blessed one of my pieces, KL … how very happy this makes me feel!
Then, t.. read more



Reviews

Nice experience.

Going to digress for a moment,

Your Writing is often more then just writing.
Akin to food in a restaurant.

I'll compare the Pictures you add to the pleasant A.C cooling the place.
I'll compare the Fonts you pick to the kind, hospitable and easy on the eyes waitress,
And the little difference of the gray background, making the writing feel special, I'll compare it to a bright neon sign, filling you with hope as you pat your empty belly.

AHEM,

Good poem. I liked the image of the Clouds bullying another cloud. Very powerful, very thoughtful. Very original.

The rest of it is equally satisfying, the last bit is on the spot.
Great job.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Dear Poet, with a friendly welcome to my pages! : )

Most gratefully and ap.. read more
Nice poesy! It had an amazing, storytelling, cozy feel to it. The first stanza was engaging, and everything else held me in accord.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Hi, Cypian! : )
Welcome to my pages, Poet!
Many grateful thanks to you for selecting .. read more
Cyprian Van Dyke

2 Years Ago

Hi, Richard! :)
Thank you for the welcome.
You're most welcome for the comment!
.. read more
I really like how you've worded this, it would seem that you that you gave a natural talent for this kinda thing.

Only one thing though, i think the line "Somwhere along the way...my focus changed" would be better off without the elipses. I just thing it disturbed the rythm a tiny bit. This is beautiful though, thanks for posting.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Hyacinth!
It is with great humbleness and gratification I read and receive your wo.. read more
Hyacinth

2 Years Ago

No need to thank me, Richard. I just strongly believe in telling the truth and offering praise when .. read more
The beautiful rise and fall along the cycle of nature here is breathtaking. Reminds me of a soul as fragile as a seed and yet as strong as the rain that delivers emotion. Sigh...beautiful :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Oh-MY, Ruth!
The beauty and depth of your wondrous words eclipse my humble little efforts, an.. read more
oh my goodness ..you wrote this just for me!!! i just know it .. stunning ...simple language ..packed with ignited feelings and with vivid scenes ..really like the connection to the cycles of water ..one of my favorite things ..besides trees and forests ;)
KL told me you are the go to man for classic poetry so i am here reading and have subscribed to you ... in hopes of expanding my experience ... of course this your most recent is free verse ;) well done says i! enjoyed reading very much
E.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Hah, you scoundrel … I've caught you!

E, you've been sneaking around in my head, pe.. read more
Einstein Noodle

2 Years Ago

you are welcome ..and thank you for being here! :) reading and attempting to write classics in diffe.. read more
Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, E,
With great humility, My Friend, you're welcome to whatever i might have to offe.. read more
Super! :)
What else can I offer.
You've described the vicious circle of a passionate and sometimes stormy relationship so wonderfully.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Ana, for your wonderful compliment! : )
You have the sweetest and most warming wa.. read more
Ana Papaya

2 Years Ago

And to you as well Richard. :)
I love and relate to the visuals and tones, painting with words. It installs peace in me, even without the love story it also tells. Thank you for a beautifully written poem where I could travel with you.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Here, let me make room for you beside me, Marianne!
I was afraid i might have to travel alone.. read more
Marianne Rose

2 Years Ago

Ah, to sit beside you, in one held moment, drifting and writing . . . Instead here am I, amidst the .. read more
I enjoyed this work a great deal, the imagery and metaphors were done to perfection. Beautifully done, it even added a little extra tranquility to the moment. Thank you.


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Dear Willard,
I could not be more happy to receive your review for this piece, for it reflect.. read more
I love the line "I'm like the river" very powerful message of relaxing into becoming one with nature dear such beautiful write my dear Richard.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

Raylene,
You've endowed this piece of poetry with a special glow of clarity and life-force it.. read more
Raylene

2 Years Ago

Anytime dear
I love the cloudy images -- that stanza in particular is striking. The feeling of falling in love with a moody person, and the speaker is the calm anchor ...

one minor thing, I am sure it is just a typo or pesky auto-correct, but its journey does not require an apostrophe, unless there is something in that sentence I am missing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Richard

2 Years Ago

That you've again blessed one of my pieces, KL … how very happy this makes me feel!
Then, t.. read more

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Added on June 29, 2016
Last Updated on June 5, 2017

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