when You take the New Roads (go, Thee, with great care)

when You take the New Roads (go, Thee, with great care)

A Poem by Richard
"

English Sonnet Doublet (while teaching KLGoode [Len Anderson] the Sonnet, it got me in the mood to write one)

"



when You take the New Roads


Upon that day You take the new roads there,
be ever mindful of the ways You choose;
remember, too, the ones You leave still care,
that all their hearts and souls ~ you'll never lose.

The road ahead may seem a brighter way,
the visions far … You feel a longing lure,
and everywhere You look … a bright, new day;
then, looking back you'll see naught but a blur.

A sort of wavy imagery that fades,
of faces you once knew that smile no more ...
where colours once, now grey and shadowed shades,
as memory becomes a closing door.

Yet, so much more (unknown) is calling now,
and all you've known seems useless now somehow.





We'll miss your tender love and gentle hand,
that always knew the touch and words to say,
Whenever’s needed your sweet, special brand
to warm cold dark and sweep the clouds away.

With You, be sure to take all that you'll need;
You know, those little things that were the best ...
like poems, love, and promises decreed,
each tender heartbeat made within our breasts.


Aye, heed the road ahead … its luring call;
and, tarry not lest roads ahead fade, too.
As all you leave here far behind grows small,
remember, Dear  ~ I'll always wait for You.


Tho, those new roads may take You far away,
you’ll always be my first breath ~ every day.



Richard W. Jenkins
©2016


© 2017 Richard



Author's Note

Richard
Top painting: Watercolor, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Landscape oil painting: by Carl Milton-Jensen (1855-1928) Danish artist

Please, feel free to offer critique or comment on anything you feel will help better my skills! : )

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Featured Review

This poem fills me with emotional ambivalence, a warning within an invitation within a wistful imagining of doors closing and paths opening. I walk forward on the new path with you, looking back to see the fading memories, sad and grieving, then filled with expectation of something new, a roller coaster of emotions. Another warning to take everything I need fills me with anxiety- will I forget something important? More gentle fluttering of anxiety- will I be caught between the past and the future- if I do not hurry, the road ahead will fade just like the road behind did. The anxiety is hidden behind beautiful words, barely felt, but it is there, prodding me forward. Confusion- how can you wait for me as I travel far away, the road behind fading? Maybe it is in the heart you wait, beyond the path, beyond time and space. The last line is piercing to the heart- that she will always be your first breath, everyday. Such joy mingled with loss there. A beautiful poem, with all the paradoxical emotions love brings us. Thank you, Richard. I don't really feel qualified to critique the form, novice that I am. I can only say that there are places that old-fashioned words feel slightly out of place, because the whole of the poem does not read like a classical poem, like Shakespeare, but like a poem that is written in our current language. (Words like aye, naught, tarry not) But that's just my opinion based on how the words seemed to lessen the emotional impact for me. Beautiful work, my friend.

Posted 1 Year Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Goodness, Marianne!
How I ever missed your amazingly beautiful and rewarding review for this .. read more



Reviews

Anyone can relate to this one; whether, they ended a relationship purposefully or because of slow neglectful time. Caring about people comes with a price. Life usually forces us to part ways with hundreds of people. Everyone that crosses our paths plays some type of importance in our lives good or bad. Impressed with your accomplished style. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Hi, Brianna! : )
It is quite wonderful to receive such keen words of deep, awakened understa.. read more
Wow, reading this brought on severe nostalgia for me. As I'm nearing middle age, I'm starting to look back on all the roads I've taken and left behind; so many memories of so many events, milestones, and people. Life is a journey, and for every new road you take, you leave an old one behind and everything changes- forever.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Carrie Ann,
I most warmly and appreciatively thank for sharing your personal feelings and sen.. read more
In my humble opinion, I think it is a lovely write. I loved it so much I reread it three times. :) I think you nailed the description of how the one feels who is being left behind and how he/she is explaining to the one leaving how things will be; the feelings of both, the one being left behind and the one leaving. Hope that makes sense, as I am quite tired at the moment. I especially loved the last six lines because of the undying devotion they show. I find the last line particularly lovely. :) Hope you are doing well. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Oh-MY, Susan! : )
How thrilling it is to receive such a deeply understanding review for one m.. read more
SJ Mullins

1 Year Ago

It is a wonderful read. My pleasure. xx
This piece really doesn't suit my particular taste, but nevertheless, I can appreciate the skill it took to make it. Iambic pentameter has never been my strong suit...I've tried it...it never comes out sounding right.

Anyways, I enjoyed the first half of this poem. It was like I was reading a 'shadow' (if that makes sense) of so many emotions commingled into one poem. It had a bittersweet feel to it, as if there were feelings of wonder, care, and love along with longing, despair, doubt, which is especially emphasized in the third stanza where the imagery starts feeling dream-like. I loved that stanza; it captured a sort of sadness reminiscent of that moment when we reflect on our lives...and moments of the past start to seep in...and we realize that life's never going to be the same. It's not the deep sorrow that one would feel, if say, a close relative died, but rather, it's that feeling you've expressed as "A sort of wavy imagery that fades," where the past only seems to exist as an evanescent dream.

The last two lines of the first sonnet gave me chills; it really contrasted with the first two stanzas where you were wishing the person "good luck" and "happy travels." It kinda made me feel like the speaker in this poem is masking his/her true feelings because the line "and all you've known seems useless now somehow" really doesn't convey the same "happy travels" message that's apparent in the first two stanzas, and the fact that the speaker said it right after the somewhat sorrowful third stanza...it kinda adds tension to this piece (as I have interpreted it).

The only thing I can critique about the first sonnet is S2L4. It didn't read smoothly to me. I kinda felt it stumble at the word 'naught;' I wanted to stress that word. I then read it unstressed, and it still sounded awkward to me. I would've worded it 'then looking back you'll only see a blur.'

It's the second sonnet that makes me say "This piece really doesn't suit my particular taste." As I've already stated, I noticed a change of tone in this piece from "happy travels" to a masked feeling of frustration that someone is leaving. The second sonnet just seems to go right back to the "happy travels" feeling, as if the speaker never uttered the second and fourth stanzas of the first sonnet. As I've interpreted this piece, it just feels awkward, or in other words, the poems don't seem to harmonize with one another. They share the same topic, but as far as the mood is concerned, the poems don't seem to compliment each other. Perhaps I've read it wrong, or I don't fully understand this form (if you think so, please tell me), but if I were you, I'd just make them into two separate poems. Sorry if this sounded a little rude...that certainly wasn't my intention.

-William Liston


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

William,
I am completely aware how many will read a work and come away with differing views a.. read more
An enjoyable read... and I loved the pictures too!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

" Thanks! "
Richard

1 Year Ago

It's nice to know you enjoyed them, Tomás … blessings, My Friend! ⁓ RJ
what a beautiful dedication to KL, there seems to be a running theme that KL is departing on a journey and that she'll be missed, are you going somewhere KL?

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Hm?
I guess I should have simply said working with her Sonnet inspired me to write one, as th.. read more
Corset

1 Year Ago

Oh good news, Thank you :)
This poem fills me with emotional ambivalence, a warning within an invitation within a wistful imagining of doors closing and paths opening. I walk forward on the new path with you, looking back to see the fading memories, sad and grieving, then filled with expectation of something new, a roller coaster of emotions. Another warning to take everything I need fills me with anxiety- will I forget something important? More gentle fluttering of anxiety- will I be caught between the past and the future- if I do not hurry, the road ahead will fade just like the road behind did. The anxiety is hidden behind beautiful words, barely felt, but it is there, prodding me forward. Confusion- how can you wait for me as I travel far away, the road behind fading? Maybe it is in the heart you wait, beyond the path, beyond time and space. The last line is piercing to the heart- that she will always be your first breath, everyday. Such joy mingled with loss there. A beautiful poem, with all the paradoxical emotions love brings us. Thank you, Richard. I don't really feel qualified to critique the form, novice that I am. I can only say that there are places that old-fashioned words feel slightly out of place, because the whole of the poem does not read like a classical poem, like Shakespeare, but like a poem that is written in our current language. (Words like aye, naught, tarry not) But that's just my opinion based on how the words seemed to lessen the emotional impact for me. Beautiful work, my friend.

Posted 1 Year Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Goodness, Marianne!
How I ever missed your amazingly beautiful and rewarding review for this .. read more
I love the palpable sadness of this piece, though I feel guilty -- minor edits -- that pesky quotation thing the cafe' does, and an its that is possessive possessing an apostrophe.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Thanks a zillion, KL, for having my back.
I've done that "it's" thing a couple of times latel.. read more
Richard

1 Year Ago

Oh, and I sincerely wanted to let you know that not all my Sonnets are about mushy love, sensual hea.. read more
There really is a touch of past phrasing running throughout this poem, you've followed 'sonnet' lines and form with apparent ease.

There's such gentle but beautiful sadness (pathos, if you like), in the following; so often today's poets (like myself) shun form, afraid it will appear stilted. You have not:

We'll miss your tender love and gentle hand, - that always knew the touch and words to say, - Whenever’s needed your sweet, special brand - to warm cold dark and sweep the clouds away.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Richard

1 Year Ago

Hi, Em! : )

I've so missed you, your knowing and understandings, your keen, gentle t.. read more

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Added on July 11, 2016
Last Updated on August 17, 2017

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From darkness I come to darkness I return, my life's a mere a spark in the night. "MY BLOGS" (click on Blog in the menu above).............................. 1) Reciting Vs Silent Reading 2) On Fr.. more..

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