Out in our Sun (tender tragedy)

Swap Quatrain (when one's soulmate dies)

Out in our Sun
……………………………………………🌞 ……………………………………………

When I was young, I used to dance;
my feet would skip around and prance,
There was no song remained unsung ...
I used to dance when I was young.

When I was kissed, my young heart soared;
the girls and flowers I adored.
I'd shy away, but they'd insist ...
my young heart soared, when I was kissed.

There came one day, a special one;
eyes forest green and hair like sun.
We ran and laughed, in joy we'd play ...
a special one, there came one day.

We fell in-love, never apart;
we lived it all with loyal heart,
with all our days blessed from above ...
never apart, we fell in-love.

So sweet it went throughout those years,
all our eyes shed were loving tears.
We spoke and planned in moments spent ...
throughout those years, so sweet it went.

We'd found our way; though, in the sun
our love  grew strong since it begun,
there came a cold hand one dark day ...
though, in the sun we'd found our way.

Clouds drifted-in and you were gone;
ohh, I don't think I can go on!
Prayed high to stars, called out again ...
and You were gone; clouds drifted-in.

The wind, it blows a quiet refrain:
my heart, in tears, calls out your name,
and everywhere your mem'ry glows ...
a quiet refrain, the wind it blows.

Out in our sun, still loving You;
ne'er shall there be a love more true,
nor ever can it be undone ...
still loving You ~ out in our sun.

……………………………………………🌞 ……………………………………………
Richard W. Jenkins

©2016

Author's Note

Painting: "Magia of the Heart" … acrylic on panel by Andrew Gonzalez

Constructive critique and helpful comments are always welcome! : )

Reviews

[lightsong]

a tale of love, of life, of life lived until the first touch of real love over that young heart, of what and how life has made him until he met her, and how life and love has made him with her, and without her... ever the same, in the most tender way of flow, words and emotions, (tender tragedy) is the perfect description to this deeply soft wistful poem, and the form just adding more gentle yearning, more sweet tenderness, like a gentle slow long wave, takes us over the blue ocean in a journey shared with You.

yet another beauty from Your ever gentle creative pen, a composer of the truest of emotions and feelings.

[Richard🖌]

Goodness, GH!
No one interprets my poetry with the depth and clear imagery of vividness you do, and to my mind-eye, it would appear that we buy our ink at the same writing store. : )
To realize my humble efforts inspire such praise and appreciation from a poetess of your caliber is inspiring and encouraging, indeed.

I cannot thank you enough for your sweet tenderness … warmest hugs of gracious thanks to you, dear lady-poet! ⁓ Richard : )

[Ardra]

Clouds drifted-in and you were gone;
ohh, I don't think I can go on!
Prayed high to stars, called out again ...
and You were gone; clouds drifted-in.

these lines kind of hit home ..

its the pain of loosing , the separation and knowing maybe once more we would have love a little more..spend little more time...

You write with so much emotions, the reader feels it too within them..the pain..the separation...

[Richard🖌]

Oh, thank you, Dear Ria!
Your words of understanding the core essence of this piece, your tender empathy, and the obvious embrace of your gentle heart all come together and make sharing this humble effort feel so worthwhile and rewarding.

Thank you, Lovely Poetess … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[Carol Cashes]

This tells the love story, from beginning to sad pause. I use "pause" as the one left behind still loves and so the story is not over.

I enjoyed the Swap Quatrain format, and it displays your skill yet again in yet another form of poetry.

*bowing and backing away slowly*

[Richard🖌]

How keen of you Dear Carol, to realize it is but a poetic tale of true lovers and their poignant demise … representative of so many, perhaps, even you and I have known such moments of incomparable pain we could compose many poems of, eh?
Yes, a pause, for we know our story is not yet over.
if you were to ever desire writing in this form, it would be my most sincere pleasure to teach it to you, if you don't already know it, or to help in any way, your skills are so intact and dancing to emerge, already. : )

The imagery of you *bowing and backing away slowly* is so vividly expressed it is palpable … hugs of warmest thanks, Carol! ⁓ Richard

[GreenShoes]

This brought tears to my eyes.

Poems driven by emotion are some of the best poems.

[Richard🖌]

Aw, so sorry to make you cry, M'Dear. :'/
I sincerely agree, Lady Karen; especially, when read by one with so deep-feeling a heart as you have.

Warmest, most grateful hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So classic, lyrical and eloquent! I so admire the beautiful style, rhyme, meter and Bard-like perfection of this poem. True love transcends all. Repetition of "nor ever can it be undone", so poignant and heartfelt, - Brilliant work!

[Richard🖌]

My, Annette!
What a gorgeous review you've gifted this rather deeply touching little effort … so free-hearted, generous, thoughtful, encouraging, gracious; you're a first class lady.
You really are more appreciated than my meager words can adequately express, Annette … with warmest, most grateful hugs! ⁓ Richard

(repeat all sorted … thanks to your keen eye, you're a lovely star) 🌟

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Mutual admiration society here?? I think so..! Thank you from the heart :)

[Richard🖌]

Without a doubt* ; )

[J. J. Nightingale]

A little tough to get through
without tears...
Some one ask how I get through my days, without My Love, I say.. I still have My Love .. in bright and gloomy
days, in endings, and beginnings, I have My love..
Forever..

Nice... ♥♥

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Jasmine*
Your words in warm and thoughtful praise and gentle emotion, touch my heart and bless me with true encouragement and gratification for the earnest effort to write and share, in hopes of my poetess and poet friends' pleasure and fulfillment.
Alas, all too often all we have are sweet memories to carry us through … though, how delight it sometimes is to find an online lover to share with, too.

Your touch is ever-so warm and fulfilling — thank you again, M'Lovely lady … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome kind Sir....♥

[V]

First now I feel a tad guilty and feeling like giving back looking back at the gorgeous review you left on my page- hey at least I'm honest ;), second I love your status quote too, and third this piece is shining even though sad by the end, it's beam doesn't fade. Lovely rhyme scheme, very enjoyable to read.
And the title; very well chosen, simple but so highly expressive and image evoking. A little piece of poetic magic.

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Vanessa!
Glad to obligate you … wink*
Well, to be honest, too, I cannot imagine what more a hopeful bard could want than to receive these beautifully effulgent words of expressed appreciation, enjoyment, and praise from such an accomplished poetess, for one of my humble little pieces … smiles all over!
The "lovely rhyme scheme" is that of a Swap Quatrain (if you'd like to write your own).
As enthralled as I am by your lovely attention, M'Dear, it is a bit surprising the queen of Free Verse did not choose the Free Verse poem directly following this one: "The River, the Clouds, and Us".

Well, you've got my heart dancing for the rest of the day … thanks ever-so warmly and sincerely, Vanessa! ⁓ Richard : )

[V]

Oh how could I overlook this poem? ;) I'll certainly have a look at it. You're welcome.

[Richard🖌]

Big thumbs-up!

[Relic]

It's always a pleasure to read someone who knows his poetry.

Excellent writing Richard. :)

[Richard🖌]

Thank you sincerely for your expressed appreciation and praise.

Happy holidays, with new year's blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Kelly Scheppers]

...such beautiful form, Richard...and the painting compliments it with the awe of a thousand words!

[Richard🖌]

So much said, Kelly … we do speak in such sweet silence, eh?
Happy Hols 'n New Year with ya, M'Lady … warmest hugs! ⁓ Richard ; )

[emmajoy]

So many emotions ripple your words from youth to later life and at each stroke of thought, you paint a picture of yourself and how life brought you pleasures...

Then comes that love, that glorious love... and far too soon, the pain of loss. Yet, that sadness, that tragedy, births such beautiful verses, such reality, such depth. Love at its best is the sun and moon, at its worst is their reflection ever more.. somehow.

Now have to find tissues, Richard.

[Richard🖌]

Dear Em,
I thank you most warmly, gratefully, and appreciatively for your lovely pearls of deeply-expressed and meaningful words in tenderhearted understanding and praise for this poetic homage to a tragic rending of wondrous love.

I think you must know of such emotion … hugs to you! ⁓ Richard