Love Gave Me Sight ... (soul breaths)

Sestets in 9-count lines of ababab, cdcdcd, etc; rhyme-scheme.

   

  

Love Gave Me Sight …

Thinking I was such a special man …

ne’er I'd had a single clear insight;

’til, as ocean’s wide majestic span

her love ~ made me see one summer's night.

'Neath waxed moon, she formed a newborn plan …

my lonely soul, gifted wings for flight!

Memories poured from within my heart …

deepest, darkest cleansings taking place.

Her love made me ache for a fresh start;

all pain, swept aside through tender grace.

Olde love notions soon would fall apart

to vapors ~ vanished, with ne’er a trace.

New love made me gleam like spark'ling gold,

melting and re-forming then as stars,

from the heavens shining where they’ve told,

how love lasers all deep, jagged scars.

Splendored rays of passion’s heat … Behold!

Tomes of gold inscribing new memoirs!

Wrapped in aural flows, two now reborn,

as though fate, itself, embraced each soul …

every fibre of their beings torn,

rent from moorings, once again made whole.

She and me, love made ne’er more forlorn;

to each soul, renewed all life had stole.

Sunrise-glimmers dance off rippling rills,

across life’s pond's joyous revelry …

by each warbling mockingbird’s bright trills,

sung each hearts’ effulgent melody.

As sweep Nature’s verdant views, yon hills …

through new eyes ~ it’s Her, love's made me see.

Richard W. Jenkins

           ©2017

Author's Note

Painting: Love of Souls, by Andrew Gonzalez, acrylics on clayboard.

Please, feel free to leave helpful critique,
or anything you believe will help better my craft! : )

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a lovely poem ... a gorgeous tribute to love. The second to last stanza is my favourite -- the passion and the rebirth of two as one.
Indulge me for a bit -- free from moorings as opposed to rent? just saying ...
Also, is there a reason for Nature and Her to be capitalised? Is it to emphasize the comparison between the force of Nature and the object of the speaker's affection?

[Richard🖌]

(the site ate my first response)

Thank you, Dear Lyn,
You gentle graciousness is welcome blessing to an olde bard's soul.
I can certainly see why you so favor the penultimate verse, as it is, also, one of mine.
"Rent from moorings" is to emphasize freedom from the previous line, where their being had been so deeply torn and moored, now ripped away and once again made whole, to never again be made forlorn by the tragedies of life, and "Her" is what it's all about.
When you capitalize such words as "Nature", you make it a proper noun, no longer with common attributes or characteristics, as are the seasons capitalized when used as proper nouns.
I like your interpretation of Nature the best. : )

Thank you ever-so warmly and appreciatively for such a lovely review, Lyn … hugs! ⁓ Richard

[Lyn Anderson]

I try to come across as I am. And yes, that makes sense. It just seems to me that having used torn in the line above that free would work below. But I do understand the intent of the line. And yes, I feel that my interpretation of Nature works best with the poem.:)

[Richard🖌]

They were torn beings, rent (ripped) from their moorings to finally be made whole.
To me, this is simple and easily understood, even if I did not write it, but I realize some rad and perceive differently than others, despite my intent; maybe, even because of it … LOL!

[Jade]

This is such a lovely poetic read, really enjoyed this write. Very nicely written

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Brandie✨
I am so very honored and rewarded by your expressed enjoyment and appreciation for another of my hopeful and grateful pieces … this time, a Sestet.

You've chosen a good variety, and this quite a complicated choice … thank you, most graciously and sincerely! ⁓ Richard : )

[θεά]

Beautiful words for a love that seems pure and crafted for kindred spirits.

Having gone through a painful breakup this year, I have been skeptical about love and romance for sometime, Richard. However, the bit about kindred spirits don't feel as jarring. Love can be a beautiful thing. Especially while the honeymoon period lasts.

May you live to be a hundred, as you continue to charm readers and writers alike.

Best,
M.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words and thoughts my friend.
"As sweep Nature’s verdant views, yon hills …
through new eyes ~ it’s Her, love's made me see."
I did like the lines above. Thank you Richard for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[kitty]

Life in itself is like a carousel, where some would dare to ride or dwell. Cling fast to sweetest memories: enjoy the ride and in thine heart may LOVE abide!

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Kitty,
Your lovely words in review, a delightfully sweet poem in themselves.

Warmest hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[kitty]

We live and learn and learn to live, dear Sir!

[Judy Emery/ Lilly Emery]

I loved every word you put into emotions upon paper,very classical of what a love poem pours out to the force of nature. Thank you so much for sharing you beautiful work to all of us on this page.

[Richard🖌]

Such beautiful words and tender sentiments you've left for this romantic little piece, Lilly … you've made my heart smile.

Thank you ever-so warmly, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard : )

[ROXANE DORSEY]

nice poem. thanks for sharing your talent

[Richard🖌]

Thanks for your lovely compliment, Roxane*
And, for selecting one of my humble pieces to read and review.

You are most warmly welcome, Dear Poetess! ⁓ Richard : )

[GreenShoes]

All I can say at the moment is Oh. My. Gosh.

That was amazing.

Your 9-count was perfection until the last stanza:

"across life’s pond in joyous revelry …
each warbling mockingbird’s bright trills"

It still averages out to 9.

This is a beautiful poem, and a better wordsmith than me would be able to do it justice in this blue box.

You're a real poet.

[Richard🖌]

How wonderful, Karen,
You've selected a beautiful piece to begin a new relationship through our poetic journey, and gifted me a wealth of appreciation, encouragement, and gratifying praise I could only dream of … thank you so dearly.
And, thanks to your keen eye, you've even made this a more perfect work … I hope you're happy with the changes.

I love your word-smithing and the joy you've brought into the waning eventide.
"You're a real poet" … oh-MY, Karen!
Hugs to you! ⁓ Richard : )

[Carol Cashes]

"all pain swept aside through tender grace.
Olde love notions soon would fall apart,
to vapor vanished with ne’er a trace."

New, and real love has healing properties that can not be matched by any plant not extinct on our planet.

Artfully penned and the Olde English spelling with New English meaning gives it an "all eras" flavor.

[Richard🖌]

So beautifully expressed, Dear Carol,
Very wise and knowing, indeed, the soothing touches of your words upon an olde bard's grateful needs and vulnerably-appreciative ways.

How very happy you've made me your own grasp fell into one of those "eras" …
big hug of thanks for that! ⁓ Richard ; )