The NEOPHYTE (novice)

SESTETS (6-line verses) in 9-syllable counts and a rhyme-scheme of aa,bb,cc / dd,ee,ff / etc.

The NEOPHYTE

…beginner…

Once, a young lass, naïve neophyte …

some force compelled her to sit and write.

Her coffers were filled with every word

that had been written or ever heard.

Her pen’s ink she drew from finest wells,

to scribe her magick poetic spells.

Preparing for what, she did not know …

phantasmic vapors began to flow,

kaleidoscopes spun in high hues bright,

to set her young soul to winged flight.

A mandala all her words became,

as each thought lit a poetic flame.

Now, 'twas there she sat, filled pen in hand,

upon the pages bright thoughts flowed grand.

Far into night, soft moonlight glowed down,

every word she scribed would bring renown …

adjectives and adverbs, oh so fine,

she perfectly placed in every line.

Then, at breaking of morn’s early light,

she’d writ everything that she could write;

her eyes grew heavy, her wings now furled,

her weary head lain down, shed the world.

Came dream upon dream, all through her sleep,

great poems so grand, not one she’d keep.

She tried to recall … they disappeared;

'twas as though, a wind her mind had cleared.

Upon the table came into sight

pages labored-on all through the night.

Her heart filled with joy at what she read;

then, slowly her words … each turned to dread.

Something was missing, all had gone wrong;

her melody, became a sad song.

The rhymes were all slanted, nothing flowed,

her bright world spinning had somehow slowed.

Where were the images from her mind?

Not a one, on each page, could she find.

Oh, all her words were still there, alright;

but, they’d lost their meanings, from last night.

Like talking with no poetic voice,

that which seemed thrilling does not rejoice.

What, while she slept, had suddenly changed;

had her words, somehow, been rearranged?

She sat, pored keenly over each line,

discov’ring her words were not so fine.

They lacked those deep feelings she had felt …

all of the love in her heart that dwelt.

Thus, she studied about metaphor,

rhyming  'n rhythm  -- then, so much more.

With syntax, flow, and line-breaks that dance;

her verses, she knew, now stood a chance.

She’d read and learned, by those from before;

now, could express her feelings galore.

Her words, at last, knew how to sing;

it's said, "Each, is an inspiring Spring!"

One cannot do what they do not know,

we must first learn, before we can grow.

So, all you fresh, naïve beginners …

smile, for you each will soon be winners.

Learn our fine art of poetry right;

or, you’ll ever be … a "Neophyte".

Richard W. Jenkins

© 3 Oct 2007

Author's Note

One from the archives (though, long) you may still enjoy and find something worthwhile in.
Originally, it was a "young lad", until one of the site's very observant poetesses pointed out that the majority of writers on here are lasses … I always oblige a charming lady-poet. ; )

Please, feel free to leave well-meant, honest, and constructive critique! : )

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Loved reading this (story) poem.
Really..now Richard what can I say.. Not easy to review what I would call a perfect poem.
Clever..clever..
I understood it so well.
Every line sang to me...
I smiled throughout the entire poem..wonderful feeling..waking up, not feeling great, with this Covid, and reading your poem was such a positive beginning of my day.
Funny, but since I started all this.. was it really only two weeks ago!!
I fall asleep searching for words..and once found, I hope to remember them in the morning..seldom happens because with doing this as I said I fall to sleep..and all is lost in my dreams.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you ever-so warmly, Lisa Dear✍

And, I love that you loved anything about this rather contemplative story poem, too. What a marvelous compliment for an olde bard to receive from such an elegant poetess.
Further, that you smiled while reading and actually understand its essence throughout every line, serves to prove I've reached, at least, one appreciative human being … what higher praise could there be than this?

With sincerest gratitude! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Silmara McGarry]

Hey Richard!!!
Beautiful indeed, actually I am speechless...wooow!!! My favourite:

o set her young soul to winged flight.
A mandala all her words became,
as each thought lit a poetic flame.

and you, ohhh an amazing teacher!!!
:-)

[Richard🖌]

Hi, dearest beautiful Sil 🥀

You've selected three genuinely powerful lines to show your own depths of value and skillful insight.
How can I adequately begin to express my heartfelt appreciation for your presence here with me upon my page, and for the wondrous way in which you've reached in and touched my grateful heart with your lovely poetic voice.

The sensation derived from the flow of your expressed admiration and appreciation truly ignite my rugged olde pen to shine even brighter then ever!

I warmly hug you and bless you with brightest thanks for your thrilling review in gratitude, M'Lovely-Hearted Lady-Poet!⁓ Richard 🍃

[Silmara McGarry]

Heyyy dear ))) So happy to see you on your normal wonderful self. I am indeed smiling to read your words and as always so well expressed. I am the one to say thank you for your writing that is so beautiful )))
Enjoy your weekend!!
Hugsss and see you!

[barleygirl]

This is one of the best poems of yours I've ever read. I really love this one. Your storytelling is what appeals to me most -- the way you take your time, meandering thru this story, with twists & turns to keep us chomping away. I was reminded of my nephew, dropping out of high school decades ago, so sure he didn't need schooling becuz he was going to be a songwriter. His songs were so flat & featureless, it was clear he'd never been in these personal situations about which most songs are written. He hadn't lived much, existing mostly in his bedroom & his imagination. I think this is a more common ailment than one might suppose! Love this poem (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Richard🖌]

Ohhh, MARGIE! 🔆

To receive such gracious accolades from a poetess of your stature and skill-level is far more than I could have expected, but I'm keeping every humbling, inspiring word. ; )

The story of your naïve nephew is so truly apt to this story of the neophyte, with some extra insightful tidbits included to let me know you and I are dancing to the same meaningful tune.

As always, you've much of interest and learning to offer for an olde bard to appreciate … thank you, Dear Margie, for being YOU! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Patricia Wedel]

Inspiration is fragile as a Breeze on a sunny day...
especially by the Ocean in July with the sound of
Seagulls and their flock... they may rest on Rocks
as you feel the Roll of waves and gentle tides.
Poetry is a gift that keeps on giving. tenderly, Pat

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Lady Patricia 🕊️

How very wonderful it is to find your sweet poetic voice on this rainy Texas afternoon … you bring a warm sense of gratitude for lovely friendship and for how enthralling your speak from the gentle kindness and captivating wisdom of your beautiful heart.

I love the imagery you've painted into my smitten mind … big HUG of happy thanks!⁓ Richard 🍃

[Patricia Wedel]

A dearest Richard... there is sadness more often than not... when Countrues do not take care of their people. We need Soace and

[Patricia Wedel]

We need Space and Time to reconcile the damage nine. GOD hellp us all to feel the Humanity that settles in our Land. Amen... Pat

[danielle.]

Can I ask a question?
If ‘ever’ is two syllables, wouldn’t ‘every’ be three?

[Richard🖌]

NO!
You CANNOT ask a question, without so much as a review for the excellently crafted poem you just read.
OOPS! You already asked … LOL!

My take on your question: "ever" is properly pronounced ˈevər (2-syllables).
"every" is properly pronounced ˈevrē (2-syllables), not everē (3-syllables).
The distinct difference of ever's meaning: "eternal in time", and every's meaning: "all-conclusive", accounts for "every" not being a proper extension of "ever" by simply adding the "y".
But, I concur that what you say seems valid and sensible at first blush.

[Helen]

I wrote a poem yesterday and somehow in the process of copy and paste to the site, I lost a whole chunk. Not quite the same as you are expressing in the poem, but still that feeling of dread and the impossibility of recapturing the feeling and the words that had so easily flowed on first writing. You capture how I felt with your words, 'twas as though, a wind her mind had cleared. It was clean gone!

I don't know about learning about the formality of poetry, but I do know that (as a neophyte) I have already learnt so much from others here and really been inspired. I've been quite confused about punctuation, in poems but this poem is a good one to study to work this out. You have also freed me from feeling I have to start each line with a capital letter!

Thank you for this.

[Richard🖌]

Bless your lovely heart, Dear Helen 😔

For, I genuinely relate to your unfortunate demise in losing such valuable, irretrievably lost words, along with their perfection and powerful meanings … one feels like ripping their hair out from such helplessness. After this happening so many times, I "finally" learned to hit the "SAVE" button, and to write whatever is important in a word-processing application to copy/paste here … I'm so sincerely sorry this happened to you, but lesson learned, eh?

Ya know, Helen, it's amazing how many hopeful poetess and poets have no idea that poetry is composed in poetic forms that make it poetry, rather then smatterings of unstructured common prose (talking) that are often impossibly ambiguous to understand and follow.

If one is ever to become an accomplished poetess or poet, my experienced and knowledgeable advice is to take lessons from a skilled teacher before beginning and developing many poor habits that may be extremely toilsome and discouraging to break or overcome.
Well, it's just the dedicated teacher in my blood sharing with you and caring. : )

You mentioned punctuation: Writing poems sans punctuation is as akin to a reader perusing a poem, as it is to a musician sitting down to a piano and playing a song with no musical score on the page before them … neither is able to discern how the essence of what they see is meant to be grasped by its writer or composer.

I think it is wonderful to know you've learned and been inspired so much by others on here … yet, I can't help pondering the quality of its merit.

To know you've come away with something of useful value from this tale of a fledgling's poetic learning and awakening, makes every effort of an olde bard's truly rewarding and inspiring … thank you, Helen, ever-so gratefully, for inspiring me! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Just Kim]

wow! this is so good and cute, nicely written

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, Kim.

[Carola]

richard you've been reading my mind !!!!

ah, all those poems i had in my mind seem to just vaporize overnight & next morning i'm left with a vacant brain & frantically rummaging through the delete bin in my head to recover my precious mental scribblings.

still being poem kindergarten, i do find that some of my poems seem to flow better than others.
i must see if there's a u-tube video clip on poetic meter, ive read about it, but i just don't get it.

cheerio carola

[Richard🖌]

Um, Carola Dear 🤫

I've noticed, too, how we do seem to touch and blend quite nicely, eh? 😏
Just think how wonderful it would be to wake each other to write down all those masterpieces we dreamed-up during the night … we'd have a book-full by now.
Yes, indeed, your poems do "flow", and they dance upon the page into our minds and hearts, too.
For a lesson on "Meter", try mine at https://www.writerscafe.org/courses/WHAT-MAKES-POETRY-POETRY%3F/8501/LESSON-II.-What-Is-Meter%3F/8503/
Maybe, it will help a bit. 😊

Thank you, M'Lady Poet … hugs! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Woah wow a fantastic tale and the surprise was in the urging and inspiring to write metaphor and poetry lessons to this supernatural creature that we all can learn from. Kudos for this rhyming poem .


I like interaction for the human touch, so pls pleez do review/ comment/ give your thoughts on my newest poem

[Richard🖌]

Thank you most gratefully, Dear Poet,
For selecting this rather eye-opening piece to read, review, and comment on … and, for your gracious praise.

I'll be sire to reserve a review for you on my agenda.
Many blessing on your day! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Richard🖌]

Reread my review of your poem, "The Royals vs the poet's realms".

[NotUsinganymore]

Interesting. I liked how well it flowed and liked the ending c:

[Richard🖌]

Thanks for reading … I am glad you found favor in this piece.

[Richard🖌]

(sorry, the site cut-off part of my comments … here they are intact)
I am glad to see you've already read this piece and reviewed it (albeit, not much of a review).
I hope you got something worthwhile from it that will serve you well in your poetic career.

Blessings, Syr Poet. 🍃

[Onlyme]

A fine first-class write and filled with wonderful advice to take heed of and learn a great lesson from Richard. Sound advice. From a great master himself. :)

[Richard🖌]

Lovely, Dawn! 💫
I'd not expected such radiantly altruistic plaudits of approval and favor, from a poetess so bright … but, I'm keeping every word. ; )
True, that which you say; no one can write great poetry by accident; though, so many naïve beginners believe they do … yet, haven't a clue.
But, hey! We all had to start somewhere before we could Learn, eh?
Sadly, so many give-up before they do, or just never wake-up to the vast dimensions of their real potential, and many never take constructive critique or lessons seriously.
Ahhh, but you know all this.

Thanks a zillion, Dear Lady-Poet! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Onlyme]

I agree totally with you Richard, we learn as we go on. But like you said. Sadly some just stop and never continue. :)