Note to a dead friend.

Friend, 

We've been through a lot.

I'm not sure what to say to you.

You're dead now, though,

So I guess you cant really hear me  

Say anything.

I suck at these sorts of things. 

But you know that.

Knew that. 

I guess to use the common clichés, 

Id say I miss you.

But I'm not sure that covers it.

Because you could never be 

Described

In just one word.

Nor one cliche.

You're worth more than that.

So I guess I could say, 

In a thousand words how I miss everything about

You.

I miss your laughter 

And your jokes.

And your smile.

And everything else.

But, knowing how you like simplicity,

(well, how you LIKED simplicity, gonna have to get used to

The past tense thing, yaknow? Oh wait, you're dead, I guess you really DON'T know.

See how confusing this is?)

You'd probably tell me to hurry the f**k up.

But, since you're dead,I suppose I have to tell myself that now.

Okay.

You liked honesty, so I guess I should just be blunt.

Why in the F**K did you have to die?

Couldn't you have made me hate you first?

That would make this letter so much easier.

Like:

Haha you're dead.

But of course you had to make me love you.

You made me love you like my own brother.

You saved me from suicide.

You had to make it so I'm crying over you every night

Because I keep remembering you in that stupid hospital mask

With tubes in your arms.

Because I loved you.

I did.

No lies, no cliches.

I loved you.

I still love you.

Yes, in present tense. 

This bench doesn't really suit you, yaknow?

Neither does the plaque.

Or the inscription.

Or the graveyard. 

Or being dead.

But since I can't say that to the people who put you here 

In the ground, I'm left only to say goodbye, like The people in all those sad movies you hated.

I'll leave flowers, even though you had allergies.

I guess this is goodbye for now my friend.

We had a hell of a good time together.