Scars

Scars

A Poem by Rose Diamond
"

I just want to put a trigger warning on this for anyone who has ever self-harmed

"
Criss Cross
Criss Cross
Up and down her arms
Criss Cross
Criss Cross
Eight fading scars
Criss Cross
 Criss Cross
She hid them all in shame
Criss Cross
Criss Cross
Each one has a name

The first one's name is 'ugly'
The second's name is 'baby'
Both of which are small and crude
Shallow, red, and shaky

The third one goes by 'w***e'
Quite a cleaner cut
We call the fourth one 'emo kid'
The fifth one's name is 's**t'

The sixth one is christened 'Gothic b***h'
The seventh 'f*g' and 'gay'
She's sewn her mouth
stitch by stitch
But theirs' went on all day

The eighth one hurt her the most
That I guarantee
They told her to go kill herself
And she almost did proceed

But she took a moment for herself
Put away the knife
And in that second she could see 
The beauty in her life

The bluebirds humming their heavenly hymn
The flowers in full bloom
The twinkling stars when the sky is dim
The romance of the moon

  Criss Cross
Criss Cross
Each is a battle she had won
Criss Cross
Criss Cross
Her story's just begun  

© 2013 Rose Diamond



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Featured Review

Very good poem. It flowed nicely and you didn't overdo the repetition. It does a good job at painting a picture on just what bullying can do to people. I do believe the emotion switch at the end happened just a little to suddenly. It took me out of the zone for just a moment, it just needs a smoother transition. Beyond that, the poem and message were both wonderful.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I adore this. I understand self-injury because I've struggled with it for years. I loved that each of the scars had a name. The repetition was perfect.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very good poem. It flowed nicely and you didn't overdo the repetition. It does a good job at painting a picture on just what bullying can do to people. I do believe the emotion switch at the end happened just a little to suddenly. It took me out of the zone for just a moment, it just needs a smoother transition. Beyond that, the poem and message were both wonderful.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love poems that make me feel something, and this did. Beautiful title too

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I too have relapsed with self harm and this poem is just amazing. I love that there's light at the end of this. Amazingly written

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amazing and powerful poetry. I like the use of repetition and the purpose for the poem. I like the words "Criss cross." Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. Words can sting us. Better to leave the naysayers in the dust.
Coyote


Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Honestly, i had chills when i read this. I am currently battling self harm, and recently relapsed after 50 days clean. I love the positive at the end of this and as i was reading i was hoping for some light at the end and you didnt disappoint. Well written and relatable.

Thank you for sharing.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A comic said of Richard Pryor “He did soul surgery on stage”. Art reveals, you paint who you are, have been, boldly and with delicate detail in shades of weakness strength and hope. Each reader finds a piece of themselves in this image. You cross that distance between us, which is what fine artists do. Thank you

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The first thing I have to say is the most obvious. The last five lines just don't do it for me. You've already given a hopeful ending with your 'romance of the moon'. You don't need to say it twice. Let it end with a beautiful image, much like the final shot in a movie. Otherwise, it weakens your message. You've done a fine job with repetition, but it has reached the climax with your moon scene.

You also may want to put a warning to a potential trigger to this poem. Though I have moderate doubts that it will awaken dark and terrible memories to some that may be harder to bear than they signed up for. Mind you, I *doubt* it will be a problem, but it is a minor courtesy and precaution that won't detract from your work. In plain English, no loss, small gain.

I'm also not a huge fan of the title. It's too obvious. Why not "Criss Cross", or simply "X"? You can lure in your readers simply that they have no idea what the poem is immediately about by your title. By calling it "Scars" the title does fit, but the mystery is gone. If you just have a trigger warning and a mysterious title, you may attract more readers. Be a tease. People love that $@*!.

Regards,
-M. L. Zane

P.S. Congratulations on your award. I can neither confirm nor deny a minor fit of jealousy. :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Rose Diamond

3 Years Ago

Thank you for your review, though I'm quite happy with the way it is, so I think I'll just leave it... read more
M. L. Zane

3 Years Ago

I did not, actually. Whoops. I blame the faint grey text against a white background.
A marvelous piece that inspires hope to depraved souls everywhere.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

As a past self-harmer, this poem spoke to me in a very personal way. I absolutely loved the "Criss Cross" and the rhyming pattern used in the verses. Each of my scars had "names" or reasoning behind them, and I can understand exactly how the subject is feeling. Thank you so much for submitting this into my contest and congratulations!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rose Diamond

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I'm happy that you liked it, but I'm even happier that you said /past/ self-har.. read more

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Added on December 10, 2013
Last Updated on December 10, 2013

Author

Rose Diamond
Rose Diamond

Canada



About
(Formerly Rosie-Chan) Hi there! My name is Rose, I'm 17, I love theatre, music, and literature, and I am a poet! I am literally the most inconsistent poet ever, but I'm ok I guess. more..

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