Soap

Soap

A Poem by Bad Poetry

Pain. 
tears from the eyes.
broken ties.
running out of that place.
an empty space.
hopes so high.
nothing hurts more than soap in the eyes.

© 2013 Bad Poetry


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Featured Review

Well, it cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh. Perhaps "tears" would be better than "crying".

It's quite ambiguous actually, I'm really starting to think there's depth here, "broken ties" hmmmm. Yep, the more I think about it the more I fall in love with it, I'm trying to bridge the gap between the last line and the rest of it...I'm thinking hard. As a result of that, you've done your job as a poet. Wonderful.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bad Poetry

11 Years Ago

thanks for the great advice i'll change it right now.



Reviews

This is a good piece. I can't work out whether the final line is a deliberate anti-climax for comedic effect or something kind of profound. Nicely structured rhyme.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I can think of quite a few things worse than soap in the eyes...but I didn't visit to argue the point. It's simple and short and for the brevity of it you have expressed your thoughts well. That's what counts. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed the manner in which you built this piece up, made it seem as though the injury was that of some horrid origin, and then concluded with a pain that I'm sure most everyone is familiar with, nicely done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That's a memory from childhood. Great job...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow deep and emotional

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This looks like something you would read in a book, The Light in The Attic, or, Where the Sidewalk Ends... I love your use of something everyone has experienced (soap in the eye) while still connecting to the older generation by eluding it to lost dreams and hope...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Tex
very cute write. btw I love your screen name...

soap could be a substitution for a bad relationship.

very nice write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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753 Views
20 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 5, 2012
Last Updated on January 28, 2013

Author

Bad Poetry
Bad Poetry

Empire , Barbados



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