Plummet.

I could stand at the bridge

For the next three hours.

I could relive all the times

You told me you wanted me to leave.

I could take that next step

And be with our hopes and dreams.

I could realise all you wanted

With but only the movement of feet.

I should have told you

I loved you more often than I did.

I should have mentioned the way

Your hair glistened in the mid-day sun.

I should have remembered

The way you use to smile,

I should have held on another night

So I didn't have to see you wasting away.

I should've been brave

And plummeted that day,

I should've been strong

And given us both that sweet escape.

I should've said goodbye,

As I tried to keep to the plan.

I should've embraced the fall,

Instead I was a coward of a man.

Reviews

[H.L. Cerveise]

It is hard saying the things, we know we should but just can't. We freeze sometimes and then replay them over and try to wish it was different. This poem really shows that feeling and that deep grief. I think it should be "The way you use to smile" not used.

Well done

[=]

Forgive me if I'm wrong, it's just I like to clarify and it's 4am so my syntax/grammar is bound to go out of the window.

But how come you recommend that particular change? Again, I don't mean to be rude and question you. It's just that line is past tense, so surely shouldn't the word use/used?

Regardless, I'm probably being silly and overly tired! Thank you for your review!

[H.L. Cerveise]

No problem, I know you do past tense and why you do that. It is just that used means secondhand, like I wrote on the back of a used envelope. The word use is past tense when you say, "The way you use to smile." I have a similar problem with some words.

[=]

Genuinely, thank you for clearing that up! I'll amend it now.

[ranscan]

Very artful presentation of a societal taboo. A strong pull right through to the last line, the whispering memories haunt more than the subject, they touch on universal regrets.
It is an interesting conversation about the nature of love, of our connection to another, the lingering of longing and doubt.

[Abioduun]

Nice one . I do like how you let us into the body of what should have been then the submission, candid and real .Good introduction, excellent wrap. Although you alone know what led to this outpour, I think the mood is that of regret and got me thinking too. Keep working and keep it coming.

[=]

Thank you so much for your time reviewing my work!

[Nessly]

This piece shows a lot of depth. Sometimes it's hard telling others how we feel. If only we didn't hold our feelings so deep inside, maybe there would be less heartache in the world. I love the imagery and setting of this poem. My mind went on a beautifully sad journey.

[=]

Once again, thank you for taking your time on one of my pieces!

[12.09am]

Really enjoyed this , thought it showed alot of depth :)

[=]

Thank you so much!

[TheRaven]

Strong nihilistic tendencies, or rather present anyway. The replay review of moments in our life is too easy to look into, and our vision in rewind is always with more clarity. But things aren't always the way we believe them in hindsight, and regret is too easy to hold onto. The harder choice is to pull its claws out, patch up the bleeding and climb the ladder no matter how many splinters and cuts you get. Fall, and climb again. Plummeting was never good use to anybody. Powerful words here, they're stated a bit directly for my taste and I would have liked more bridge and plummeting imagery. A submersion into the oceans of death, letting the black night water soak our senses into cold numbness.

"And given us both that sweet escape." -- So, were both of the couple suicidal? I'm simply curious by the wording. Should've been strong and... killed us both?

[=]

Thank you for your review! That last line was regarding the character's suicide and his partner's escape from him.

[Desirée Tolliver]

This is a very interesting and intriguing poem. I found it very gloomy and sad. I could almost sympathize with the words of the poem as they seemed to describe a desperate attempt at suicide (or maybe I read it wrong) but in the end the event doesn't go as planned. I commend your creativity and wish you good luck in your future endeavors. I look forward to reading more works by you in the future.

[Zaliodir]

Are you a nihilist? I don't mean to pry, but I just had to ask. I have always noticed the dark undertones in your poetry, but then, in my opinion, a poet and a nihilist are a condradiction in terms. Anyway, I liked the poem, it was kind of dark for me though.

[=]

I wouldn't regard myself as a nihilist. More that I on occasion I have nihilistic tendencies and mannerisms.

Essentially, I've gone through a lot of dark times and writing tends to be my only way of expressing it. Which would account for the darker undertones.

Anyway thanks, this review really made me think!

[Zaliodir]

Maybe poetry will be the way to pull you out of dark times. :)