Listen to Her Sing

And yet, even though she's not mine,

I'm sure she could tell from the look,

In her eyes that I was already her's.

And the way she danced, be it all over

My heart, consumed my entirety,

As our day together grew dark.

The feel of her breath, against my neck,

As I held her close whilst the world was

Spinning, out of our control, intoxicated.

And the way she sung, a voice as beautiful,

As the perfect person that possessed it,

Exciting every fibre of my being,

For hours, I could listen to her sing.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A perfect song. A wonderful thing.
"The feel of her breath, against my neck,
As I held her close whilst the world was
Spinning, out of our control, intoxicated."
To be intoxicated by voice and words. A place we need to know. Thank you Roy for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[ranscan]

A soft, slow dance of a version of the theme. Poignant in its imagery, there are some delightful plays with the language, especially in the second and third stanzas.
I wonder about the first stanza, the meaning is a little difficult to catch in the chase of eyes. It may be the punctuation, it could serve you better.
In the last stanza, I think sang would carry better than sung.
The attempt in this piece, and the creation of some stunning intimate vistas, is quite powerful.

[Kale]

I am infatuated with the passion you managed to portray in matter of a few lines in a couple of paragraphs. It is absolutely enchanting that she is not yours, but you are hers. I am intrigued by the subtly of the relationship between the two and I want to dive in deeper to the ore of the emotions. Everything is subtle, yet address in a manner that is magnificent. For me, I feel able to understand the emotions and formulate a situation I could personally relate to the poem, but it is like everything grazes passed the surface of one's skin and that is gorgeous. It is open for interpretations and concocting an understanding of what is the story behind this beautifully written poem. I think you have managed to create a piece of art. There is pain, there is love, there is strain and there is hope. I am in love with this piece and I'm more than inspired to write; I feel the intoxication of her breath. I feel her warmth. Beautifully written. Gracious rhyming patterns. Bravo.

[Elmarie]

Lovely passion, It's wonderful to feel this love and desire especially if it is reciprocated. Nice work!

Blessings

El

[=]

As always, thank you!

[H.L. Cerveise]

I loved this poem. Often when I singer hits the right feelings in me I feel the same. She had to be singing it for just me. I end up listening it over many times. As Nessly says I think you meant every?

Well done.

[=]

Thanks mate, and yes! Nessly is right, going to change that now!

[Nessly]

Nice imagery. I think the fourth stanza, last line, "ever" should be "every". I'm not sure though. Good write.

[=]

Thank you for the review. And yes, you're right. Thank you for noticing!