Every Time

I succumb to the caging darkness

As quiet plays so loudly in my mind.

I don’t mean to lose you at the door

Toward the end of every night,

But your shoes are agile

Like the autumn wind

Zipping through my coastal life.

And your voice travels softly

Through all my bed sheets.

How come your lips betray me

Every time we kiss?

Reviews

[Omar Fendri]

My godness! How delicate are these words... a delicate blame, if that makes any sense at all. The very swift description you used here "shoes as agile , coastal life, caging darkness (You gave darkness a shape, how beautiful)"... This speaks to me like a silent cry. A one I cannot hear, yet I can feel. FEEL. And the moment I swept into the imaginary of your description, you wept loud "how come your lips betray me every time we kiss?". ! EXCELLENT.

[Nihad Dweidary]

Thank you Omar for all the kind words. This is about a girl who can't make up her mind, and doesn't fully realize what her evasiveness does to her lover. I don't know how this poem wrote itself. I really don't. Much obliged and honored that you found time to read it. Best, -Nido

[Omar Fendri]

thank you for the insight. Much appreciated. Ah, I can relate. Most of my poems wrote themselves. I am enjoying your writings. it is worth my time sincerely. :)

[J.P. Bristow]

Poignant .................

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

But your shoes are agile
Like the autumn wind
Zipping through my coastal life. -- yes...beautiful...and you must be careful of those agile footed dreams, they do tend to come and go at the most unexpected of times.

There is a longing here that is both palpable and bittersweet at the same time. A dream...twisted bedsheets...and a kiss that is never quite given, thus your lips are betrayed. "I mourn the kiss that we never had" --someone, somewhere said that, but I can't remember who right now, it is late and my eyes are becoming blurry. Suffice to say, I feel this one in the core of me...and it inspires me to wamt to write. Well done.

Ah I love the sentence: "As quiet plays so loudly in my mind." for that's probably so good, and real, as white noise can whirl around into nothingness... this is another good piece of you, :) my goodness, in love with a ghost, and death... for a change ;) wonderful work! :)

- Elisa

[Kris]

I loved this piece - it is flows at a soothing pace but bringing such truthful sadness/sad truth about one-way relationships. Nicely penned!

[Nihad Dweidary]

Thank you Crissy. And so it is. One way, but not without beauty and discovery. I am grateful for the review. Best, -Nido