meaning

i feel like vomiting,

for the first time in my life

there’s no reason for me to live,

if life seems to consist,

of living for watching television,

loop after endless loop

an electronic god

emanating light,

speaking,

entertaining,

smartly guiding

and leading to endless realms

of virtual reality,

from a to z,

alpha omega enthroned,

all the facets intrinsic to the human psyche,

and far beyond unto infinity

with a labyrinth of portals

via merging with the web

you get the idea,

at least i do,

sitting there pondering,

while watching t.v.,

that it’s all about what you want,

you, you, you,

me, me, me

i'm trying to figure out the end goal,

but after many years,

i know there isn't one

it's now, now, now

and everything else is utterly speculative,

while in the grand scheme of things,

measured spiritually,

which to the common materialistic layman,

is an utterly speculative thing itself,

whose existentialism,

atheistism, agnostism,

nihilism,

humanism,

utterly negates any further questioning

. . . back from our sponsors' break

back to the bit about smart t.v.

yeah, that includes me

it tells me,

how to do this,

how to get that

what to do

when you do it

billions of images,

billions of bits of advice

humor,

advertise this and that

eat this

eat that,

what’s left in the end?

invest

spend,

think like a program,

take this for longevity,

watch out for the side affects

there’s more of them than good,

for each good step forward

there’s 30 backwards,

for each new discovery,

for a cure

there’s 40 virulent,

50 new pathogenic strains,

in the end one of them will,

has gotten us all

this narrator’s voice

that narrators’ voice,

selling this,

selling that,

breaking news,

breaking my mind,

fracturing my sanity,

were it not for the rock of ages

who cannot be broken

i'd 'ave broken long ago

just here,

just existing,

for the moment

oh, i want something different, so bad,

okay, badly . . .

give me this give me that,

is there nothing different under the sun?

okay anything?

put me outta my misery,

okay, out of!

oh, i get it

it’s called survival

living’ for the next breath,

not knowing why, really,

don’t take away our entertainment,

though,

don’t ponder,

just take another selfie,

reach out and tweet someone,

or twitter,

or face book,

shoot for 2 million followers,

of friends,

yeah, real friends,

i can’t even keep one

after i run out of things to give them,

they usually ditch me,

or they ditch me when i ask for help

don’t even talk about it,

or you’re gonna get criticized,

so, you learn to keep your thoughts to yourself

i mean,

you might get killed

by the angry mob,

like Jesus did for speaking about love

and especially the truth,

don’t talk about accountability to the real God

or about sin,

you're gonna get ditched,

you’re gonna get hated,

he got crucified

if you talk too loud,

okay! okay!!

. . . loudly

you’re gonna get hurt . . . ,

anti bully slogans are popular,

but there’s innumerable bullies in the politics

of Washington D.C.,

and they get away with it

if you’re a politician it’s okay to bully,

but they stress,

that we must teach our children not to bully

(why is it so important,

to get grammatically correct,

at a time like this?)

i mean,

i’m just a vapor,

here today,

gone tomorrow,

my tombstone someday

will wash ashore,

against some remote ditch,

on some remote part of post tribulation earth,

during a massive earthquake,

after a tsunami,

on a biblical scale of devastation,

so why get grammatically correct?

because somehow it's utterly important,

we must live for meaning,

there must be meaning,

there must be purpose,

when the food runs out

a lot of people are gonna riot,

(going to riot),

when they lose their comfort,

lose their t.v.

internet,

sports channels, etc.,

paychecks, etc.,

people are going to riot,

some will seek God

we’re only really here,

it seems,

to live one day to the next,

to live rightly,

live good,

keep the ten commandments

and have fun in that context

without legalism

freedom in Christ

until a new day dawns,

a new kingdom,

when God reigns

and brings back his shekinah glory

i know then,

i won't feel satiated with t.v.

starved for meaning,

lonely for someone to talk too,

won't feel empty,

He promises,

there is no eye which has seen,

there is no ear that has heard,

the things that I have in store

for those who love me,

look, I'm going to create

a new heavens and a new earth!