it's about time

woke up this morning,
wanted to cash in
on some time,
but it was spent
even before i had time
to plot its worth

so,
i contrived a strategy
to predetermine
how to best use my time
as if she were all mine

she is not mine
i borrow of her
she influences my moves

i may only do
the things i do
whatever those things are,
while time keeps,
slipping,
slipping into the future,

outside of clocks,
i am not quite aware
of her existence

i decided to use her
windows of opportunity
most wisely,

that is,
to do those things i do,
before she slipped by,

that is,
to do everything in my power
to squeeze every bit of her,
hours,
minutes,
seconds . . .

by the time i had begun,
an attempt to figure,
how to do this,
she overlapped me,
she flattened my ambition
and my pretentiousness
to utter nothingness

each of my attempts
ended with the same results,
time after time

“what is time?”
i asked,

″. . . but the movement of things,
like sun up and down,
like,
the ticking of my heart,
now
as compared to
it having beaten all the times before,”

″. . . time is in the thought of tomorrow

and whether my heart
will tick,
then,
or not,”

″. . . it is in the growth of things,
measurable things,”
″ . . . things here today,
gone tomorrow,”
“she is in the history of all things,
compared to right now,
and compared to later”

I’m spending
time with time
right now,
this moment,

i am her servant
i can never own her

there’s no way i can beat time,
as i sit here and type these words
and as i grasp to stretch each second,
time eludes me . . .

no, mick,
time is not on my side

she runs from me
waits for no one,
she is irreversibly on a mission
of forward movement,
never backward,
once she passes by
the outcome
resulting from her
passage
is impossible to undo

forget the so called,
time travelers
claiming to go back in time,
(she takes no hostages),
to change an event
like,
let’s say,
to become unborn

well, dear reader
once you’re born
it’s done
it is what it is,

to this
a dude said to me,
“i should not be here"

“why not?�™"
i ask,

the dude said,
“i will show you that if i were to go back in time,
i could be unborn,"
'cause if i were to go back in time,
i would unbirth myself,”

“how would you do that?”
i ask again,

“i would go back in a time machine
and persuade my mother
to refrain from sex
with the man
who would be my father”

“well, if this were possible,
who would i be talking with at this moment?”

he looked at me quizzically,
“i don’t know, since i wouldn’t exist”

I said,
“of course,"

"if your philosopy is correct,
as you said,
you would not be here,"

"to juxtaposition descarte,
you think, therefore you are
based on philosophical logic,
right?”

you just simply are
who you are,
this moment

you can’t go back in time
in order to bend time to your whim,

don’t mess with time,
enjoy it,
abide by her rules,

if you’re late for an important date,
apologize,

get prepared responsibly
take the time to plan ahead
don’t think,
you can stretch time,

save time
by spending time,
live your life freely

the old addage,
time flies
when you’re having fun
is true somewhat

but,
it’s relative
to each individual’s perception,

it time for me to go,
but before i do,
i’ll take some time
to share,

when i was young,
i thought not much
about the end of my time
on this earth

i think back,
i look back now
and see
how indeed,
time waits for no one
(ask the moody blues)

my life has sped by
with no chance of recovering
past events
maybe someday
i’ll have time
to spend time
for eternity
a place where time
never ends

maybe,
someday,
i’ll have time
to spend her wisely

without waste
’til then
she’s forever
on my bucket list,

it’s about time
i make better use of her

now i have,
but the future
to wait for