Daze

I would rather spend a thousand days with you

A cell or two down the block

Than a single day

Alone in paradise

Bright flashes punctuate muted conversation

Lovers seek refuge from a hotel room day

As if thier windowed stares could will the storm away

As if my pen could write you back into a morning of tepid love

It is not my lusts that contain you

Not your fiery passion that I wish to burn me

The electric love contained in the tips of your fingers

The rumble of thunder that lives in the small space between our kiss

No sense in dreaming, I relish the storm

Decide to let the tropic rain wash from me the refuse of my heart

No worry of jousting with lovers that dare clutter my path

I will drift along in the gutters as washing over me pure rain carries detritus to the sea

Dead eyed stare faces misty swamps of sea

Tumbling upon each other waves cast themselves against the shore in flailing death

Reborn each minute their fate sure

No death for them or me

Sternly I am rebuked by the sky

Look up no more she flashes

Bright swords of lightning cross in anger that I dare mention love to her cataclysmic breath

She lets loose her rain and without knowing I end up standing exactly the place I left

Where...

I would rather spend a thousand days

A cell or two down the block

Than a single day 

Alone in paradise

As the memory of you screams from a storm 

Reviews

[Myth]

absolutely what Rosalind said, i second that review so as not to seem redundant, it was perfect.

[Rosalind Gale]

Dear Rusty,
I enjoyed this poem, though after the first stanza I did not think I would - it felt as though you were not going to excel yourself as you can. I was wrong (not for the first time in my life, nor the last I expect) The poem stretches out with intent, your 'voice' clear and present - you make your point with the right amount of imagery, of directness, and the structure holds it together well.

Rosa -
-x-

[Lily Mae]

This is amazing ink.. well done..xo

[Brittany]

Great imagery in this. I liked your phrasing and you kept me interested. Well done.

[olla]

wonderful.. well done.. I liked it very much..

[afra]

good job ...keep writing

[Che Davis]

"No sense in dreaming, I relish the storm"

that is a great line.

good poem

[. serah .]

. i have no words, monsieur ...
. just tears ...