Untitled.

 Cold and wet she lay shivering huddled into a ball on a cold wooden floor. 

She awakens to a dark unfamiliar room, she was surrounded by  the stench of blood and rotten flesh in the air. The smell hit the back of her throat, she began to wretch. The smell was as though it was chocking her, she couldn’t stop herself.

        She has no recollection  of what has happened, where she was or even why she was there  but more importantly at the time what that putrid smell was.

        A flicker of light appears from the small gap under the door in front of her, her heart sinks instantly.  She remembers, she knows what has happened. What was going to happen. Without even thinking about doing it he body curls up into the smallest shape possible. 

She dreads what is about to happen more than she dreaded the day that she would die. Little did she know that day would be sooner that she thought. 

        The door opened slowly with the deadliest of silences. The light from the landing shone into the room hitting her in the face, showing the dried blood all across one side of her face. 

 A man entered the room. He had blood dripping from the needle that he still had hanging from the bulging vein in his arm. The heroin already racing though his body. His eyes fixated on her with pupils the size of pins.

 With his eyes still fixated upon her he begins to scream… and continues to scream. Her ears feel as though they could explode, she begins to crawl towards him in a plea to make him stop. 

He does. 

As he stops he clenches his fist and pulls his arm back, his hand already swollen and covered in dried blood was shaking ready to fly forwards. And it does, it hits her square in the jaw. 

Both her jaw and his hand break instantly. He screams out in pain as she falls from her knees to her back unable to even yell out in pain. 

He reaches out for the light switch for the room to check the extent of the damage to his hand, he doesn’t give her a second thought. “ F**k her” he thinks.

But by turning on the light he reveals her fate, in the corner of the room two decomposing bodies lay, only recognisable as humans through their hair and teeth. 

She knows that this is her in only a few moments, she accepts it.

He falls to his knees above her, he grabs her face and makes her look him in the eyes. She can’t.

He grabs the needle and pulls it out of his arm, a drop of blood runs down over his arm.

The needle was grasped tightly in his hand while he attempts to make her look at him.

He snaps, he swings for her throat with the needle. He swings and swings and swings constantly stabbing her in the throat.

Blood begins to pour all over the floor from the holes in her neck. 

She is still breathing. Barely.

He goes back to just pounding her face with his hands, she passes out and her last thought is the biggest thought of relief anybody could feel.

 

Reviews

[Bella]

I really liked this. Great write. My favorite part was:

"A flicker of light appears from the small gap under the door in front of her, her heart sinks instantly. She remembers, she knows what has happened. What was going to happen. Without even thinking about doing it he body curls up into the smallest shape possible.
She dreads what is about to happen more than she dreaded the day that she would die. Little did she know that day would be sooner that she thought."

[Gathering_Stars]

This is a great piece, you put a lot of emotion into this writing.

[Looouise]

interesting.
I enjoyed reading it.

[The Conspiracist]

Looks like this story is going to be some great reviews ! Great story ... so far !

[J.Black]

Wow. This was wonderfully written.

Chills creepy down my spine. For a sixteen year old boy, you're going far kid, real far.

"As he stops he clenches his fist and pulls his arm back, his hand already swollen and covered in dried blood was shaking ready to fly forwards. And it does, it hits her square in the jaw.
Both her jaw and his hand break instantly."

You should say: "As he stops, fist clenched, he pulls his arm back, his hand already swollen covered in dried blood was shaking ready to fly forwards."

There is a alot of like drag on sentences which could be said differently.

[Greystone]

Jesus, man.

How deep are you into writing Horror? You certainly sent some shivers down my spine. I want to know how she got there, I want to know why prisoners are given adrenaline-encouraging drugs, I want to know if they were once married and hated kids! I want to know what old fiend is sitting on his moldy behind laughing away at their inner turmoil!

Blargh. You know what? You're TOO talented. *Eyes narrow*

I have my eye on you, mister.