North

where the line between us in blurred

As you travel north... The cities and farmer’s fields give way to trees and small towns.  Eventually thinning to become hard snow covered desert tundra, though we are not going that far today.  The concept of time starts to flex, with days stretching to unheard of lengths in the summer and shrinking to scraps of mid day sunlight in the winter. It is a place where people stop desperately trying to beat time into submission but accept its passing as inevitable. A place where civilized conversation is replaced by humor and camaraderie.  Where even the ground becomes smaller, reduced to a few bare inches of soil covering a rocky shield over the land, in which all living things cling to life. And the sky becomes magnificently huge, without lights to damage nature’s beauty, she even sometimes shows us the colors of aurora borealis.  This is where I met her.

As we go into the store/post office/coffee shop/bait and tackle/laundromat for directions, I can see that we stand out. But the people are accepting of that, and we are as well.  The campgrounds are just down the road, take a left at the fork. They are newly built, along with the permanent highway that recently replaced the ice-road.  The outhouses still smell of paint, a pleasant surprise, especially in the July heat. We set up our temporary living quarters, noting no one else is around. The sounds of insects and dogs follow us into sleep.

The following morning, a local man, dressed in an official parks department shirt, a pair of crisp jeans and work boots, stops by to teach us about our new, if temporary home.  We introduce ourselves.

“Call me Charlie,” he tells us, tilting his head in a slight nod. “You’re the first visitors since the road got built. Lets see…..what do ya need to know….?”  He looks down, scratching his temple, before looking back in our direction. “You can swim down that way, off the dock,” Charlie tilts his head in the direction of a wide path through the trees two sites down from the one we have chosen. “I’ll pick up garbage every two days, but you need to take it down there,” he turns his whole body, so we can see the cans at the end of the row and thrusts his head in their direction, in lieu of pointing, “So the bears and other critters don't come too close.”

I am sure my eyes get wide as he says this, but it reminds me of a question,“Were those wolves or dogs barking last night?”

Charlie’s face lights up, either amusement or fondness, “Dogs, mostly.  Old timers put the sled teams on a few islands.  Stay out there, too, sometimes.  Keeps ‘em safe from wolves and bears. They sure do make a racket at night,” he chuckles.

“Here,” he says, walking towards the outhouse, quick movement of his head telling us to follow.  The telephone pole beside the basic toilet has a grey box attached. Charlie opens the metal cover, revealing a telephone inside, “It’s the emergency phone.  Goes to my cabin.”

“The store has pay showers,” he continues, gaining momentum, “Need quarters, but they'll sell ‘em to ya. Might wanna bring a few cleaning supplies, to use before, just in case.”

During our stay, we notice that people frequently drive around the single loop that comprises the camp area, before turning down the other fork in the road. One day when Charlie comes by to say hello and pick up the garbage, we ask him about it.

He tells us there are two things down the road.  People still get water from the crystal clear lake down there, even though they have been told it contains bacteria and a water system has been built.

“And berry picking. Lowbush,” he clarifies. “Pick what you want.  It's early; not as many people will be out, ‘cause they are sour. Sometimes bears come around. Drop your berries and back up.  Those lazy devils will chase you for ‘em. They don't come this close to town much, but berries are tempting.”

Blueberries are one of the first plants to repopulate after a wildfire. There was one many years ago, but since the earth is shallow and things grow slowly, these bushes have been bountiful for more than a decade.

That evening after supper, we slather on the sun screen, since it will be daylight for hours yet. We drive the car a few miles down a washboard dirt road until we reach a place where there are no trees, just grass and bushes.  The berries hang from the branches, as thick as grapes, though not nearly as big.  Many are still green, but on the tops of the bushes, where the sun hits first, they are a rich purple blue colour.  When I taste one, the flavour tart and sweet and so strong, bursts in my mouth.  We begin picking in earnest, spreading out to give ourselves space.

Sometimes we call to each other, to make sure we have not become lost or wandered too far.  We are convinced all the noise we are making will keep the wild things who are sharing this forest with us away.

Greener pastures, or in this case, bluer berries, draws us in different directions, lengthening the distance between us.  I look up and meet eyes peering out at me from the edge of the forest. The steep angle of the sun in this part of the country, means it's rays are both casting very long shadows and getting in my eyes.  I take a few steps forward, to get a clearer look, out of the harsh rays.  She does as well.

We meet in the clearing, a bare ten feet between us, regarding each other with wary interest. Her gaze is unwavering, I can feel her seeing me. I have a moment of clarity.  While this does not look like any wolf I have seen, with her smooth white coat; she is much larger than any dog and is probably a wild animal.

Charlie told us what to do in the case of bears, but not wild dogs.  So I stare in awe, as my mind freezes under her scrutiny. After a few brief moments that seem to defy time, as I understand it, she lowers her head and chest towards the ground, then gives a short bark, before leaving in the direction from which she came.

I, too, run the way I came, relating my tale. We decide it might be wise to pack it in for the day, rather than risk further contact with the local fauna.  We feast on berries and cream that night before falling into a deep sleep, both tired from the day's adventures and sated from the treat.

Charlie stops in the next day, to pick up garbage.  He likes to talk, as do we.

“Weather’s going to turn cool, and the berries are ripe, good picking,” he says, tipping his head towards the fork that leads to where the roads splits.  Our neighborhood will be busy.  “Most people’re friendly, but call me if you have any problems.”

Charlie’s warning spurs me to ask him about my encounter.

I ask, “Do the dogs and wolves ever mix?”

"Sometimes, but we try to put those ones down, mess with the balance. Why?”

I explain my encounter: “She was too big to be a dog, I think, and not the color of any wolf I have ever seen. She stood and watched me for a long time, in the clearing.  Didn’t seems afraid, just sort of bowed her chest and walked away.” Thinking I did not relate the feeling or the story very well, I look to Charlie.

He regards me silently, eyes meeting mine, the look on his face indecipherable.  He responds simply: “mahihkaniwiw” - she is wolf.

Author's Note

All constructive feedback welcome.

This is a pretty significant rewrite from the first version posted, although the story itself is the same. Hopefully more showing, less telling makes the story more alive.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Your story is very delightful & not too long at all. Just the right length. Your descriptions are full of vivid details & it's easy to visualize everything as we read along. It's almost like taking a vacation myself, you've done such a good job of letting us get to know this area, not just the sights, but also the people, the fauna, the activities, etc. There are a number of tiny spelling issues & such, but nothing too distracting.

[Shannon]

Thank you very much for the kind review. I am glad the descriptive language lands well for people. The place is real, and so different from what most people have experienced, I thought the details help one know that place.
I swear I am an excellent proof reader - of other people's work!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

""North"
Shannon,
Was this a family trip? I wondered. How fortunate to have an experience of this kind. Between the campground as new with the smell of paint; new outhouses and berry picking, (descriptive purple blue tops." I was so taken by the whole thing and your editing gave it even more definition. Last but not least the sweet experience of meeting "mahihkaniwiw"-she is wolf. Is the perfect ending; a gift! "What a joy to accompany you!
Blessings,
Kathy

[Jibey]

An absorbing and beautifully told story of an encounter with nature, with its wonders and wild dangers. You set the scene well, and made Charlie into a character who added flavor to the episode with his dry contributions that capped off the narrative.

Berries and cream, dogs ad wolves - sweet and sour, soft and strong, safe and dangerous, yielding and powerful, kind and cruel, pleasure and pain...

So our lives stumble from one to the other... often finding each other in the darkness.

[Shannon]

Thank you for the read and review. I am glad that you saw something in it. Yes, the dichotomy of both humanity and nature.

[Richard simpson]

Very well played. A great author knows no bounds to their work in progress, I for one think it is emotionally good and not to be pushy but far better works lie ahead for you. You are a great author and storyteller. The only problem is that you need to get inside the character's soul and body and shoes to feel how they are and conduct both sentiment and value in scene. But, don't mind me, it's still great.

[Shannon]

Thank you Richard. You have commented on something people tend to either love or hate about this piece.

[Shannon]

The main character is left completely ambiguous. It's a tactic I use to some degree or another reasonably often. Thanks for the read and review!

[Richard Charles]

I enjoyed reading your story. The sentence flow made reading it effortless. Your descriptions of the area and the people engaged me quickly, especially the opening paragraph. I am amazed at how much information you shared with the reader with such an economy of adjectives. Something I hope to develop in my own writing. Thanks for the share!

[Shannon]

Thank you Richard.. This is not a first draft, but a piece I've been working on for a while.
I always appreciate the read and review.

[JoeM]

You portray, to me, an alien environment very well. In my country we have no native deciduous trees. No snakes. Definitely no bears or wolves. But we also don't have wild berries that we can gather, except for a noxious weed, blackberry.Thank you for acquainting with it.

[Shannon]

Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I am glad I was able to take you there a bit.
Good news. No snakes to speak of, especially that far north and nothing venomous.

[William Richards]

Hey, this is nicely written. The descriptions helped images form in my mind of what was going on. Good job on that. I am curious to see what happens next.

[Shannon]

Hey William. You might not be aware, but a review like this is very powerful for me.

I think differently, it's called Aphantasia and I do not visualize anything (my very first post is a personal essay about it, that needs serious updating). So you being able to picture it is fantastic.

About half of readers don't like where I have ended it.

Thank you for the read.

[alanwgraham]

This is a great and enjoyable telling of this tale of a trip into the wild. I like the conversations with Charlie, you have brought him to life. Your descriptions of the forests and berries etc is great.
Very well done.
Regards,
Alan

[Shannon]

Thank you Alan.. I don't know if you recall my very first piece, but it was about Aphantasia. I needed to learn that visual people like the imagery.

Thank you for stopping by to read.

[wordman]

i really got into it as i read,delightful story

[Shannon]

Thank you for the read wordman. Glad you enjoyed.

[wordman]

you are welcome ! and i did

[Samuel Dickens]

Please forgive me if old age has throttled too many of my brain cells, but I could never figure out who "we" consisted of. I find many of your sentences a bit unusual in their construction, but mostly in a good way. Here is an example: "insects and dogs follow us into sleep." This one, however, sounds a bit off: "People still get water from the crystal clear lake down there, even though they have been told it contains bacteria and a water system has been built." Would it not sound better like this? " Although a water system has been built, many still get their water from the crystal clear lake down there, despite the warnings of it containing bacteria."
My only experience with such a northern latitude is the two months I spent on Adak Island, far out in the Bering Sea. The cold and frozen tundra I saw there helped to understand the stark, breathtaking visuals you describe. To answer your question about length, yes, I think some condensing would make for better reading.

[Shannon]

Actually Samuel, you have commented on something many people have not even really absorbed. I decided while writing this piece that it does not matter who 'we' is. The people became the supporting cast, to the place as the primary figure. Therefore it does not really matter who they are.

I really appreciate the feedback and the read.

[Kathrin S]

I really enjoy this kind of story. I also didn't find it too long and to me, it was interesting throughout.

In general, I think you could make your sentence structure a bit easier and avoid too many convoluted sentences. Usually, the easier the better because you don't want your readers to be distracted by too complicated wording.
Other comments:
- "Eventually ..." maybe re-word this, it didn't seem complete to me.
- "civilized conversation is replacing" - 'replaced'
- Consider a full stop before 'without lights'
- Consider a full stop before 'he will pick up'
- In 'There was one many years ..." cut the comma after 'but since' - or change somehow; this sentence didn't sound quite right to me.
- In that same paragraph, 'bear' is repeated 3x.
- "While this does not look ..." This sentence didn't seem quite right to me - maybe re-write. E.g.: "This does not look like a wolf. Still, with her smooth white coat, she is much larger than any dog I have ever seen ..."
- "from the days'" -> "from the day's" - it's only been one day so far, right?

Overall, I really enjoyed the story and especially the emotions it invoked. Makes me want to go camping!

[Shannon]

Thank you for the thoughtful review. I always appreciate the effort and consider all thoughts and feedback. There is always, for a me,a balance of what i like and what a Cafe reader what to see. Sometimes I stick with my big long sentences and complex words.

Thanks again and glad you enjoyed it!