Palace

Palace

A Poem by Shannon
"

In defiance of the season

"

Hand in hand, one dark, hair shining in the sun,

One fair, skin and hair turned golden by the glowing orb.


Passion spoken in the bags they carry,

tools of the trade, carefully assembled:


Vessels of varied sizes and shapes, 
force damp sand into the perfect form.

Shovels, trowels, a wooden ruler,
shape smooth errant fabrication.

A majestic castle takes shape under
practiced hands,

Arched openings etched into the surface,
chiseled away.

Beach scoured for shells,
Iridescent treasures,
flecks twinkle in daylight.

Tenuous structure
complete and adorned,
it's architects enter the surf.

Swimming becomes
 floating,                           
                                                  suspended
  weightless.

Clouds cross the sky, 
Spaceships and dragons revealed
Vanishing within fleeting moments.

Tide crashes in,
Atlantis claims one more palace

for its watery depths. 


© 2016 Shannon



Author's Note

Shannon
A friend gave me some words, so thank you!

I think I wrote this in defiance of our early snowfall, or maybe as a farewell to summer.

All constructive feedback is always welcome.

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Reviews

very nice. thanks for sharing your talents.

Posted 1 Month Ago


dreamlike experience in reading .. enjoyed the metaphors, word play, personifications and language .. free form is perfect for such a poem says i! such a pleasant feeling emoted in me ..ahhhhhh the floating and sky reading ... great start to me day ma'am!
E.

Posted 4 Months Ago


You bring the scene alive with well chosen detail. Interesting use of form for the surfing. The final wipe-out serves to remind us of much of life's transient pleasures - and the passing of summer.

'Orb' - slightly archaic, to me, though clear enough. It's - a familiar typo. You meant its.


Posted 4 Months Ago


I can see all the images you've described as though I were walking behind you.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Shannon

4 Months Ago

Thank you. As you know, this kind of feedback is important to me. Because I can't see it
you painted some great images

Posted 6 Months Ago


Shannon

6 Months Ago

Thank you. That's always a big complement in my book.
Cool poem. I'm not too keen on poetry, but this one made me think of something of the Romantic Era than anything else. The idea of the ephemeral nature of all things seems to be the kick of this poem. I really dig that.

I'll make a suggestion though, you use "its" for possession. You have "it's"

Easy fix, hope you keep writing.

Craig


Posted 6 Months Ago


Shannon

6 Months Ago

Thank you for the read and review. This one is one of my more romantic pieces.
Thank you for .. read more
your work allows amazing imagery. loved it!


Posted 6 Months Ago


Shannon

6 Months Ago

Thank you for the read and review.
Well, this lovely summer vision had me on the beach for a while. Not only was I there, but I was young! (Can't beat that) Very nice work, Shannon.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Shannon

7 Months Ago

Thank you Sam. Many people seem to be transported to a younger time by this one. Glad to have brough.. read more
Oh, wow! You are really good! Those last two stanzas were fantastic! This poem was an absolute joy to read. :)))))

Posted 10 Months Ago


Shannon

10 Months Ago

Thank you very much. It's always interesting to see what parts speak to people.
You stirred up so many pleasant memories. I was born and raised in Atlantic City. As children we lived on the beach during the summer. Castles were our forte. Sometimes there was a whole gang of us working on one huge one. Thank you for the stirring.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Shannon

10 Months Ago

Exactly. Except, the beach was rural Saskatchewan. Glad to have stirred some memories.

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25 Reviews
Added on October 22, 2016
Last Updated on October 29, 2016

Author

Shannon
Shannon

Canada



About
I like to explore the world through the human experience, at once both varied and singular. Reading, writing and meeting people makes one's world larger. I enjoy connecting with people, learning.. more..

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