Rest In Peace Rewrite

I'm just playing with it, deciding what I can change here and there.

A lonely peaceful walk on a pocked path tonight.

Walking towards my grave,

passing headstones and flowers.

Sometimes, I'm cold enough to look only at the stars.

Other times the markers are just too intriguing to pass up.

I stop.

I read.

And their sorrows break my heart.

I leave a flower from my bouquet at each but

Daisies dwindle by the yard with no sense of loss.

A lonely peaceful walk on a pocked path tonight,

The fragrance of my daisies keeping me smiling.

Ghosts watch me pass from a few graves,

Some smile,

Some cry

Some follow silently in my wake.

 

My resting Place looms and a sigh escapes my lungs

My ankles are so heavy from the loneliness

A lonely peaceful walk on a pocked path tonight.

I sit down to my gave, sliding home.

Situating for my eternal comfort at last,

My lonely peaceful walk is done

And as I look up, I smile from a pleasant irony…

 

There are the stars, so pretty and distant

There are the daisies, of which I have none, fleeting and stunning

And there, smiling back at me

are the silent ghosts,

accumulated with love,

Tears trickling down their cheeks

Now I can close my eyes content
It was a lonely peaceful walk on a pocked path tonight.

Reviews

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

a very touching wright. i really like it. i wrote similar poems to this one, but not as good. very touching again.

[Matt]

very well written! You can almost feel the chiling nature but somehow it doesn't scare you. but seriously keep up the great work ^_^

[V. K. Harris]

Very haunting, I felt a chill reading this, kind of shocking to have that happen. Well done.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

wonderful imagery, sad but a delightful read. Great Write.

Rayne