Driven By Guilt

Family problems

Everything I say that's negative about someone
I become guilty over it
As much as I hate
The guilt takes over

You've taken from me
Yes its true
Though I never said you weren't wonderful too
In constant battle with my feelings
Bring me down, just for believing

"Pray for me." You often say.
I don't believe in fairy tales
Please go away

You get angry with me over petty things
Than flip the table if things don't go my way

I can never win
I can never win

This game of life is more for you
Take this gun and I am through

I can never win
I can never win

No matter how much I say I hurt inside
"Get over it!" Your favorite line

Yes there comes a point when I must let go
I don't want to hurt forever
No matter how hard I try
Its not as quick as pulling a lever

Bleeding internally over those who never cared
People who are un aware

Self centered a******s
Self centered a******s

Its easy to stab me
I won't bite back
Its easy to spook me
I hide in black

So take me for everything I have
Suck me dry
Kill me

Its funny to think it through
You can b***h
You locked me up
You like to tell me to move on
When your the one who put me here

Afraid to do for myself
Shaking on the phone by myself
This isn't something to just get over
But when I do
I won't be controlled by you

No more pissed off instructions
No more guilt fed complaints
To have the same rights as my sister
The one you love more than me

You hold me hostage
Against my will
Pry into everything
As I look out the window ceil

Have to know everything I do
Once I leave
It will all change

That's not to say I'm not grateful
I truly am
I could have been raised by someone else

I don't mind helping
You don't have to punish me either
Or get angry
At simple rejections

Reviews

[Sleeping Maiden]

Awww... this made me teary... mostly because -sigh- i suffer from problems like this.... not gonna explain. But anyways, this poem is very deep..meaningful...strikes the heart in a way it feels like your bleeding.. -sigh-
Or at least thats how i feel..
Interesting write. I love your work! You express yourself very well!