Suicidal Tendencies

Suicidal Tendencies

A Poem by Saint Spooky
"

And in the end she dies when love turns into suicide.

"

Her long dark hair wraps around my heart

Like fine bow ties

The knots worn and matted with blood

Another noose around this heart

She's gripping me

With her love, like nails in my feet

With her fingers in my incision

You and me, me and you; us..

We're stepping into togetherness

And you have me by my heart strings

We have this down to a dance

The type where I melt into your touch

And those lips drag my across the floor

We're stepping into an emptiness 

While this hold of yours infects me

String my heart, break it clots,

Get ready to evacuate soul..

Once again the pleasure strangles me,

I can't breath with you're tears in my lungs

And I'll never trust anyone 

As easily as we did the first time

Lips choke

No breath

Beg, begging

Plead to her

Breath air into me

Inflate my lungs and tell me I'm fine

Why do you lay there so morbidly still?

Where have I seen this face before?

You're becoming just another,

Just another broken down piece of flesh

How can you be so cruel?

As you hold onto my heart

And in this mess of hair, and blood

Our suicidal tendencies are tied.

Like your fine white collar bow ties


© 2010 Saint Spooky



Author's Note

Saint Spooky
This is about a girl I love named Marla R. Quinn
And about her suicide.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

some parts of it felt like you wanted to go into a more metaphorical style why other parts were just to blunt
the under lining of suicide and suicidal didnt do any justice
i would read a few lines and like what how it is written but
then a line that just feels weird would pop up

"Her long dark hair wraps around my heart
Like fine bow ties" this sounds very interesting it gives a good sense of feeling and makes a nice connection but then
"Like at a fine black collar affair" this line comes up and it feels quite wrong it really should have been written differently it just feel likes you had an idea and you thought it would be a good one but you just didnt know how to write it or you liked the way it sounded in your head and even though it didnt quite fit in you still wanted it to be in there i see that kind of trend in this poem
anything thing i wanted to bring up is that this feels so typical i dont feel a lot of originality from this poem
im done for now
i might come back and continue but most likely not
all in all it was 4/10 i read it till the end but it didnt give me a feeling of your soul

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

some parts of it felt like you wanted to go into a more metaphorical style why other parts were just to blunt
the under lining of suicide and suicidal didnt do any justice
i would read a few lines and like what how it is written but
then a line that just feels weird would pop up

"Her long dark hair wraps around my heart
Like fine bow ties" this sounds very interesting it gives a good sense of feeling and makes a nice connection but then
"Like at a fine black collar affair" this line comes up and it feels quite wrong it really should have been written differently it just feel likes you had an idea and you thought it would be a good one but you just didnt know how to write it or you liked the way it sounded in your head and even though it didnt quite fit in you still wanted it to be in there i see that kind of trend in this poem
anything thing i wanted to bring up is that this feels so typical i dont feel a lot of originality from this poem
im done for now
i might come back and continue but most likely not
all in all it was 4/10 i read it till the end but it didnt give me a feeling of your soul

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very well written here. Rather sad and...intense, I must say. The idea is beautifully crafted by your mind. The gore was totally necessary.

Great write!

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is a very great write, and situations like these are common, but I like your poem the best, because it speaks to me. Great job. (:

Posted 7 Years Ago


devastating situation~ the pulse beats with a modern day fairy tale gone inky dark~ your descriptives are gripping~ your poetic pulls the emotive strings~a beautiful composition of shades that are unforgiving in life~


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

347 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 3, 2010
Last Updated on July 22, 2010
Tags: suicide, suicidal, tendencies, emo, dark, sad, death, dying, killed, broken, heart, blood, hair, horror, love, girl, marla, quinn, saint, poem, the, and, is, to, too, two, you us, a, I, me, us

Author

Saint Spooky
Saint Spooky

Maui, HI



About
Let me remind you of what happened to the Jackal who divided portions, between Himself, the Fox and the Lion... After the three animals had bagged an enormous amount of game, The Lion asked the Ja.. more..

Writing
Ugly Ugly

A Poem by Saint Spooky



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..