Hoping We'll Have Fate Once More

Hoping We'll Have Fate Once More

A Poem by Saki

Descending the stairs, you make my heart unsteady.

Smiling so adorably, eyes twinkling ever so dearly,

Standing where I was standing, I melt.

 

One split moment, one smile made so much sense,

That’s hard to deny, hard to explain, as it was.

Standing where I was standing, I sigh.

 

Walking towards where you are, so uncertain was I.

Fate inevitably found us struggling and made its move, so wise.

Being inches taller, you look down on me.

At that moment, I was much like the sea.

Exploding was my heart inside yet composed I try to appear,

Extending my hand as you reach over to me.

Happier standing where I was standing, now closer to you.

 

Oh, how thousands times I could have thanked fate I’ll never know.

How loud I could’ve shouted, how high I could’ve jumped.

Standing where I was standing, trying my best to remain calm.

 

The days before you, now seems to be a world so different.

You touch me in ways I have never known.

Feeling what I was feeling, in that one moment with you,

I could survive a lifetime just with thoughts of you.

 

For the moment to never end was my deepest wish.

Yet even I know that that is much too much to ask.

Standing where I was standing, I said a silent goodbye.

 

For life isn’t perfect and love bids its time,

And such moments as this couldn’t have gone on for too long.

Hard as it was, I knew I had to go on.

 

Living life, without you, as it was before.

Hoping that in the future, we’ll have fate once more.

 


© 2010 Saki



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Poems in prose format are difficult to critique, so I shall keep this brief. This phrase seemed a little awkward: "how thousands times."
In this line: "You touched me in ways I have never known," the verb tenses switched. Watch your writing to make sure it's consistent.

There wasn't anything fantastically new and creative about this poem, but it was well-written and heart-touching. Overall, good work. I look forward to reading more of your compositions. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago



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1 Review
Added on February 12, 2010
Last Updated on February 13, 2010
Tags: fate, love, destiny, hope

Author

Saki
Saki

Quezon City, NCR, Philippines



Writing