Sins

Have you ever loved someone so much that you start hating yourself?

Sins, those words, that silence.
I served you in a plate.
Rivers that you cried in my absence,
And those calls that I ignored everyday, at eight.

See, what have I turned into,
One half loves someone,
And the other hates itself.
Living in the blues,
Preserving your gifts kept in my bookshelf.

I swear I didnt mean to,
Break you soul into pieces.
But what I can do, I have edges
So sharp, they bound my heart in a curfew.

You know my love'll stay real,
And I know so is my guilt.
But do you know what makes me happy?
I know with love you'll heal.

I am not trying to be sorry.
That won't change what I did.
I am saying this is what I am,
I sinner, counting some of the sins.

Author's Note

Thankyou for reading.
:)

Reviews

[Dargan]

This is the first thing I've reviewed on here, so hopefully it will be helpful. I think there is a core of very powerful emotion in this piece. I love the lines about "one half loves someone, and the other hates itself" and about having edges. I am guessing that should be "What can I do, I have edges." That's a really great line, but I don't quite get the next one about those edges binding your heart in a curfew. This could certainly work, it just needs something more. "I am not trying to be sorry" is also a good line. Some of the rest is a bit cliche - "living in the blues", "break your soul into pieces" - I think you're definitely capable of fresher language there and maybe some more imagery. Also the grammar of the last line doesn't make sense to me. Anyway, it's a very nice start and like I said, I really think you have a powerful core of feeling.

[Saloni]

Thankyou bery much for your review.
I will surely keep your points in mind and try to better next time.
Thankyou. :)