Paradise

Paradise

A Poem by PortraitsOfTheHeart
"

A bit of stream of consciousness writing. No thought went into this.

"
I open my door,
Stepping into the wide space,
Heaven's boulevard
Has no face.

© 2017 PortraitsOfTheHeart


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For a mere stream of writing, this is pretty good. It's not the best thing I've ever seen, but it certainly isn't the worst. I really liked the entire poem overall (especially the last two lines), but the line I feel could use some tweaking is the second one. It's not bad, it's just a bit too vague to really deliver a powerful impact (something you generally want to strive for in most lines in poems this short). Other than that, I think this piece is strong. Not bad for something you say no thought went into! :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

PortraitsOfTheHeart

7 Years Ago

Thank you!



Reviews

Short but still left me thinking. Beautiful!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

PortraitsOfTheHeart

7 Years Ago

Thank you!
beautiful lines!
short lines captured with truth...


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

PortraitsOfTheHeart

7 Years Ago

Thank you!
A interesting ending. Left the reader with something to think about. Heaven's boulevard. Mystical place needing more description. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

PortraitsOfTheHeart

7 Years Ago

Thank you!
Coyote Poetry

7 Years Ago

You are welcome.
For a mere stream of writing, this is pretty good. It's not the best thing I've ever seen, but it certainly isn't the worst. I really liked the entire poem overall (especially the last two lines), but the line I feel could use some tweaking is the second one. It's not bad, it's just a bit too vague to really deliver a powerful impact (something you generally want to strive for in most lines in poems this short). Other than that, I think this piece is strong. Not bad for something you say no thought went into! :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

PortraitsOfTheHeart

7 Years Ago

Thank you!

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4 Reviews
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Added on January 5, 2017
Last Updated on January 5, 2017

Author

PortraitsOfTheHeart
PortraitsOfTheHeart

Houghton, NY



About
I am a Junior Writing/Psychology student attending Houghton College in western NY. I enjoy writing both poetry and fiction, which usually center around some sort of psychological or philosophical idea.. more..

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