Chaos

Chaos

A Poem by SimplyDisastrous

Chaos embroiders the world on a daily basis; it somehow manages to creep into our lives like a newborn snake, slowly and deadly. Most of us consider Chaos to be blood melting pink in the snow, mass hysteria; people running and screaming, bodies lying twisted on the floor of the pavement. But, it has another definition too. Chaos can also be when you lose all sense of yourself, when you're not in control of your own life, your own body, your own actions, what you think or do. When you feel powerless, empty inside.



-Kristen Wallen



© 2010 SimplyDisastrous



Author's Note

SimplyDisastrous
Guys, I wasn't asking for constructive criticism. I really don't even think it needs editing. I used this for an opening on this autobiography thing I wrote on another site. This is a poem that I was proud of then, still proud of now. If I change the format, I think I'll just hate it. So, I wont. And, I know, it doesn't flow like a poem. But it's still that: A poem. I've had this for awhile now and when I'm proud of something, I don't change it. But thanks, anyways. [:

My Review

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Featured Review

This is more like prose. To enhance it's poem like qualities, change the format. It'll help it flow a eensey teensey little bit. This would be a great prologue to a story about self destruction, eating disorders, cutting, or depression. It is slightly spiritual, good but it needs some work. Keep editing!

-EverEmma

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I dont think you should change anything. It sounds good. You have every right to be proud, this is great work! very nice job.
~Bridget~

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I don't think it needs changing. I think it's very true, and the fragmented sentences create minor chaos in itself.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Poem or prose. Depends on what one sees it as. It is a good message though.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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~Z
I really don't think it needs changing and don't see why. *cunfuzzled*

~Z

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I feel ya. I like it the way it is, it fits. And I follow it, It's touching. I have been touched, Great work.:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You should be proud of this. It's powerful, meaningful, and overall an excellent piece of work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Also this has a very powerful message. Work with that idea, let it grow in to something fantastic. :)

-EverEmma

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is more like prose. To enhance it's poem like qualities, change the format. It'll help it flow a eensey teensey little bit. This would be a great prologue to a story about self destruction, eating disorders, cutting, or depression. It is slightly spiritual, good but it needs some work. Keep editing!

-EverEmma

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's good that you show both sides of chaos. Doesn't flow like a poem much. An excellent piece though.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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394 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 3, 2010
Last Updated on July 4, 2010
Tags: chaos, meaning, empty

Author

SimplyDisastrous
SimplyDisastrous

Hartford, CT



About
Hey. I used to be on here alot when I was 15. Now, not so much. I'm 18 now and I'm not nearly as depressing as I used to be, but still depressing enough. Message me and feel free to read my old poems... more..

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