"Because beards were never cool",

Thought Peter,

Standing over Russia and his desk,

Clutching the scissors

Who were facing his face.

Westernization was as key

As his ships in the black sea.

So, with tiny snips

At tiny black men,

They fell half-broken

Upon hollowness.

While Señor Fernando

And Señora Isabel

Beamed with conciet.

When finished cutting away

The result of testosterone and time,

Peter noted that hundreds of hairs

Rested upon his desk's globe.