Infidelity: Part II- A Wife's Frustrations

to the husband

Husband, lover,

I've lived with you for years.

Why have you commanded out

these little bitter tears?

What was my fault, my darling?

To you what have I done?

That you sought love not in your wife

but in another one?

Remember our shared moments

back to those glorious days.

Unstained with life's difficulties;

everything's in place.

But changes came and made things worse

as time has passed us by.

Our marriage is in deathbed now

with its unanswered "Why?"

Was it the food I cooked at night,

appealing not in taste?

Was it the cleaning of the house

I always did in haste?

Was it the boring clothes I wore?

Or something that I said?

Was it my unresponsiveness

when I was tired in bed?

If what I did was not enough,

your needs were still unmet.

I guess I have to thank your girl

to whom I owe a debt.

She did the things I failed to do

and maybe so much more.

But all she gave to me, your wife,

was loss worth grieving for.

My love for you is intact still;

I hope my trust is, too.

But I am not yet strong enough

to start our life anew.

So  give me time--a lot of time

for me to mend my heart.

For now let's go our separate ways

and learn to live apart.

Author's Note

I received lots of responses on my previous poem "A Wife's Fury" telling me that the husband is the one deserving blame. Let's be clear about one thing: I am not taking sides. I'm jut trying to see the the situation in different angles via different approaches. My distorted, biased, or inaccurate portrayals of the characters may be due to my lack of sufficient knowledge (and experience--thank goodness!) of the topic.

Best wishes! :D

Reviews

[WILDERNESS]

Well no one asked the husband .............................. may be it was just that he was the roving kind or she was ............. :) v nice poem indeed.

[Blue]

Haha. Thanks! I have already written a poem in response to this, from the husband's point of view. It sounds accusatory than needed so I might edit some parts.

[DIVYA]

Arzel Joy...I think you wrote beautifully. First I must applaud you...

But...sometimes, people just outgrow each other. If he has cheated on his wife, then it means he is just not that into her. If he was, he would still be mad for her, tired body, boring clothes, bad food et al.

Next, she must not even think that it is she who is to blame. No way! If her man is cheating on her, then he would anyway do it, even if she did everything perfectly and looked gorgeous. He is just that way! And remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. A man who doesn't cheat, doesn't cheat. A man who cheats will continue doing it. I know of a few absolutely beautiful, sexy and accomplished women who's husbands sleep around.

So she can either accept that her marriage will always have three people in it. Or she can do what I would have chosen to do. Just walk out on him.

A very thought-provoking write... Congats!

[Blue]

Thank you for sharing me your thoughts, Divya.

[Frieda P]

The poem in itself is spot on and written brilliantly Arzel, but I want to slap her upside the head for taking the blame upon herself...just saying, theoretically speaking of course. ha...you've pen'd another winner my young friend. ;-)

[Blue]

Haha. I understand, Frieda. Thank you!

[Frieda P]

Your work is always a delight, my pleasure!

[max_vonnegut]

This is so intense! I don't think an average modern woman would respond like that to infidelity, maybe 1 in 89 or something haha, of course I wouldn't know either. I think you did absolutely great on this one! I really like it!!

[Blue]

Wow! Statistics. Hahaha. Thank you, Max.

[max_vonnegut]

You're very welcome

[Eddie Davis]

The voice of this wife was gentle, sad and accepting, which is probably a very mature response, but she seems to lose her voice in her acceptance of her situation. Sadly, so many women, worldwide, feel they have no voice in situations like this. Your poem makes the reader ache at her helplessness and sadness and makes you want to take a baseball bat to the husband's head.
"Our marriage is (in?) deathbed now" is my favorite verse, though I wonder if you meant 'a' instead of 'in'. You really captured a different perspective here, Blue, and as you stated this was your objective, I would say you achieved it perfectly.

[Blue]

I'm thinking of a place (deathbed) where their marriage lies, though it is also perfectly acceptable to use deathbed as a metaphor for their marriage (as in "our marriage is a deathbed now"). Thank you, Eddie.