Rain, Rain (for Kerry's 4th challenge thingy)

Pain, pain, fly away,

Melt your ice in bright array,

Let the soul seep out and play,

Pain, pain, fly away!

 

Slip the noose you tied with pride,

Land that wreck on the sweeter side,

Wash the grey with happier hues,

Glean new greens to shed old blues.

 

Life rise through the cracks,

Fill your space with starry jacks,

Bounce the sun, pick up, bounce back,

Life rise through the cracks!

 

Let child-eyes blaze through the haze,

Separate truths like anaphase,

Reconfigure your universe,

Take the better; slay the worse.

 

Shame, shame, fall asleep.

Count your demons like my sheep.

Sheer the ugly from the creeps.

Shame, shame, fall asleep.

 

Dance, dance in the rain.

Watch the muck slip down the drain.

Ease the fear and clear the stains.

Dance, dance in the rain.

  

Author's Note

I am just a large child who has stolen all the good word from the grown-up LOSERS!
.....a large and scary child perhaps.
Thanks OT!

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

You know this made me smile 'til it hurt :D
The rhymes and repetition, so redolent of childhood verse, only serve to underline the satire of the parody. As far as style goes, who could wrestle such sounds and word combos out of the language as you do with ease?

Wash the grey with happier hues,
Glean new greens to shed old blues (I mean, read this aloud!)

But more than that, there is the slow evolution from pain, pain to dancing in the rain, as you gradually allow the light to seep through the lines, and all the muck of childhood to slip down the drain. It's brilliant.

Thank you for entering your work in the Sunday Challenge #4

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

It just wouldn't be you if it wasn't dark.
The little motions of hope, washing away the filth, and having some sense of freedom are buried beneath the darker overtones. Brilliant work.

[ScaryTrees]

a large scary child who knows some things about writing

i think the "shame" stanza is my favorite
i got some o that to put to sleep myself :P

great piece