Return

Return

A Chapter by Serena Tan
"

After five hundred years of torturing wait, the lady had finally returned. Lord Aloysius was awaken from the curse to retrieve her back to his hug again. But things were not that easy, as long as the

"

The Vampire’s Heart

By Serena Tan

 

Chapter 1: Return

 

       In the middle of a deep forest, the calm wind suddenly started to blow. The threes wavered severely as if they were about to be blown away. The black cloud flew to block the bright sky, with the powerful lightning thundering so loudly as if the whole sky was going to fall down. There was an extremely loud explosion, and the wind turned into a disastrous storm.

A large castle on the top of the mountain started to shake violently. An explosion thundered again as the eyes of a man in the castle pop-opened.

He turned his head to look around himself, and a wide evil grin appeared on his face.

“At last,” he whispered with his hoarse voice.

Lord Aloysius stood up, flipped his long black cloak, and took a deep breath to savour this great feeling.

The most valuable treasure had finally come back to him after five hundred years of torturing wait.

“At last,” Lord Aloysius spoke, “you’ve left me for too long. From now on, I’ll never ever let you escape from my hand anymore. NEVER!!!!!!”

       “Gosh!!!!” Ginny sat up bolt-right. She looked around herself in fear.

“Oh, gosh!” She yelled before throwing herself back to the bed.

Ginny put her hand on her forehead. She had been dreaming about this terrible thing repeatedly for a week now. When would this nightmare go away?

The girl stood up. She couldn’t force her eyes to close anymore. She was afraid that if she fell asleep, she would have that nightmare again.

Ginny switched on the bedside lamp, and caressed her shiny blond hair smoothly.

Her heart was still beating so fast from that exhausting escape.

“It was just a dream, Ginny,” she told herself. “It was totally nothing but a dream.”

She looked at her small pink clock on the bedside table. It was 2 A.M. in the morning. She was going to have her first day as a college student in a few hours.

Ginny was born and grown up in Maine. She had just moved to California last Sunday to continue her education.

Now, the girl was standing still, thinking of how she was going to spend these few hours. She didn’t want to go back to sleep, and was too sleepy to read any textbook. She thought for a while, and finally made a decision. She walked to her desk, grasped her favorite novel, and thrown herself back to the bed. Maybe, reading her most favorite book would help her forget all the bad things she had just seen in her dream.

Ginny couldn’t believe that that terrible situation was created from her own imagination. She had never realized how imaginative she was until last Sunday, when she first had this dream.

The girl shook her head to squash the thought out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Thinking of the dream too much might indirectly reinforce it to stay with her longer.

Ginny opened her book, and started to read.

       Reading her favorite novel could help Ginny to forget about the nightmare. She didn’t feel scared about it anymore. She wished that the feeling that had substituted the scare was some kind of merry feeling that she used to have from reading her favorite book.

However, the feeling that had substituted her scare was another strange feeling that kept pitching her every second. She felt as if someone had been putting his eyes on her all the time!

Ginny knew that there was no such thing. She tried to concentrate on the book in her hand, but she had lost her concentration completely. Her eyes were uncontrollably moving around the room repeatedly to see who was watching her.

Ginny had a feeling that the glare was from her left side. She took a deep breath, and then turned her stare to the window. She took a good look at it, but it was too dark outside to see anything.

Ginny narrowed her eyes in order to have a clearer picture, but it barely helped. She could see nothing at all. The only thing she could see was darkness.

“Silly girl,” she told herself, annoyed. “Nobody is watching you.”

She forced her eyes back to the book, took a deep breath, and continued her reading without realizing that right after turning her eyes away, a big bat reappeared in the darkness, watching her through the window with its red eyes. The bat showed its sharp, bloody fang scarily, and then slowly disappeared.

Ginny’s fear disappeared with the bat. She frowned a bit, suspicious of what was wrong with her. But she decided to ignore it, and enjoyed the merry feeling that had eventually come back to her.

She didn’t even realize that her time to have merry feeling was running out every single second. As soon as the sun rose next morning, her life would be changed forever.


(To be continued! If you like my story, LIKE my facebook page to read my BEST novels for FREE!Click HERE!!!)



© 2011 Serena Tan


Author's Note

Serena Tan
Please tell me what you think about my book.
I'll be more than happy to hear from you :D

My Review

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Featured Review

It's a solid start. Nice move to bring in the dream sequence at the beginning of the novel but make it more mysterious and less revealing. Leave the reader asking questions after the main character wakes up. That keeps your audience in suspense. I like the red eyes I used them in a story I was working on. I think if you really want to build a strong vampire story stick to classic Bram Stoker and it seems like you want to go a little gothic so I suggest some E. A. Poe for the ambience. Yeah one more thing. I dont think your character should say Nightmare! Think of what who you usually do when you wake up from a bad dream. Good Luck

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Not a bad start. But, too many adverbs, do not use too many adverbs it’s bad for your style. Else, you need a better transition between the dream and Ginny waking up. You also repeat "Ginny" too often. Also last sentence, and in general, don’t mix tenses (as in past and present/future) in the same sentence. It’s a purely grammatical error. Overall you need small fixes here and there, probably a reread will do. And, for goodness sake check your options before posting. I know the site editing software tends to do as it wills, but do mind the settings. The font is horrendously huge, fix that.

Otherwise well done as a prologue (for a chapter is too small), keep up the good work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

It's a solid start. Nice move to bring in the dream sequence at the beginning of the novel but make it more mysterious and less revealing. Leave the reader asking questions after the main character wakes up. That keeps your audience in suspense. I like the red eyes I used them in a story I was working on. I think if you really want to build a strong vampire story stick to classic Bram Stoker and it seems like you want to go a little gothic so I suggest some E. A. Poe for the ambience. Yeah one more thing. I dont think your character should say Nightmare! Think of what who you usually do when you wake up from a bad dream. Good Luck

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 19, 2011
Last Updated on October 20, 2011
Tags: vampire, werewolf, werewolves, vampires, romance, romantic, love, heart, beloved, lord, lady, fantasy, exciting